There once was an elf with a pollen reaction.
It made him so sickly that his feet got no traction.
So Alberto lifted his shirt,
Then gave him four squirts,
And prayed for no WADA infraction.
There once was an elf with a pollen reaction.
It made him so sickly that his feet got no traction.
So Alberto lifted his shirt,
Then gave him four squirts,
And prayed for no WADA infraction.
There once was a guy called mo bot
he didn't know if he had asthma or not not
so he trained with the Ruppy
who is Salazars puppy
and got gels and TUE's for the lot.
NOPers never a drug test did fail
They were taking just legal Alpha Male
Now stop the witch hunt
You libelous runt
Or we'll eventually see you in jail
There once was A Duck who tried
To follow Alberto's doping guide.
No need to get juiced,
just take Testoboost.
And your NOP hardon will be Rupp Certified.
There once was a Teddington tester
Ringing the bell of a jester
Who emerged from the shower
After more than an hour
As clean as the streets of Manchester.
There was a rich guy named Phil Knight
Who hired runners with various plights
"Hey, Mo you won't lose
If you use Testoboost."
Said Al-Sal to the muslim one night.
Alberto thinks Galen's a dream
The most valuable guy on the team
He's aided by juice,
teenage Testoboost,
and a liberal application of cream.
There once was a campus called Nike
Where massage oil came kind of spikey
The guys were all sick
And the coach was a dick
Who could DQ you for wounding his psyche.
Salazar was a man with a dream
of an all-american team
But thyroid was slow
and Salazar did know
That he needed testosterone cream
If Alberto's a man of his word
Steve Magness is really a turd
But Adam and Kara
Have screwed up Mo Farah
With 17 folks who concurred
"What cheaters," the haters would grunt
and they launched a massive witch hunt
Of thyroids and boost
their anger seduced
but in truth they were just being a ... runt
I think I like the limericks better than the haikus
The man with the therapeutic exemption
Received a surprising preemption
He was on the hot seat
as they called him a cheat
Now he's in search of redemption
For Farah to regain composure
This story will need the right closure
Alberto must talk
Or Farah will walk
And Levins will feel like a hoser
Galen was such a great find
Al thought "out of sight, out of mind"
So he rubbed in the cream
They were living the dream
Until Kara and company whined
NOP plays fast with the rules
Just likely every pro club, you fools
Doping news gives the brojos b0ners
And on LRC they're finally not loners
But their b0ners are still pretty small. Like really they're not very big. Definitely below average. Possibly could be mistaken for middle schoolers. Just really shockingly slight genitalia.
Rupp was doing a Lance imitation
but WADA's statute of limitations
says the elf can't be banned
his medals will stand
to both of the BroJos' frustration
They all have accused him of juicing
and probably got tired of losing
the wins by the duck
weren't skill or dumb luck
but a result of some sly testoboosting
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who became an Oregon Duckit
Bill pissed on his leg
till he laid a duck egg
And the dope old Bill gave him, he took it
I'm just some bloke from UK
Who reads words different than you say
You put "Nikey" I saw "nike"
But then I worked it out you little tyke
Now I'm off to watch some guys on a bike.
Emma Coburn to miss Olympic Trials after breaking ankle in Suzhou
Jakob on Oly 1500- “Walk in the park if I don’t get injured or sick”
VALBY has graduated (w/ honors) from Florida, will she go to grad school??
Congrats to Kyle Merber - Merber has left Citius for position w/ Michael Johnson's track league
2024 College Track & Field Open Coaching Positions Discussion