What guys should not do around women

Marie Claire wrote:

Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-stter

Talk about asking the impossible.

We need a Letsrun list of what women should not do around guys.

I'll start:

Never utter the words "we can still be good friends" - uhh, no we can't.

Marie Claire wrote:

Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction.

Talk about asking the impossible...

:-)

Marie Claire wrote:

Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction.

I really can't help doing that.

burp

fart

poop

pick nose

pick butt

what else am I missing?

Marie Claire wrote:

Tip less than 20 percent.

HA! I haven't stopped laughing yet!

what about wrote:

burp

fart

poop

pick nose

pick butt

what else am I missing?

Especially don't wake them up by farting in their faces, I learned that one the hard way.

What WOMEN shouldn't do around MEN:

complain "it's that time"

complain about how short a period of time a coworker spent in labor compared to yourself

lie about polishing your nails/chatting on the phone while you're on overtime

gripe about how little your husband/boyfriend makes compared to someone else's

complain about how small the house/yard/condo/apartment is

("Hey, there's the door. I don't see a ball and chain around your ankle".)

complain about how "men suck (for a, b, c reason)"

Fair's fair.

if women had one, they would do the same thing.

this should read ... "or do anything to remind us that we don't have one".

What guys should not do around women is

........never ever express what you are really thinking or share your interself "honest" feelings!...never ever!

Marie Claire wrote:

Tip less than 20 percent.

Are you f*cking kidding me?? Well if we're going to pretend it's the 1940's, then something women shouldn't do is LEAVE THE KITCHEN. Grow the f*ck up, it's expected nowadays that women make money and work just as men, so why the expectation of us to tip at LEAST 20 percent? Are you retarded? A common 15 is good manners and a good gesture, but twenty percent, for YOUR sake? Again, are you retarded?

Oh yeah, and if we're not supposed to scratch it and all that stuff in order to not remind you that it's not actually a mystical source of pleasure, than I expect you to miss your period from now until the end of your life so I don't have to be reminded that it's not a flawless pristine piece of pleasure.

Women who read Marie Claire ARE retarded. So no surprises here.

yup wrote:

I expect you to miss your period from now until the end of your life so I don't have to be reminded that it's not a flawless pristine piece of pleasure.

Or at very least STFU about it, it's not as though we don't all know it's coming every month.

i do whatever i want to around women.

yup wrote:

Marie Claire wrote:

Tip less than 20 percent.

Are you f*cking kidding me?? Well if we're going to pretend it's the 1940's, then something women shouldn't do is LEAVE THE KITCHEN. Grow the f*ck up, it's expected nowadays that women make money and work just as men, so why the expectation of us to tip at LEAST 20 percent? Are you retarded? A common 15 is good manners and a good gesture, but twenty percent, for YOUR sake? Again, are you retarded?

I bet you don't go to the same restaurant more than once.

yeah, right? what's up with some of these retards?

fellas, it's a buck a beer, and when the check comes, don't hesitate: always round up immediately.

On one of the first dates, cut a fart while in the car and try to slowly without her knowing, roll down the window.

Never works.

After you get married, you don't have to be so sneaky.

And guys, I don't know if you've heard this, but do NOT leave the toilet seat up after using the restroom. Trust me on this one.