Grade this essay.... please

you're killing your father larry!

You are screwed

punctuation,run-on sentences.Freud blew too much coke.

Do you attend Bulworth Academy? Or did you write this while watching Teletubby re-runs?

I can't really say, I've always sided more with B. F. Skinner when it comes to psychology. I mean, the Id, Libido, etc, etc. His theories are really kind of far fetched. Behaviorism is something that can be studied in a laboratory, it is something that can be quantified, simplified and can help develop predictions about the future. Behaviorism is more grounded in science. Freud theory though, it's like voodoo pseudoscience. Skinner is to math as Freud is to religion. All of the talk about balance reminds me of Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle's "Golden Mean," the state between extremes.

I had to throw in God because it is a christian school.

You use "love" and "work" very vaguely. Can you be humane (or achieve "humanness") without loving and working? Why or why not? What if you love the wrong person? What if your concept of love involves beating and dominating someone? Work at what? At a minimum, it has to be meaningful work that pays you enough to take care of yourself and your family. But work can also make you selfish, competitive, and acquisitive. How is that humane?

I think Freud is getting at the idea that happiness comes from having a deep emotional connection with other people and from having a sense of purpose as one goes through life. Flesh out your description of the positive qualities that come from loving and working, and your essay will be much stronger.

If you are in 10th or 11th grade, then "B." If you are in college, then I think your instructor will want to see a little more. But maybe some of the posters who are high school teachers can speak more accurately.

10th grade. obviously not an AP class. i would definately be screwed if it were.

Yeah it depends if this is for high school or college. Either way if you want a better grade I would consider organizing your essay. Develop the main theme more, and cite relevant examples in each paragraph. Generally your typical 5 paragraph essay will go like this: intro: tell the reader what your going to say, body: (3 paragraphs)tell the reader your info, but each paragraph should focus on one supporting idea to the essay (using relevant examples), and the conclusion should recap everything you have said. I would take what you have here and form an introduction, then break down the three main supporting ideas for the body, and finally give a conclusion that sums everything up.

I agree with other poster since this is a high school essay, most likely a B.

This is a little better. You had some problems with plural and possessives. Also, hard work is two words. I made a couple of other changs. I like your message, and I think that is the important part of the essay.

Love Plus Work

Sigmund Freud said, “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” As the father of psychoanalysis he was able to set the groundwork and state many fundamental ideas used in today’s field of psychology. Freud’s analysis regarding love and work is accurate because a balance of good and bad in life leads to true happiness through man’s ability to compare the two.

Love is considered the ultimate form of happiness but if man only knows love he will not realize its true bliss. For example, if a parent spoils their child, the child will never know the value of what they have and the amount of work or pain that went into acquiring what they have. In life, humans need love to feel happiness and contentment. However, this need developed because of man’s knowledge of pain and hard work. Thus, to be happy, humans need to know what it is to be unhappy.

In the same respect as knowing too much love, knowing too much work or pain prevents man from realizing good from bad. If people only felt or knew struggle, then how would they know that it was bad? Without the good and happy things in life to compare it to, hard work and pain might actually be considered good because it’s all they know. Therefore, having love with the work helps man see the contrast, and helps him understand the definition or essence of happiness.

In contrast to too much love or work, God created a balance in every aspect of man’s life. This balance is paramount to man’s happiness. It’s known that too much knowledge is painful, but too much ignorance is also detrimental. The balance of knowing both love and work helps humans appreciate things like love, and respect things like work. Basically balance is required for survival. Too much laziness leads to man’s downfall, but so does too much hard work because they will wear out faster.

Freud’s formula for happiness is a basic principle of life. It describes the necessary balance needed in every man’s existence. Knowing love. hard work and, most importantly, knowing the difference between the two, is what allows humans to recognize happiness from unhappiness. Thus perfection and utopia could never exist unless they also allowed some pain or work.

Love Plus Work

Sigmund Freud once said that “love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” Freud’s analysis regarding love and work is accurate because a balance of love/pain and good/bad in life not only defines our humanness, but leads to true happiness as well. This is because the two extremes on the life spectrum provides a “measuring stick” in which man can properly put in context all of life’s events. Freud, as the father of psychoanalysis, was able to establish the aforementioned principle as well as many other fundamental issues put into practice in today’s field of psychology.

The first side of life’s great spectrum is love. Love is considered the ultimate form of happiness. However, if love is all man experiences he will not realize its true bliss. This is because he has nothing to benchmark against. For example, if a parent spoils their child, the child will never know the value of what he has and what work or pain went into acquiring what he has. Likewise, in life, humans need love to feel happiness and contentment as well as knowledge of pain and hard-work. Thus, to be truly happy humans need to know what it is to be unhappy.

In the same respect as experiencing or knowing only love, knowing only pain or struggle prevents man from distinguishing good from bad. If all people felt or knew was struggle, then how would they know that it was bad? Without the good and happy things in life to compare it to, hard-work and pain might actually be considered good. Therefore, having love with pain helps man see the contrast which leads to an understanding of the definition or essence of happiness.

To offset the two over-weighted ends of the love/pain spectrum, God created a balance in every aspect of man’s life. This balance is paramount to man’s true happiness. The balance of knowing both love and pain helps humans appreciate things like love and respect things like pain. In summation, balance is required for survival.

Freud’s formula for happiness is a basic principle of life. It describes the necessary balance needed in every man’s existence. Knowing both love and pain and, more importantly, knowing the difference between the two, is what allows humans to recognize happiness from unhappiness. As a result, perfection and utopia could only exist unless love and pain are experienced.

if this is for high school i would give you a B or B+, if you are in college i would fail you. its about tenth grade level, a bit vague, but about what i was writing a year or two ago

thank you all for your honesty. i might get to run track this year.

Walter Sobchak wrote:

you're killing your father larry!

Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you...!

You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.

Walter, Walter, what's the point, man? !