Getting enough guts to approach my crush...(D1)

"I'm going to (event) Saturday night. Do you want to come with me?"

MWRunner wrote:

I just wanted the readers to better understand my situation, and also realize if I am at a big D1 school, being on the softball team is a big deal to everyone..versus track no one really cares about regardless...

I've never heard of a school where being on the softball team is a big deal to everyone. The women I've seen on college softball teams are at all levels of attactiveness and a lot of them won't be dating the football QB.

At SDSU, the intimidating girls were on the volleyball team. Not only were they gorgeous, they were tall.

Anyway, just go introduce yourself. You can talk about where she's from or how good their team is this year. If she's attracted to you it will go well and if she is not, it will be awkward.

When you see her on campus stop her and say

"Excuse me, are you on the softball team?"

Yes

"Oh I thought I recognized you, you're that new girl right?"

Yes haha

"I'm name, nice to meet you (shake hand)"

"I'm sorry, you have the most interesting (comment on her yoga pants or something)"

Then make some more small talk without asking questions or smelling needy

Then say

"Hey I gotta go but you seem actually pretty cool. I'm going to x event, you should come"

Hopefully she says yes here or you know how to handle objections

"Ok, what's your number"

Text her a bit, invite her to said event, talk to her more there, then continue to hang out

But honestly, you sound too invested in her to not come across as needy. Just feedback, but still go out there and execute baby. The only way you will disappoint me is if you chicken out when you see her walking on campus, and then in 20 years you are sitting on your couch thinking what could have been if you sacked up.

Softball player? Check which team she really plays for.

Take it from a guy who waited until he felt like he'd found the "perfect situation", put in the ground work etc etc, and then found out in the time it took him to work up the courage she had started talking to someone else.

Just sack up and do it sooner rather than later.

You dont want to waste time trying to make things perfect when you could be trying to get over her and move on.

And besides - asking her out doesnt "mess things up", 1) you dont even really know her 2) theres nothing to stop you still hanging out and being friends, most girls these days are good at not being awkward about turning someone down, the trick is to just dive back in to being friendly rather than withdrawing completely.

If you truly think she is the one ask her for coffee and just go up and compliment the fukk out of her. Girls like guys who are confident and happy within themselves(they want to see you are happy yourself otherwise how can you be happy if you are in a relationship with her). You should literally laugh your head off when she says anything. Since you are a runner you could also run by her and fall when you pass by her and pretend to be hurt. That will get her to help you and will break the ice. When she comes to help you off the ground ask her is she an angel. Pretend you injured something and ask if she can help walk you to the doctor or something. You can chat along the way.

Cringing at all the bluepilled Beta cuk advice in this thread. smh

Follow her on instagram. Some girls put their snapchats in their instagram bios. If she does add her.

Next time you have a good opportunity just try and talk to her. Say that you've seen her around. Ask her a couple questions, maybe ask for her number or snapchat. (Personally most people at my college use snapchat versus phone numbers). The athletes at my D1 school all party together and stuff so I'd imagine you'll have good chances to see her around at athlete parties.

Start snapchatting her or texting her, if she's interested she'll actually talk to you. Talk to her for a little, ask her if she wants to do something (get food, coffee, hang out, game of thrones?).

If not , be friends with her, meet her cute friends, and onto the next one.

Slide DMs tonight. Have a shot or three first and do it.

This may be the worst advice on the internet.

The key to this is simply realizing that she will say yes to a date or she will say no and either way it doesn't matter.

I'm married a long time, but the last few years of dating were easy once I stopped caring whether she said yes or no. I'm still the good (or bad) guy that I am either way. And let's face it, you don't know that you really like her until you get to know her. If she says no, you move on. No harm done.

Talk very briefly to her (less than 2 minutes) and ask her to something low risk, like afternoon coffee. (Once you get out of college, lunch at work is ideal.)

First goal is to get her to coffee, then at coffee to figure out whether you want to ask her out to dinner, movie, etc.

I really like this advice, and also appreciate the serious responses. I am extremely "shy" but also am social and likable around people I get to know, or large groups of people. I am not the type to put myself out there and probably end up not getting a lot of chances with girls I would definitely like a chance with. I would rather keep to myself in that aspect rather than get rejected and feel awkward around her and her friends if I ever see them at the dining hall, campus, social events, etc.

Party would be ideal, but like I said this is getting into the serious part of the season, and I stay away from going out then. So the only option would be if I went up to her and introduced myself, which is totally unlike me, or somehow "bumped" into each other in public.

