You were suggesting that the fact that something was a "code" meant that it wasn't law. That's absolutely incorrect. They're not mutually exclusive categories. In fact, almost all code is law.
And yeah, I too know plenty of people who risked their lives fighting for this country. My grandfather's ship sank in the Pacific. One of my friends lost his legs and spent months in a coma. My cousin's husband got a chest full of shrapnel and spent 9 months recuperating in Kuwait. They're all honorable people who know what the flag stands for. But anyone who uses violence to silence someone they disagree with is a thug who has no respect for liberty. The fact that someone faced death doesn't make them right. Suicide bombers are brave as hell. They're also evil. The fact that someone might be able to kick my a$$ also doesn't mean that they're right. (Silly assumption, by the way.)
Fair enough. I read too much into your earlier statement. I don't object to people feeling offended when their symbols are disrespected. I do object to people who act as though flag etiquette is some kind of a universal norm such that people who deviate from it are somehow violating the rights of others, almost as though disrespecting a flag is akin to smoking in a subway car. (I realize people are likely to be more emotional about the former than the latter, but in the case of the latter, one does have a right to insist that the offending conduct cease.)
This stronger flag worshiping reaction reminds me of the reaction that many Muslims had to the Mohammed cartoons. It wasn't a, "we're offended, you're ignorant, please don't do this" type of response. It was a "you're not allowed to say those things, period" type of response.
I realize that the distinction between these two approaches to symbols isn't always clear cut. But I'd hope you can appreciate that there is an important distinction.