HobbyJogger Coach/program ruining my marriage?!

Smoove wrote:

That being said, I have known lots of women who have been unfaithful.

How do you know all these unfaithful women?

Don't act too soon wrote:

My advice is to wait it out and not act to soon before confronting her.

I have been a coach/trainer for about 5 years, and yes, there have been times when I have been very flirty with athletes. On occasion, some of them were married or in LTRs. I only slept with married women twice, but both are still with their husbands.

Leave this thread open on a computer she's certain to use. She'll get the point.

Don't act too soon wrote:

I have been a coach/trainer for about 5 years, and yes, there have been times when I have been very flirty with athletes. On occasion, some of them were married or in LTRs. I only slept with married women twice, but both are still with their husbands.

I'm sure these words will be reassuring to the OP.

I coach a running group . . .

Seriously, have you not heard of infidelity in your circles? I am 45 years old. I have worked with the same people for over 17 years. I have seen a lot of break ups and near break ups and been through a divorce myself. Life happens and it is not our nature to be monogamous. Kinsey's study of over 60 years ago concluded that about a quarter of married women were unfaithful, a number that I would suggest has more likely climbed since then than dropped given the cultural changes we have gone through.

So the real question is, how do you not know or know of several women who have been unfaithful?

A more recent study:

"In a 1991 study, sex researcher Shere Hite found that 70 percent of married women have cheated on their partners; a 1993 follow-up study found that 72 percent of married men have as well."

Take an ad out in the personal column in your local paper. Something along the lines of "If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain,If you´re not into yoga, if you have half a brain, f you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape, I´m the love that you´ve looked for, write to me, and escape."

You are sure to find your true soulmate.

OP, why don't you join a hot yoga club and see how she responds?

Smoove wrote:

A more recent study:

"In a 1991 study, sex researcher Shere Hite found that 70 percent of married women have cheated on their partners; a 1993 follow-up study found that 72 percent of married men have as well."

So this means there is a 70% chance my wife cheated or is cheating on me?

Not good

At this point in my life if I found out my wife was banging another dude, I think I'd be more impressed that she found the time and energy than I would be upset.

These studies are all over the board. The point is infidelity is not uncommon. So does it need to be fatal to a relationship?

This is easy,

Wait until kids are in bed. Sit her down and tell her you how you feel and what you found on her phone. Then tell her it makes you uncomfortable to txt this dude, even as a group txt. Then ask her to consider to stop running with that group. If she gets very defensive about any of it then there is your hint as to where her feelings are.

Wife and I have very simple rules...no texting the opposite sex unless we both know the person and for good reason.

no 'friending' or 'following' anyone unless we both know them.

no running with opposite sex unless part of a group and we both know them.

it bothers me that you are typing "txt" instead of "text". You are only saving one letter!

Easy. Foursome.

qwert12 wrote:

Wife and I have very simple rules...no texting the opposite sex unless we both know the person and for good reason.

no 'friending' or 'following' anyone unless we both know them.

no running with opposite sex unless part of a group and we both know them.

Draconian rules, friend.

Get a female friend to join the group, she'll be able to immediately tell if the vibe is healthy or not

I don't think you should be snooping her phone, that just shows you have lost trust in her and are now acting untrustworthy yourself not a good move

If you have to know, wash her clothes for her and tell her you were trying to help but are bothered by the smell of her clothe

Ask the other woman you mentioned how the running class is going. And if you should join. Ask her if she finds the trainer attractive and encourage her to go for it n. You'll be able to tell by her reaction.

Mill Age wrote:

The more pressing issue. Is he high mileage or low mileage coach?

This was my first thought too

I never thought these letters were real until one day I was at the track with my mother-in-law. We were alone. . .

Smoove wrote:

At this point in my life if I found out my wife was banging another dude, I think I'd be more impressed that she found the time and energy than I would be upset.

These studies are all over the board. The point is infidelity is not uncommon. So does it need to be fatal to a relationship?

Loss of monogamy need not be fatal to a relationship. Loss of fidelity is 100% poison to a relationship, and the two are irreconcilable.