Stopped talking to a girl with no explanation. Feeling bad about it.

yirp wrote:

zero T wrote:

It was an anatomical thing? What? And what do you mean she was the best girl you ever dated if the sex was terrible and you hardly ever talked? Is this a troll?

Uh, I didn't "fit" inside very well, which made things difficult.

Dating is not just sex. Have you ever gone out with a girl?

I never said we hardly ever talked. Can you read?

0/10. Poor trolling technique. If you are not LDOPA, you sure mimic his style. Far too much posting on your part, and endless stupidity.

[quote]yirp wrote:

. We're both very unusual people yet similar to each other in that sort of almost supernatural way [quote]

This sounds like you are both adopted and actually brother and sister. It has happened.

yirp wrote:

zero T wrote:

I can't help but notice that you didn't mention sex or attraction at all. The whole thing sounds like it could have been between two heterosexual guys. My guess is the sex wasn't that good for her.

The sex was terrible, both for her and for me. Some of the worst sex I've ever had, actually. It was an anatomical thing. But yeah, that was a big part of it. Even though she was great, probably the best girl I've ever dated, I wasn't really that physically attracted to her. I can't really put my finger on why. I just wasn't.

That's it. you should have put your tongue on it, not your finger.

yirp wrote:

Yeah, man. This is exactly what I'm thinking. Funny thing is, (not that I put much into this sort of thing) we both took the Myer's-Brigg's test and our types supposedly make great platonic friends. That's how I felt almost all along. That's partly why the sex was so bad. It was just weird to try to have a sexual relationship with someone I was such good friends with. She maintained all along that she was very sexually attracted to me, even to the point where I felt like she was using me for sex at times, which kind of turned me off since that's not how I viewed the relationship.

Omg you f*cking idiot.

Call her and say

We have not spoken in months, the sex sucked, our life goals are divergent, I felt our relationship was bland, unfulfilling and pointless yet here I am calling you up long after the whatever our odd relationship was has ended. Can you tell me why I'm calling and why you even listened to that long run-on stream of drivel?

Then come back and tell us what happened and we'll either call you a troll, insult your intelligence, manhood or member size and permit us to fell good about, we hope, bringing out a long and more troublesome bout of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy for you to struggle with.

What you guys seem to be missing is the depth of the connection. We didn't just drink a few beers together and watch a few movies. We're both very unusual people yet similar to each other in that sort of almost supernatural way, and I talked about things with her that I don't talk about with anyone. She's probably in the top 5 people I've ever met in my life, including my own family. Even if I don't want to date her any more, it seems tragic to cut all ties, especially when we live in the same area and will undoubtedly bump into each other now and again. I want to ask her to dinner just to talk and make sure we're cool so it's not weird when I run into her at a concert or something.

This is your problem. You are hanging on to this out of fear that you will not find another person like this. You are selling yourself short because you are young and life experience tells you that everyone else is shallow.

It is not hard to meet another person who not only shares this close connection, but is also compatible sexually. You just haven't accepted this fact, and you are worried about losing the time you put in with this girl (aka the "sunk cost" fallacy).

If your connection was that good, she would have tried to contact you. However, the whole "relationship," she held you at bay except when it suited her. This is not the character of a good person.

You're an idiot. You know nothing about me.

I've dated a guy like you. I said things like that to protect myself and because I was getting a vibe from him that he wasn't that keen/ was scared of too close a connection. No sane person tells their new boyfriend at the start of the relationship that they want to get married.

You say she usually contacted you first in the relationship, you didn't have daily contact, then you didn't have contact for 3 weeks. My guess is that she got bored with chasing after you and all the running around she was doing. She probably really liked you to bother with you when you are like this in the first place but its a competitive world out there, there are other men who are a little more proactive and better mannered. Your loss.

Solow wrote:

I've dated a guy like you. I said things like that to protect myself and because I was getting a vibe from him that he wasn't that keen/ was scared of too close a connection. No sane person tells their new boyfriend at the start of the relationship that they want to get married.

You say she usually contacted you first in the relationship, you didn't have daily contact, then you didn't have contact for 3 weeks. My guess is that she got bored with chasing after you and all the running around she was doing. She probably really liked you to bother with you when you are like this in the first place but its a competitive world out there, there are other men who are a little more proactive and better mannered. Your loss.

