Former D1 Runners w/Kids: My 7th Grader doesn't seem to "have it"

Blame your wife's poor genes.

Yeah, what others have said. Whatever your kid does in 7th grade is meaningless - stop worrying about it.

don't do anything to scare him from the sport. wait to see if he surprises you at some point. just because he's not fast doesn't mean him running isn't a chance to spend time or find a way to reach his father in a healthy and safe activity.

Don't count your kid out, I am currently at a D1 school have run under 14 minutes for 5k and in the 29:1x's... I was 4'10" my freshman and sophomore years of high school and was beaten by the top girls in the state!!! I barely broke ten minutes for 2-miles my senior year when i was 5' 6" and i am currently only 5' 9" so the main thing is consistency... If he enjoys running and wants to pursue it, my only advice is to put in the work, build a aerobic base that no one can match and the kid has a shot!!!

My father was a collegiate runner in the 1950's, running 49.0 seconds for 440 yards.

As for me, I could not run a mile without stopping in the 6th grade, even at a very slow pace.

In the 7th grade, I could finally finish a mile, in 9:47. Yes that is for ONE mile.

In the 8th grade, I started doing some jogging by myself, and my time got down to 6:30 or something.

My marathon PR is now 2:18:27, and 48:33 for 10 miles.

Give your son time....LOTS of time, and let him choose his own sport. Just keep him away from cable TV and video games.

Two things that echo a lot of what has already been said.

1. I had a guy I coached in the past whose mom was a DI All-American in the heptathlon. His younger brother was HS All Conference in football and state champ in wrestling. He ran 5 flat for a mile and 17:30 for 5k in cross. Great kid who worked hard and had a great attitude. His mom was always very supportive of him and encouraged him to find his own path. He is now a successful commercial artist and still enjoys running (eventually ran mid-16's for 5k on the road after college).

2. Another guy I coached from that era couldn't break 14 minutes in XC as a 7th grader. In 8th grade, he ran 12:30 for two miles on the track. As a 12th grader, he was second in the state in XC and qualified for Foot Locker nationals. Ended up as a two time DI All-American in XC in college.

In both cases, the parents supported their kids and loved them unconditionally. How good of an athlete they were wasn't an issue.

I am going to put my 2 cents in:

1- I coached high school for some years after I graduated from a top D1 program. One of the guys that was in 8th grade in my first year of coaching is a senior this year. As an 8th grader he was about 4'8" and literally 75 lbs...just a very tiny kid with small bones. He ran around 5:10 in 8th grade for the mile and in the 19s in cross country. Now heading into his senior year he is 6'00" tall and about 120 lbs,so still very skinny, but just in his last track season he ran huge PR's of 4:34 and 2:05 in the 800. In his first XC race this past weekend he opened up the season in a PR of 16:43. He is on a completely different level than he was even a year ago and everyone attributes it to the fact that he finally grew. His parents are awesome, they are very supportive, come to all his races, have the team over for dinners, support us coaches, etc. Couldn't ask any more of a parent.

2- Also on my team was a girl who saw lots of success her freshman year- was All-State, routinely running with the best of the best. She also grew and of course started running much slower than she had her freshman year..I am talking going from running 18:30 freshman year to not being able to break 20. She was disappointed of course, but the biggest problem is that her parents were all over her. They had turned her running career into one of the biggest things their family lived for. Their dinner conversations centered around her running and their plans for the weekend centered around her running. So when she did not run as well as she had before, she let them down and they let her know it. So rather than her just having a bad race and letting it disappoint her, it disappointed everyone. Don't be mistaken and think of this family in the same way as the previous kids family- that kid's parents left him to do what the coaches asked and supported us and him. This family did the exact opposite. This girl has just barely made her college team and is contemplating quitting. She just has not enjoyed running in the last 2-3 years because of the enormous pressure on her by none other than her family.

3- My own family was not involved with my running one bit. They still aren't. They just don't "get it" and never will. I won a state championship in high school, ran D1, and still train and race. They are "supportive" I guess, in the way that whenever I race they say "good job" without knowing much more about it...but at the same time if I called them up today and said that I've had it with running and I am quitting they would say ok, sounds good.

4- You're a jerk if you are going to put this much pressure on your son to achieve in 7TH GRADE. What were you doing in 7th grade?? What were any of us doing in 7th grade? I for one wasn't even running. If you put pressure on him he will explode and not in a good way. If you support him no matter how fast or slow, it will translate into other areas of his life- knowing that he has your support no matter what he chooses...which is how it should be. Lay off him for now and realize that he may not run great times for another 5 years.

