Wife cheated, son is not mine. Advice?

The normal thing to do would be to poison her. You get the kid, the house and the money. I know this is the normal thing to do because I have seen every episode of Dateline.

On the slight chance that the test is bad, I recommend getting a second test.

It look like eventually you would have to get a legally monitored test. Some guys try to fake the results evidently.

It seems like it should be a part of prenatal, or done right at birth.

https://dnatesting.com/paternity-fraud/

Distraught Dad wrote:

na mean? wrote:

Does she know you know?

She does not know. I don’t know how to confront this issue. I’ve been working and running to avoid being around her.

This is probably why she cheated.

When you tell her you should have witnesses there. Maybe a lawyer.

Also do let her feed you or give you a drink after you break the news.

You have the upper hand atm if she doesn't know what you know. Get all your financial affairs in order. Hide all assets and money that you can before divorcing her.

running and work are cuckbait wrote:

Distraught Dad wrote:

She does not know. I don’t know how to confront this issue. I’ve been working and running to avoid being around her.

This is probably why she cheated.

I doubt it.

Whoa, that is a sack of bricks being thrown on you.

Obviously, she's taken you for granted. End the relationship.

Wow. She's sick. Get a good divorce lawyer if you have a lot assets and earnings. Even if she fxxed everything, you may still be stuck with all the duties if you're in no fault marriage state.

What is your 5k PR?

Also you should be running 100 mpw and now eating carbs.

Given that you and your wife are blonde, and junior is sporting a fro with a set of lips straight out of Compton, you didn’t think something was wrong?

1. Divorce her for infidelity, but don't bring up anything about your son's biological parentage. Just proceed with the divorce as if infidelity by itself is the sole reason.

2. As part of the divorce, be sure to get at much custody of your son as you can. Again, don't question biological parentage, or give your wife any reason to make that an issue. She might just assume your son is yours biologically too.

I'm not a lawyer, but hopefully if you get divorced and end up with joint custody at least, you'll stay in your son's life regardless of biological parentage. It would be tough for her to cut off custody post-divorce settlement by coming along later and showing you weren't the biological father. When it's the other way around, men don't get out of child support just because they find out the kid was never biologically theirs. So the same principle should apply here, and it will work to your and your son's benefit.

I agree with another poster. When you do break the news, DO NOT do it alone. You should have this prepared ahead of time. See a lawyer and let him know what is happening. You should also have a friend who is aware of what is happening. When you break the news, do it in a public setting. Be prepared for a freak out. Do not let her get the best of you. Walk away if needed. I do not know your wife, so I don't know how bad it could. That is why it might be best to have someone with you to witness.

I'm sorry to hear this. Keep your head up and move on. It will feel better soon.

TAA wrote:

Liquidate all your savings, change your name, and move to a third world country.

This is clearly the best answer.

Do NOT break the news at all.

You have a son regardless of whether he is biologically related to you. Any man who could raise a child for four years and then toss him overboard after finding out that the child's genes did not come from you is barely human, let alone a real man. Be a man.

So, you have a son. That statement in and of itself should tell you what your #1 priority should be. Here, let me spell it out for you:

#1 Priority = Your son

Now, with that straight, your first though needs to be, how do you best protect your son. Here are a few hints:

1) It is not by running away.

2) It is not by ceding control to the biological father

3) It is not by ceding control to the mother

It is by you retaining as much control over his upbringing as possible. And that means not bringing up the issue of biological parenthood.

So, in conclusion:

1) Be a man. See that your son has the best possible upbringing.

2) Divorce if you wish, but do not bring up the issue of biological parenthood

^^^

worst part of conversation so far. Taking care of the kid is honorable but what if the wife is deceiving the other dude or what if he already knows who's kid it is. What if she brings it all up on her own terms after this guy puts another 6 years into the child?

Is this wife going to give the man a child the maybe he has wanted. Going to give the son brothers , who wants what?

At the very least over to go to counseling over it. Is this mother even fit to be a wife and mother?

Distraught Dad wrote:

I’ve been married for 8 years and recently found out my wife has been cheating on me for at least 5 years. I had my suspicions and simply thought I was being paranoid so I would just brush it off. Now, the truth has broken out.

To make matters worse, we have a 4 year old son. I got a DNA test (without wife knowing) and it turns out that I am not the father. I am obviously distraught and am certainly going to file for a divorce.

Speaking as a lawyer: You need to get a lawyer, immediately.

You've already made up your mind to divorce her, so you'll likely need a lawyer for that; but what you *really* need legal advice for is how to handle the supporting of the child.

Depending on the jurisdiction, your continuing to support the child--now that you know it's not yours--can be prima facie evidence that you accept the situation, in which case you could be on the hook until the child is 18 (or even older, again depending on the jurisdiction).

YOU NEED A LAWYER NOW. Hiring one yesterday would have been good; failing that, get one Monday and not later.

This is entirely serious. Good legal advice ain't necessarily cheap, but potentially it could save you a huge sum.

Good luck.

SlowAFRunnrMom wrote:

You have the upper hand atm if she doesn't know what you know. Get all your financial affairs in order. Hide all assets and money that you can before divorcing her.

Distraught Dad wrote:

I will keep this pretty short so not to bore anyone.

I’ve been married for 8 years and recently found out my wife has been cheating on me for at least 5 years. I had my suspicions and simply thought I was being paranoid so I would just brush it off. Now, the truth has broken out.

To make matters worse, we have a 4 year old son. I got a DNA test (without wife knowing) and it turns out that I am not the father. I am obviously distraught and am certainly going to file for a divorce.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on how to handle this situation? I don’t want to share this drama with family/friends yet, so I am hoping I can get some help from you guys. Thanks for the help (and thanks to the inevitable trolls).

Sorry bro. How are you keeping this to yourself and not blowing up?

Anyways didn’t read all the replies so I don’t know if this has been said but the good news here is that you are off the hook for child support. That wouldve been a long 13 years man. You’re free.