Mom buys expensive car 1 year before I go to university

casual THURSDAY Hawaiian shirt guy wrote:

Hunke wrote:

After seeing so many threads like this on LetsRun, I'm a bit surprised young people even post on here. Essentially every thread started by a young person seeking advice is inundated by middle aged or older men who have some weird chip on their shoulder. These types typically immediately take their frustration out on the younger OP with ad hominem attacks in an attempt to massage their ego. I think this also has the effect of discouraging people from posting supportive things. I imagine that the OP comes away with a sour taste in their mouth every single time. Kinda sad.

(Yet, here I am reading and posting on LetsRun.)

yeah, so weird that people give their opinions when someone asks for advice.

Yes, that both summarizes my post and responds in a clever way. Thank you for your insight.

No, parents aren't obligated to pay a dime, but when it comes time for the kids to pay for their nursing homes, don't be surprised if they let them live in the one that they can afford with their social security checks.

Yes - this` wrote:

Thanks.

Another thing is that I never had any debt from going to college.

If you can't afford to pay it, don't go, which applies to everything, not just to college.

Always think of what's the cost vs benefit to what you are doing. Aim for the greatest benefit for the lowest cost,

preferably free. The old adage is as true today as it ever was, the best things in life are free.

Yes they sure are, but also invaluable. You can't buy them at any price.

Junior colleges are less expensive than 4 year schools, D3 is less expensive than D1 etc.

But learning on your own is the best. Always first look to learn on your own, and improve your own habits.

D3 is often more expensive than D1.

derp wrote:

blamb61 wrote:

I worked, borrowed, got grants and joined the military to get through school. Quit your whining and get to work. You can appreciate help from your parents but they DO NOT owe you a college education.

some people might not want to sign up to fly around the world fighting unjust wars and killing people or getting killed for o good reason. All the people I know that joined the military for the 'benefits' ended up in years of therapy.

millennials whine about a lot, but I'm not going to begrudge them for not wanting to sign up to be a killer in order to get an accounting degree.

I know lots of military and they are some of the most standout-stable people I know. They are the only reason you and I are not having to talk Russian or Chinese right now! I don't think all our campaigns have been done right but to say all military are killers is a big stretch. Be glad they preserve your freedoms!

My main point is that you can make it happen. My second oldest boy graduated last year with a degree in business with a finance emphasis. I helped him 50% his first two years and he did it all after that working about 25-30 hrs/week and taking a full school load. He never asked for help. He did just fine, graduated, married a beautiful girl about the same time, and is working a good job now. I did offer to help him a little his last couple of years and he said he had it under control.

I don't live in the US. US soldiers flying around the world for commercial/political wars does nothing except impinge my freedom. Now I am a target in a much bigger part of the world than 20 years ago.

If the US had done nothing after 9/11 except turn the other cheek i would have a lot more freedom than I do now, so don't tell me these wars are about freedom. Was Vietnam about my freedom too?

Large portions of the rest of the world seems to be perfectly free w/o waging constant aggressive warfare. Why is American Freedom so special that it requires our young people to go kill and be killed in pointless wars? Doesn't sound like freedom, sound like a virus.

Well said.

klaj wrote:

My parents were quite poor yet sent me to private school.

They never saved for college. Never spoke to me about college, but I was of the understanding I'd have to work and go to school.

3 out of 4 of us got full ride Division I scholarship for XC/Track; the other almost full academic.

I now have three kids, we make close to $300k/year and I am not saving for their college.

They have all the opportunities in the world, both athletically and academically, to earn a full scholarship.

And if they don't, they'll figure it out.

Bad and selfish parenting tends to get passed down from generation to generation as you see here in the post above. Quite sad. Hopefully his kids can break the cycle.

Too bad for you.

HRE wrote:

Well said.

You are a fool. Didn't think that was the case before but now it is clear.

"The war is not meant to be won. It is meant to be endless." George Orwell

Hunke, the OP didn't ask for advice. Read it again.

