Vote For Me. Here are the reasons why you should vote for me:
I cheat at golf.
I never read the Bible, or any other book.
I cheated on the SAT.
I don't pay taxes.
Most of my wives have dumped me.
I cheated on all my wives.
I've stolen campaign funds to pay off the women that I was adulterous with.
Over twenty women have accused me of sexual assault.
I have bragged on television about sexual assault.
My very good friend was a pedophile and I praised him on television.
I have bragged about peeping on pre-teen girls in beauty pageant dressing rooms.
I dodged the draft.
I think everybody in the military is a sucker and a loser.
I have bankrupted every company that I've been involved with.
I stole millions from my contractors.
I hire lots of illegal immigrants to work at my failing golf clubs.
I have been caught lying over 20,000 times in the past three years.
I stole money from thousands of people by suckering them into enrolling in my fake university.
I am a Russian agent.
I have a fake tan, and it is orange.
I vote by mail.