Vivalarepublica wrote:
Love is a conscious choice that depends more on effort and commitment than some feeling that reigns down from an unknown corner of the universe. Yea, that feeling is important for the initial connection, but once than honeymoon period weres off, you will have to do more than live off that feeling. All that said, I cannot deny that each of us is compatible with a certain kind of person.
I've been in love. Numerous times. Yeah I suppose many are called, but few are chosen. Anyway, love has definitely been a deus ex machina revealing to me the ultimate truths of the cosmos. Should I bother trying to teach? The Churches of this nation have squandered and bungled everything, including the teaching of the Theology of Sex. The failure of the wealthiest, most well-off, leisurely and technologically-and-informationally-endowed citizens in human history, to adequately grasp and to continually struggle to understand the many aspects of human relations and Love, is one that has monumental ramifications.
How old do you think humanity is? As much as our society atomizes us and creates arbitrary competitive structures, we are all a connected organism. There is a personhood deep inside of us that we all share. Cultivating this is the key to understanding ourselves and to acting ethically in life. Just like the Brojos talk about the importance of genetics in training response, with, apparently, East Africans having genetic machinery more quickly and intensely responsive to running stimuli, so, too,
do all of us in America, in fact, have such machinery for socializing. Well, maybe not psychopaths, those with cognitive impairments, etc. But bear with me.
From an early age, our equipment is geared to process faces like crazy, to build a titanic library that no computer could imitate. We have, in built, the capacity to bond with most any one. This creates a bit of a challenge in an affluent society such as our own, with many middle class young adults who are healthy and good-looking. It has a purpose, however, to ensure the seeds of civilization and to facilitate bonding in every imaginable situation, configuration, etc.
There is such a depth to this that few, if any of us, even with the help of computer technology, could ever trace back all the steps. The Hindus and Buddhists discuss this concept in "samsara." The hard work of tracing the steps and making the discernations, in fact, is essential work.
Our love episodes should teach us about ourselves and the world. Our genetics, where we came from, what are deep values are, what our dreams are. It should create tragedy by teaching us about politics, unfairness and sex used as a weapon. It should teach us about idealism, just the same, as, like Michelangelo's Pieta, there are many metaphysical aspects to it. Humanity is an interwoven organism. Love: She should be the mother, the sister, the daughter, the lover; Mother Mary, the icon, and the humble pious meek pilgrim woman. He should be the father, the brother, the son, the lover; the servant, the teacher.
Yes, commitment and devotion is required. But this has many aspects and occurs on many levels. Mistakes might have to be made, because what man can do all the great works with perfect chaste devotion? Back and forth, is the heuristic of progress--just make sure you don't cause too much harm.
Commitment and devotion is required mentally, as well. People rush into marriage and it is true that the more homelier ideals of love provide shelter from the harshness of the world and this is, partly, a justification in and of itself. But what chivalry, what maturity, can you claim if you procrastinate and avoid the hard work? Love, lust, betrayal, politics, death... if you avoid trying to "solve" or at least meditate on these problems prior to marriage, they're going to come back and haunt you somewhere down the line.
Commitment and devotion is required physically and emotionally. First, because excellence, truth and its perception, often has the prerequisite of the observer and devotee incarnating those things him or herself. Physical conditioning, hard work and purity; devotion of to nonvulgar aesthetics.
It takes such devotion, as well, to pierce the great truths. Truth is an interconnected concept. Things are defined in terms of other things, like a network. No, I'm not talking about the dismal "foil" rhetoric. And yes, Rene Descartes epistemological discussion of infinite regress or whatever, in terms of giving a concept a definition, applies here. Circularity doesn't mean circularity--it means greater clarity and robustness. It's like statistics--you increase the sample size, you approach greater rigor.
With the help of computers, you, too, can take such a journey. The interconnectedness of truth is the reason that many people fail to grasp it. They don't work on their blindsides. They understand an idea in one domain and don't apply it in other domains. They don't see the interconnections which, once made, are obviously very important, significant and sensible.
Love fades... if you let it. If you really loved someone, and if this incarnation of Romantic Love had Great power, you would go further. Your creative juices and the destiny of your life would flow into it. You would never have a shortage of excitement, works and activities to do together. Perhaps many are called but few are chosen. Perhaps even most of those who would be considered athletic, intelligent, prosperous, pious, talented, will not be capable of doing such a thing or have had the serendipity of encountering someone in a set of circumstances which brought them such Romance. Nevertheless, the advice of mediocrity prevails in our culture and in our Churches (of all places), crowding out the dialogue of greatness. Greatness is not just idealism for the neat and fine things, but the courage to understand the infinite universe of seemingly "vulgar" things.
Remember sample size. Finding love takes work. One method is not enough. Its going to take torturous effort. Every new person might be an inadequate "teacher" whose purpose is a stepping stone to robustify your human understanding. Every time we increase the sample size, or at least, encounter bits of meaning here and there, it should inform the experiences we have already had. We should be continually growing. Miss this process and you can not hope to accomplish very much.