Seeking male perspective: what would you make of this weird/horrible dating experience?

You should have some fun with this guy...first off, talk to you friend and get her side of the story, what's the phrase you women use? sisters before misters or something like that? Anyway, you should set up a date with this guy and have your friend show up about 5 min after you arrive and then pretend to get really pissed at each other. Make a big scene, secretly tape it, and put it on youtube. But, make sure you put the link on here so we can enjoy.

There actually isn't another girl. He was much drunker than you imagined. When he saw you sober he made up that story.

hes an a$shole, which of course means youre going to go after him because women are stupid and only date even dumber men who treat them like sh!t only to turn around and find another guy of the exact same type and b!tch about it like you did on this post

^^^ post of the year, women never make the right decision and date the men who are actually smart and treat them well. whenever a nice guy admits he likes you... you run away.

My advice would be run fast, run far, don't look back.

I had a friend who did this same thing.

Dated 2 girls, stringing them along.

They were friends, when they found out, they busted him.

Odd thing, one of the girls takes him back, they get married, stay married for about 10 miserable years, filled with infidelity, lies, fights,etc.

They divorce and their live are in the crapper, as well as the problems for their kids.

See how it could turn out? Once a liar, always a liar.

Wow, more serious replies than expected. To everyone giving suggestions as to how to react and/or telling me to move on and forget about it, it's kind of a moot point now as this actually happened a little while back (long enough to where it would be kinda weird to bring it up again now anyway). I decided at the time that regardless of what the deal was it wasn't worth it to me to worry about since I wasn't super into the guy anyway and moved on. I just tend to over think things and generally want to know why things happen, so the other day I was wondering about it again and it occurred to me to put it on LetsRun.

About talking to the other girl about it, haha you would think I would but I actually didn't mention it at all...for a few reasons. One, it felt embarrassing to me and I'm pretty sure she didn't know anything about it so I figured I'd just keep it that way haha. Two, although as I said I do know her very well, I wouldn't say we're great friends or anything; it's more that she's in the same friend group as me so we end up hanging out together quite a bit but I've never really clicked with her personally, so I don't feel like gossiping over this kind of stuff with her if I don't have to. That probably sounds super catty, but it's not that we don't get along, just that she's not someone I felt like talking to about this, especially since it was embarrassing for me.

Fatal Attraction wrote:

My advice would be run fast

Of course your answer is to run fast. This is letsrun.com, this is the only acceptable thing to do. No hobbyjoggers allowed!

Learn how to describe things using less words. You are giving us a peak into your overanalytical mind and your insecurities. The situation is not that complex.

romantically retarded runner wrote:

About talking to the other girl about it, haha you would think I would but I actually didn't mention it at all...

It's understandable you didn't want to talk to her about it, but it could have helped clear up his intentions. It's a little late now though.

If she rejected him, you were a fallback and was just looking to hook up.

If she went out with him, he was trying to hook up with both of you.

If he never contacted her, he might actually be interested, but probably still was just looking for a hookup.

Thanks for the follow-up, and you don't sound like a "romantically retarded runner" by the way.

But I was a bit of a retard...I misunderstood the OP. I was thinking about this time where I saw how a guy had "double-booked" two dates in a bar on a Sunday afternoon. They were not at the same time, of course, but one gal showed up while this dude was with another gal, and I could tell it was uncomfortable from a distance. The first gal left after the second one showed up.

For some reason I was thinking your guy did the same thing, the double-booking thing. I was retarded.

So yeah, it makes sense that you wouldn't chat with the other gal about it. I mean, that one could go either way... like it might be interesting to hear if the guy contacted her, too, after meeting you, and to hear if anything happened there...

Guys who are hot and cold during the first few dates will generally be the same way 10 years into a marriage. It doesn't necessarily mean they're jerks (though they might be), but it does mean that they're not comfortable with intimacy. They'll mix comments to throw you off your guard, and then be really nice to you after. This is generally subconscious. If it isn't subconscious, then he's just trying some pickup artist tricks and he's REALLY someone to avoid.

If you find yourself suddenly preoccupied with his behavior, then you're likely the kind of person who's especially interested in intimacy. The fact that you posted this long story and question here is typical of people who very strongly seek intimacy. They try to analyze--and often rationalize--the behavior of someone who is sending mixed signals. (I'm not suggesting you're needy; it's just one kind of relationship preference.) People with more average intimacy needs will usually immediately discount someone who acts like this guy did. Walk away right now.

Also, for what it's worth, this isn't just a male/female dynamic. That's the stereotype, but it works the other way quite often too.

He is obviously just trying to get his D wet

All possible male perspectives:

1. I started reading your post but then got bored and distracted so did not finish it

2. I read it twice and can't figure out what you are complaining about or what the problem is

3. Look he is not really that into you

4. He is a loser, I would treat you like the queen you deserve to be

5. If you talked that much to him you already ruined it

6. Can you move a little to your right, you are blocking the tv sweetie

7. What are you wearing?

I don't care if you are genuine or a troll. Your generation could avoid these stupid situations by mixing in a phone conversation.

vivalarepublica wrote:

Learn how to describe things using less words. You are giving us a peak into your overanalytical mind and your insecurities. The situation is not that complex.

^this

An average guy would have summed up this situation in three lines.

Surprise! wrote:

He's in college. He's trying to hook up with both of you.

What he said.

Next?

I faked every orgasm

You obviously dig him a little bit if you are posting on this website.

I can't believe you are asking f#cking distance runners for romantic advice. How emaciated is he? How many notches were left on his Ironman watch?

Well, for one, we can definitely tell that you are a female by all of the words that you used to describe this.

A guy would have used about a third of those words, if that.

(1) He asked you out again because he is unattached and he liked you.

No need to look more deeply than that. We are shallow.

(2) He blurted out that he expected someone else because he was caught off guard and he was honest about it.

Men are pretty easy to figure out. We say what we want and rarely try to send a hidden message for you to decode.

Apparently the opposite is true with women.