Top 5 Gym Rules for Guys

Correction "Pretty vs Please"

Luckily, I just joined a new gym recently. I need to reassess/survey the area for new characteristic behaviors and will report back to this thread.

Gym Rat wrote:

Correction "Pretty vs Please"

Luckily, I just joined a new gym recently. I need to reassess/survey the area for new characteristic behaviors and will report back to this thread.

Get on it Ratso !

Selling Short wrote:

...

4. STFU. No groaning, shouting, obnoxious hyperventilating, etc. Conversation should be limited to, " Can I get a spot? Are you done with this bench?" and maybe an occasional "Nice set" or "How was your swim?" Don't chat up your vegan protein shakes or your DJ gig at the local club.

5. Leave the ladies alone. Just leave them alone. It's not working.

Nice set could be terribly misunderstood as a violation of item 5.

Let me add to your list, as others have:

#n. Do not sit butt necked on a locker room (or any other) bench, chair, seat, etc. That is truly gross and unsanitary.

1. Always have your gallon jug of water with you.

2. Make sure everyone can see your barbwire tattoo.

3. Always flex a couple muscles when walking by a mirror.

4. Never do more than 3 minutes on any CARDIO machine.

5. Never leave without doing some goofy rope slams.

Tiny runner wrote:

How about taking the time to take the ten 45's off of the leg press? You've been on the machine for 45 minutes anyway.

But there might be someone who just came in who didn't know how much I leg press. They will stare in awe at the leg press and people will point to me and say "that is the manly man who leg pressed those plates". Or after I leave they will gather round the leg press and talk of the legend that is me.

Gained 20 lbs of muscle..... wrote:

1. Always have your gallon jug of water with you.

2. Make sure everyone can see your barbwire tattoo.

3. Always flex a couple muscles when walking by a mirror.

4. Never do more than 3 minutes on any CARDIO machine.

5. Never leave without doing some goofy rope slams.

What are the ropes purported to accomplish? Build muscular endurance?

The Golden Rule:

When using the treadmill, the best way to optimize your workout is to hold onto the bar for dear life while running an all-out mile. All "real" runners know that arm swing is completely unnecessary and that you will get a better workout gripping that bar.

I was at the gym today wrote:

Gained 20 lbs of muscle..... wrote:

1. Always have your gallon jug of water with you.

2. Make sure everyone can see your barbwire tattoo.

3. Always flex a couple muscles when walking by a mirror.

4. Never do more than 3 minutes on any CARDIO machine.

5. Never leave without doing some goofy rope slams.

What are the ropes purported to accomplish? Build muscular endurance?

The ropes? That's prepping for bondage time.

Selling Short wrote:

3. Dress like a man. You can wear appropriate compression shorts designed for your activity, i.e. bike shorts for spinning, speedos for swimming, etc. However, full length tights, baggy low cut muscle shirt and neon headband are

I'll be squatting in full length tights tomorrow. Come at me bro.

I was at the gym today wrote:

What are the ropes purported to accomplish?

Dupe the people paying the gym for personal training that they are doing some sort of super exercise packed with benefits.

Gained 20 lbs of muscle..... wrote:

1. Always have your gallon jug of water with you.

2. Make sure everyone can see your barbwire tattoo.

3. Always flex a couple muscles when walking by a mirror.

4. Never do more than 3 minutes on any CARDIO machine.

5. Never leave without doing some goofy rope slams.

6. Do not wear carry around your ipod and wear earphones. Instead, carry a loud boom box around with you. After all, everyone gets totally pumped up listening to Eye of the Tiger over and over again.

Usually too busy looking at women's butts and juggs.

I was at the gym today wrote:

Gained 20 lbs of muscle..... wrote:

1. Always have your gallon jug of water with you.

2. Make sure everyone can see your barbwire tattoo.

3. Always flex a couple muscles when walking by a mirror.

4. Never do more than 3 minutes on any CARDIO machine.

5. Never leave without doing some goofy rope slams.

What are the ropes purported to accomplish? Build muscular endurance?

Nothing. real men at my gym (not making this up), pound a heavy bag with what appears to be Thor's magic hammer. Its epic to watch. I'm afraid to try for fear i cannot even lift the hammer.

So I can still post gym selfies to my snap story? Sweet!

1. Be courteous

2. Clean your equipment

3. Wear deodorant

4. Contribute to good vibes

5. Don't be shady

Your welcome,

Your friendly super gym man who likes roasted red bell peppers in sandwiches

Bob the Bod wrote:

Tiny runner wrote:

Bonus: wouldn't it be something to have a front desk worker look you in the eye and welcome you? At least just pretend that you don't hate your job.

Please...some kid working for minimum wage & no benefits, who has to listen to people all day whine & cry about everything from not be able to lose weight to not having a particularly machine they want 🤐

It's ok to be vested and take pride in your job, even if it's minimum wage.

I'd like to see any of you spaghetti armed runners try to enforce ONE of these "rules" on anyone in a gym setting.

I would their twig leg off and beat them over the head with it. LOL

I was at the gym today wrote:

Selling Short wrote:

...

4. STFU. No groaning, shouting, obnoxious hyperventilating, etc. Conversation should be limited to, " Can I get a spot? Are you done with this bench?" and maybe an occasional "Nice set" or "How was your swim?" Don't chat up your vegan protein shakes or your DJ gig at the local club.

5. Leave the ladies alone. Just leave them alone. It's not working.

Nice set could be terribly misunderstood as a violation of item 5.

Let me add to your list, as others have:

#n. Do not sit butt necked on a locker room (or any other) bench, chair, seat, etc. That is truly gross and unsanitary.

That should have been butt nekkid.

I was at the gym today wrote:

[quote]Selling Short wrote:

... Do not sit butt necked on a locker room (or any other) bench, chair, seat, etc. That is truly gross and unsanitary.

I like to sit on the plastic benches naked and fart,

I love the reflective sound and enjoy the unique aroma.