As a 7th grader I was 5-3 and ran 6:40 for the mile. Picked up running again in 10th grade at 6'4'' and ran 4:55 and 10:19. Not college worthy times (maybe for a girl haha) but I was proud of them and never thought that I would ever get that far.

I wouldn't take regression to the mean too seriously in a sport where being brought up by someone who knows what he's doing and encourages you to do the sport is a huge advantage. Look at the Centrowitz clan or the Piggs or the Bairs or the Browns (? the kid ran for Texas), or the regular success attained by certain excellent programs (York, Woodlands, etc.). Just give your son time and encouragement and set him up with a strong base and good speed development activities.

I'm in a similar boat but my 8th grader is pretty much terrible at running right now. He can't string 2 8 min. miles together in his races. I don't put any pressure on him and encourage him to do his best and try his hardest but I can see it in him that he thinks he's letting me down. I have him doing this more for fitness because he's still one of those kids with the baby fat who hasn't matured yet. He's carrying a few extra pounds.

If he doesn't make the golf team next year in 9th grade I'm torn whether or not to encourage him to run cross country. He enjoys the "scene" with his friends but he doesn't want to be the kid getting the pity claps.

Just to continue the discussion:

I would never put pressure on my kid to live up to how I performed. The sport is hard enough without any extra set of expectations. I never bring my own success into the discussion, and I continually praise his effort.

Part of my motivation for asking the question is tied to the fact that it did come easily for me. I had early success, even though I was small in stature, like my son.

My thanks to all with suggestions (and criticisms).

CatHat wrote:

My thanks to all with suggestions (and criticisms).

You care about your son and are clearly invested in doing the right thing. He will be okay regardless of how it works out. Good job.

I know a guy here in town in a similar situation w/ you. He was a runner on the circuit in Europe. His son ran XC w/ my daughter. The son was terrible, uncoordinated, slow, small, etc. The dad told me that he was also a late bloomer. Dad encouraged and praised his efforts and I never heard him say anything negative about his son's running. The kid quit after a couple of years. Who knows, maybe he will move on to other things, maybe he will pick up running again in a couple of years. All I know is he had a great relationship w/ his dad. That's what really matters.

similar story wrote:

I'm in a similar boat but my 8th grader is pretty much terrible at running right now. He can't string 2 8 min. miles together in his races. I don't put any pressure on him and encourage him to do his best and try his hardest but I can see it in him that he thinks he's letting me down. I have him doing this more for fitness because he's still one of those kids with the baby fat who hasn't matured yet. He's carrying a few extra pounds.

If he doesn't make the golf team next year in 9th grade I'm torn whether or not to encourage him to run cross country. He enjoys the "scene" with his friends but he doesn't want to be the kid getting the pity claps.

I coached a kid like that in middle school. He was like a 7:00 miler in 8th grade, a little pudgy. He didn't run track or XC until Senior year in HS, when he finally came out for track (no XC). He was now 6'2" and lean and mean. On a few weeks training, he ran 2:04 for 800m and by the end of the season got down to 1:57 and 4:26 for 1600m. Too bad he didn't keep with it after 8th grade, but that track season was the best thing that ever happened to him in terms of his self-esteem and recognizing his own potential. He's now running in JC and looking to transfer to a 4 year, when he probably wouldn't have gone to college at all without the running.

Meanwhile, not a single one of the "fast" kids in middle school, if they ran at all, came anywhere near his times.

As a former D1 runner - married to a former D1 runner -with two boys that run (one that won the State CC title and was a FL finalist @ 5'9" - the other who is a developing Soph HS runner - almost 6') I would echo much of what has been written.

It would have been very easy to have spoon fed my kids track and cross country to the point of nausea - but I took a very hands off approach to thier sports developement, encouraging them to participate in a wide variety of sports -- soccer, basketball and yes even football. My oldest who eventually made FL Nationals played football in Middle School (6th,7th and 8th grades)and loved it ! He was the one to make the choice to focus on running even though it killed me seeing all that distance running potential on the football field. Give them a supportive sports enviroment that stresses long term development - critical for success in any sport - and they will find a way to the sport they "love". As a result they will work hard to improve. It may not be track or cross country - but in the end they will be happy and as a result you will be less frustrated.

Maybe you should love your kid for who he is and stop worrying about if he is going to be good at running or not.

What does being a D1 runner have to do with your kid's ability...Like 3 guys on our team never broke 17 for 5k so why should they have fast kids?

I don't see how so many people can remember how tall they were in 7th grade. Shit, I have no idea. Do you all write this shit down or something?

I think this post is being mocked:

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=3708689

Wrong link.

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=3708689