Also, this ...

"I don't complain at all to them because their my parents and don't owe me anything. It just really bums me they keep talking about wanting me to go to university but they spend money like crazy on themselves."

How can you defend this drivel?

OP says parents don't owe him anything so he doesn't complain. Instead he comes on LetsRun to complain that his parents want him to go to university but won't pay.

OP needs to work on their self confidence and have a heart-to-heart with their parents.

Hunke should go focus on his local community and the homeless where people could actually use support and assistance. Leave LetsRun to the rest of us.

Ehso wrote:

Welp, I guess at least half of interested letsrunners really don’t care that much about their kids (or anyone else, seemingly). What a strange way to live.

Are you saying that if you don't pay for your kid's education, you don't care for your kid? If so, I don't know if I agree. Also, if that's what you're saying, why stop there? Why not pay for your kid's first home too?

I can actually see that happening by the next generation: Random LRC poster circa 2045 "Can you believe my parents are spending money on themselves instead of buying me a house?!?!?! Why do they want me to be burdened by that debt?"

Do you have any pics of your mom?

You're really stretching the point here. Yes, we may see such threads as you mention here in 2045 or even today. But there's a difference between doing things that can help your kids do well in life and giving them things. Why support them once they're old enough to quit high school? Why not tell them to get a job and charge them rent? Again, I'm not arguing that parents are obligated to pay for their kids to go to college, though I personally would have a hard time justifying such a decision, but doing so is not the same as giving them a house.

HRE wrote:

You're really stretching the point here. Yes, we may see such threads as you mention here in 2045 or even today. But there's a difference between doing things that can help your kids do well in life and giving them things. Why support them once they're old enough to quit high school? Why not tell them to get a job and charge them rent? Again, I'm not arguing that parents are obligated to pay for their kids to go to college, though I personally would have a hard time justifying such a decision, but doing so is not the same as giving them a house.

Yes, I do often engage in reductio ad absurdum. My main beef was with the implication (if that is what was implied) that not paying for your kid's college means that you don't care about them. Only because my parents didn't pay for mine (my rich Uncle Sam paid for my undergrad by way of GI Bill benefits), but I do know that they care about me.

The whole business of paying for college or not with my dad was mildly weird. I was brought up to go to college. From first grade I was told to be good in school and get good grades so I could get into college, get a good job and not have to dig ditches, which I believe was the forerunner to flipping burgers as the example of the job no one wants, for a living. I didn't even know college was a thing you paid for when all that started. Then sometime in high school he said he had no money to pay for me to go. As I said, I had no bad feelings about it, the money was his to use as he wanted, but I did wonder why they hammered the idea of college into me if they knew we might not be able to afford it. And while he said didn't have enough money to pay any of my college costs, the Pennsylvania Higher Education Assistance Agency disagreed.

But I knew he loved me and cared about me no matter. Different people have different ideas about how caring manifests itself.

John Utah wrote:

klaj wrote:

My parents were quite poor yet sent me to private school.

They never saved for college. Never spoke to me about college, but I was of the understanding I'd have to work and go to school.

3 out of 4 of us got full ride Division I scholarship for XC/Track; the other almost full academic.

I now have three kids, we make close to $300k/year and I am not saving for their college.

They have all the opportunities in the world, both athletically and academically, to earn a full scholarship.

And if they don't, they'll figure it out.

Bad and selfish parenting tends to get passed down from generation to generation as you see here in the post above. Quite sad. Hopefully his kids can break the cycle.

This is f***ing moronic. Were you born in virtually any other generation, country or ethicity, you would have a 0% chance of success. Not opportunities or 'figure it out'.

My dad made 500/year and paid nothing, and when he did offer to pay for something, he wasted enough of my time to make me fail to meet my schedules and responsibilities for college and ended up not paying. So, I lost the opportunities.

The world does not 'find a way'. People with the wrong support system usually end up dead or in jail. You are a dangerous, irresponsible idiot for believing in this.