Haven't acted yet, and I think my worry is that she is almost forced to say "yes" since she is new. I know if I was new to a place, and someone relatively decent looking, that people liked, asked me to get food sometime, I definitely wouldn't want to turn them down right away, even if I wasn't interested. I don't want to put her in a bad spot if she wouldn't be interested because I don't want to new girl to be forced to say yes just so she doesn't ruin anything socially for herself.

Any more ideas would be greatly appreciated. Feeling a little bit more confidence reading some of these posts. Thanks guys.

I approached a woman once and told her that I'd seen her around and asked if she wanted to get coffee with me, and it worked. I found out within a month that she was looking for a husband, and we were both 20 at the time and I wanted to take it a little slower, so things didn't materialize in the long run (though I got some pretty good HJs out of it). My point is that your success depends on her mindset. If you're what she's looking for, my approach will work.

On that note, a girl at the coffee cart I frequent noticed me after not being there for months and remembered my order. How DTF is she?

it's all luck wrote:

I approached a woman once and told her that I'd seen her around and asked if she wanted to get coffee with me, and it worked. I found out within a month that she was looking for a husband, and we were both 20 at the time and I wanted to take it a little slower, so things didn't materialize in the long run (though I got some pretty good HJs out of it). My point is that your success depends on her mindset. If you're what she's looking for, my approach will work.

On that note, a girl at the coffee cart I frequent noticed me after not being there for months and remembered my order. How DTF is she?

Is she still in the market?

In_the_market wrote:

it's all luck wrote:

I approached a woman once and told her that I'd seen her around and asked if she wanted to get coffee with me, and it worked. I found out within a month that she was looking for a husband, and we were both 20 at the time and I wanted to take it a little slower, so things didn't materialize in the long run (though I got some pretty good HJs out of it). My point is that your success depends on her mindset. If you're what she's looking for, my approach will work.

On that note, a girl at the coffee cart I frequent noticed me after not being there for months and remembered my order. How DTF is she?

Is she still in the market?

Don't think so. I try not to blame myself too much for that one. She was rail thin with HUGE cans, a pianist, and an MS in EE.

I used to be shy like you, so I can relate.

Go to her next home softball game and watch her make a good play.

Next time you see her, say "Hi, I was at the game the other day, Nice play by the way".

Let the conversation flow from there and see if she's responsive. If so, introduce yourself and take it from there.

Do it.

Yeah, I think about this too. Even if she said yes, I would have to see if I even liked her personality fully. Looks only goes so far, if I actually really like this girl.

The semester is coming to an end in a few weeks, and really want to do it before the summer begins. I just don't have the full confidence to go up to her and talk with her for a bit. She is really pretty which makes me lack some confidence, and also seems like a "popular / sweet" girl, even with her being new.

I can't get ANY hints, besides the occasional glances at each other through passing, or across the location we are at. I am also worried that I don't know whether she has a thing with someone and wouldn't want to try and that be the reason I failed. But i also don't want to act too late and her start to see someone, but she would've been interested had I just tried earlier...

I guess for me to make any sort of advances, I would have to purposely set myself up for a conversation, without flat out approaching her out of the blue. Maybe some ideas for that could help?? I do see her very frequently...

I like this idea !! Someone else mentioned it. I didn't want to provide too much information off the bat, but she doesn't play currently! Whatever reason that may be, I haven't seen her hit the field yet. So I could not say that even though thats good!!

MWRunner wrote:

I guess for me to make any sort of advances, I would have to purposely set myself up for a conversation, without flat out approaching her out of the blue. Maybe some ideas for that could help?? I do see her very frequently...

You don't have to have a conversation. Most people feel like they're being solicited if random people try starting conversations with them in public. Just keep telling yourself you're going to ask her out and don't give yourself a reason not to.

Another time I dated a girl who I met on campus: we were working at the same table in the library because I'd sat down next to her. She mentioned something to her friend about how teaching math seemed boring and I agreed (I taught math). So she asked my name and I bantered with her for like five hours.

In response to the social media route. I really don't want to do it / follow her, because I don't want to seem weird since we've never met or spoke. Also, sliding into the DM's or adding her on snapchat (which she doesn't have in her bio), isn't good because it shows lack of confidence especially if I see her in person all the time, she'll just think why I didn't approach her in person (essentially thinking I'm socially awkward).