You're totally off the mark. I was the one who was investing into the relationship and wanting it to be something legitimate. She was the one who kept pulling back and made it clear she didn't want anything serious. Because I really liked her, this bothered me, and I started pulling back myself because I felt like I cared much more about the relationship than she did. I ended up pulling back almost completely, but that was only after about 3 months.

Looking back on things it's all very strange to me because her words couldn't have been more contradictory, though I don't think she was aware of it. She was adamant that she never wanted to get married or have kids and never wanted anything resembling a life-partner, but at the same time she would express that she felt very alone and wished she had a "family" for lack of a better term. Without going into detail, she's almost like a refugee as her family is back in the home country, and she feels she can never go back, so she's kind of floating unattached to anyone here, like she has no roots or ties. I told her numerous times that for me, a life partner is very important and something I want very much, and that if I found someone I could call that I would do anything for them, go anywhere. Maybe she was testing me, but it definitely backfired.

And no, marriage is actually quite common to talk about early in a relationship. Not marriage with the person you're dating; just marriage in general and what you both think of it. It's part of getting to know the other person and what they want out of life.

I'm reading that very little if anything was clear and there were incompatibilities. That's a good enough reason to quit it.

Why do you feel bad for just leaving it? What would you hope to resolve by contacting her? Maybe she's moved on?

And now for the really important stuff:

This thread is useless without pictures.

What's your workout schedule? PR's? Mileage? Is she faster than you?

I'd guess you have a colorful past with a Mom that wasn't the best parent given all the uncertainty in your posts.

yirp wrote:

zero T wrote:

I can't help but notice that you didn't mention sex or attraction at all. The whole thing sounds like it could have been between two heterosexual guys. My guess is the sex wasn't that good for her.

The sex was terrible, both for her and for me. Some of the worst sex I've ever had, actually. It was an anatomical thing. But yeah, that was a big part of it. Even though she was great, probably the best girl I've ever dated, I wasn't really that physically attracted to her. I can't really put my finger on why. I just wasn't.

She did not want to get married, she did not believe in monogamy, she did not want to be exclusive, the sex was bad for both of you, and you weren't attracted to her. She kept out of touch with you for weeks. Did I get it all?

Why do you even care what happened to her? It sounds like you had as much of a relationship as the two of us do.

'but at the same time she didn't want the label of a relationship'

There is your answer

She got what she wanted and now has to deal with it

pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:

I'm reading that very little if anything was clear and there were incompatibilities. That's a good enough reason to quit it.

Why do you feel bad for just leaving it? What would you hope to resolve by contacting her? Maybe she's moved on?

And now for the really important stuff:

This thread is useless without pictures.

What's your workout schedule? PR's? Mileage? Is she faster than you?

I'd guess you have a colorful past with a Mom that wasn't the best parent given all the uncertainty in your posts.

I'm not trying to get back with her. I just want to be on good terms and for things to not be awkward if/when we bump into each other.

Care to elaborate about the mother thing? I'm genuinely curious what would make you say that.

yirp wrote:

You're totally off the mark. I was the one who was investing into the relationship and wanting it to be something legitimate. She was the one who kept pulling back and made it clear she didn't want anything serious. Because I really liked her, this bothered me, and I started pulling back myself because I felt like I cared much more about the relationship than she did. I ended up pulling back almost completely, but that was only after about 3 months.

Please leave the poor girl alone.

She is much better off without you.

yirp wrote:

marriage is actually quite common to talk about early in a relationship. Not marriage with the person you're dating; just marriage in general and what you both think of it. It's part of getting to know the other person and what they want out of life.

Right?

Getting to know her, by creating distance and not talking to her.

Asking the right questions early on helps you get to know each other.

At a singles bar I was chatting up a potential. She had one of those giant shoulder bag purse things. I asked if she just had some of her sex toys or all of them in her bag. She said some. I said not to worry I have a bunch at home. I said dinner first? She said Nope.out for a big brunch tomorrow.

Wow you're a psychopath wrote:[/

Please leave the poor girl alone.

She is much better off without you.

It's LDOPA. Yes he's a psychopath, but none of this is true. He's just messing with you because he's bored, lonely and totally messed up. Stop responding to this bs.