Parenting question

lol he's not good at something immediately, so you think it's not his thing?

Five? Time for knuckle pushups in the rain.

0/10

I hope this is a troll of the other thread about the 7yo xc runner.

If not, place your child with CPS and move on.

You lost me at "enroll your kid"

Wait for them to ASK.

Then enroll them.

Otherwise you are just living vicariously through them.

It's sad that I need years of qualifications and many hours of training to work with kids but all some of you need is a reckless night...to be parents.

I am hired because I care.

You are caring because you did a deed.

Most educators and child care workers know more about your kid than you do...because we listen

YES. We're better than parents.

notbuying it wrote:

Treading into new unfamiliar waters.

My son just turned 5 is starting flag football practice. He is one of the smaller kids. I am realizing that he isn't super tough or resilient, by watching how he deals with losing or not scoring a touchdown. I'm not sure football is his thing.

Seasoned parents:

Do you try to build toughness and resiliency or just enroll your kids in activities that play to their strong suits and interests?

Did you notice that your kids (boys) changed a lot related to these behaviors as they aged, or was it consistent with how they acted in their 3-6 year old formative years?

Thanks in advance.

Enroll him in a wide variety of activities to develop all physical aspects (assuming cost is not an issue). Think agility, balance, coordination, speed, running, jumping (and landing), skating, skiing, swimming, gymnastics (a great thing for kids to learn to control their bodies and learn how to be in the air), throwing, catching, tracking objects, striking objects, etc. Also let him try team and individual sports. Great lessons to learned from both. Some people will gravitate to one over the other.

Remember this is HIS FUN not your fun or your expectations other than giving effort. At this age short seasons are probably a good thing too. Honestly, flag football at 5 seems like that is way too complicated for a kid that young. Let your kid be the guide though. Focus on him learning the skills and getting better rather than if the team is winning or not. Do your best to find coaches more interested in the kids having fun and improving their skills rather than the team's won-loss record. It may sound weird, but early success at most sports does not lead to success in that sport later. Also, few kids get college scholarships and even fewer become pros. If it happens to your kid, great but probably not at the expense of them being messed up the rest of their lives (see Todd Marinovich or even Andre Agassi).

Looking back on my 16 year old son, he showed tendencies to give up on things that did not come "naturally" to him. Another dynamic was not trying things that he thought he would not be good at. It took a little patience (and a big sister nagging him) for him to find his groove. My daughter, now 18, was willing to put herself out there. She went out for the swim team when she got to high school having never really swam. Her stroke was not pretty, but she got better and better and eventually it became her favorite sport.

Stoppit Smith wrote:

You lost me at "enroll your kid"

Wait for them to ASK.

Then enroll them.

Otherwise you are just living vicariously through them.

It's sad that I need years of qualifications and many hours of training to work with kids but all some of you need is a reckless night...to be parents.

I am hired because I care.

You are caring because you did a deed.

Most educators and child care workers know more about your kid than you do...because we listen

YES. We're better than parents.

Maybe the kid had expressed interest in playing football because dad (or mom) watches a lot of it.

Also we enroll our kids in school without asking them :)

OK.we enroll our kids in school because school is required in most places.

We don't choose the schooling our kids get. If our kids jump rope and play hopscotch AND collect scratch and sniff stickers...you can choose that they don't...even as a boy (this was my narrative,)

My point..school is required and shapes a kid but that shape should change per the kid and not the parents

Luv2Run wrote:

Stoppit Smith wrote:

You lost me at "enroll your kid"

Wait for them to ASK.

Then enroll them.

Otherwise you are just living vicariously through them.

It's sad that I need years of qualifications and many hours of training to work with kids but all some of you need is a reckless night...to be parents.

I am hired because I care.

You are caring because you did a deed.

Most educators and child care workers know more about your kid than you do...because we listen

YES. We're better than parents.

Maybe the kid had expressed interest in playing football because dad (or mom) watches a lot of it.

Also we enroll our kids in school without asking them :)

Yep, this is exactly what happened. Thanks for the reply and not passing judgement.

How else do you get the kid started in activities? Kids left to their own devices will sit and watch TV most of the day. He asked constantly to throw the football around after seeing me watch it on TV.

I care deeply about my child and his development. Don't be so judgmental and self righteous.

Enroll your kid in a bunch of different stuff. A small child isn't going to have an interest in anything. They'll just do what they're signed up for, and they'll fins something they like if they get the opportunity.

I played 4 different sports between age 6 and 14 because my parents signed me up for them, but I didn't really have any care or understanding for them until age 13-14 when I got more serious and continued with two of them. My parents also had me start playing two different musical instruments between age 9 and 12, and I liked one of them and continued it through high school. A kid won't know they like something until they try it, so give the kid opportunities.

The poor behavior you describe when your child doesn't score or win doesn't make it sound like flag football isn't his thing or he isn't tough. It makes it sound like he's a brat and doesn't know about good sportsmanship.

Had similar issue w my 5 year old playing teeball. So we tried soccer, football, karate and basketball before he found a sport he liked, hockey. Start there by trying new things and finding something he likes. Then he will become better.

notbuying it wrote:

How else do you get the kid started in activities? Kids left to their own devices will sit and watch TV most of the day. He asked constantly to throw the football around after seeing me watch it on TV.

I care deeply about my child and his development. Don't be so judgmental and self righteous.

I'm judging you because it sounds like you want his development on your timeline and terms...not his.

Maybe I'm just a dinosaur but we didn't have the electronic games so we learned how to play actively.

But be a dad. Throw a ball with him. Play different games. Don't just go crazy because "my boy is gonna be an athlete like his dad!!🏆" That's pageant parenting and it's not great .

Send to anti abortion churches like Alan Webb and Julia Webb’s

not a parent but i firmly believe that absolutely sucking at basketball was an important prelude to my development as a runner. i was tall and liked shooting hoops for fun and stuff so i started playing on the school and traveling teams in 5th grade. i was so bad that often teammates would get mad at me for f***ing up during games and such. there wasn't anything too extreme but i remember feeling bad about it occasionally. i think it's important to learn to keep going when things aren't easy, and i do think that in our modern coddled society sports are good for that. it also made me love running that much more when i finally hit the right stage of puberty where i was (relatively) good at it. i lettered in XC my freshman year while my basketball teammates were all on the 9th grade team. it gave me a lot of self confidence throughout high school.

Homer gets it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G8XQA9QFS0

Why would anybody send his kids to football practice is beyond me.

You must hate your kid a lot.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_issues_in_American_football

notbuying it wrote:

Treading into new unfamiliar waters.

My son just turned 5 is starting flag football practice. He is one of the smaller kids. I am realizing that he isn't super tough or resilient, by watching how he deals with losing or not scoring a touchdown. I'm not sure football is his thing.

Seasoned parents:

Do you try to build toughness and resiliency or just enroll your kids in activities that play to their strong suits and interests?

Did you notice that your kids (boys) changed a lot related to these behaviors as they aged, or was it consistent with how they acted in their 3-6 year old formative years?

Thanks in advance.

What's important is if he enjoys it. If he does, he'll be motivated to get better at it, so keep him in it. If not, try him in a different sport. When you're a kid, if you don't enjoy your play (sport) then it defeats the whole purpose of being a kid.

My kids are 12 and 15 and they're on their umpteenth sport. They didn't enjoy any of them. They finally settled on cross country in the fall and lacrosse in the spring, which they seem to enjoy. They're not great at either, but they have learned a lot (toughness, resiliency, teamwork, focus, practice, fitness). I'm not sure they would have learned as much if I hadn't let them find something they liked.

PS: Their "toughness and resiliency" at age 3-6 has virtually no bearing on what it'll be like as an adult. Just let your kid be a kid. It's not time for toughness and resilience, yet. He's 5. Lol