Disciplining a kid on team (A week before Penn) HELP

did it, did it, and did it.

Either take this kid into your house, or accept what it is are the only two options with him.

He's out there making money from what I heard. Did you guys want to hear that?

Learn to fukking read, I said you're not reaching him, not that you're not reaching out to him. In other words, you're not getting through. If you were getting through, you'd know what was going on and how to address it specifically. It's not that you're not trying at all, it's that you're not trying the right thing. But hey, you've clearly got it all figured out since you're posting to Letsrun for help. At least you made it clear right from your first post that you're more about yourself than you are your athletes, you probably wouldn't know how to run a program that is centered on the athletes instead of your ego.

You shouldn't have to "reach him" or have proper motivational methods just to get the kid to show up to practice. It's the athletes responsibility to show up or to discuss the reason that he cannot show up with the coach. Nothing more to it than that.

Depends on how much you really want him on your team.

firstyearcoach wrote:

Your right Red.. I guess showing up at his house on 3-4 occasions wasn't me reaching out to him. I guess putting a huge Penn Relays banner outside my classroom isn't motivating to these kids. I guess the fact that he is top 5 in the country in his event wasn't motivating for him. I guess driving him down to the college meet with a few other guys the other day and showing him what he could be doing in a few years isn't motivating. You have all the answers

Yep - it's all about you.

No wonder he doesn't care about running.

I would say stick to your guns. In the long run, it will make the kids respect you more. It's important to maintain your integrity as a coach.

As for the kid in question. Sure, have a heart-to-heart with him. Show him you're trying your best and that he's putting you in a bind. Tell him you want to help him reach his potential but you made the rule for a reason.

In the long run, winning a 4X800 at Penn is not going to be career changing. Also, there is absolutely no guarantee you will win Penn or even do well. You might let him run and he, or the whole team, has a bad day and what have you gained?

Your integrity of character is more important than anything else in this scenario and in all scenarios as a coach. Your leadership is what the athletes on the team will see and model their own behavior after. If you establish a set of rules and then relent and give in for any scenario that arises, then your integrity will be compromised; the kids will know it, and you'll know it.

Integrity is more important than winning a race or getting a raise.

If he heard your message before, why would he have come to practice today? He was cut, according to your ultimatum.

I think replacing him in the relay is the right move regarding Penn.

Now you have to decide how much you want to invest yourself into this other kid. When your coaching career is over, you might remember a few particular races, but you will definitely remember those kids in whose lives you really made a difference. It will be those things that make the time you spend coaching worthwhile.

There are no rules that tell you how you must proceed. An established, well respected, reputation can help you through rough spots like this where an exception to your rules is understood to be a special case rather than just you waffling. Good communication with the team and the credibility you've already established will determine whether you can bring this kid back into the fold without losing the respect of the team.

I am no Pollyanna. I know that no coach can reach every troubled kid they come across. You have to pick your battles. You only have so much energy and the kids who are doing the right things deserve to have your attention, too. However, from your description of this situation, it sounds to me that getting this kid turned around could have a big payoff for him, you, and the team in the long run. If the kids know you won't let them slide by and that you aren't going to ever give up on them, they will respond in amazing ways.

If you decide to reach out to him, keep us informed. I love a good success story.

Flog him and be done with it, then he can rejoin the team.

integrity wrote:

Your integrity of character is more important than anything else in this scenario and in all scenarios as a coach. Your leadership is what the athletes on the team will see and model their own behavior after. If you establish a set of rules and then relent and give in for any scenario that arises, then your integrity will be compromised; the kids will know it, and you'll know it.

Integrity is more important than winning a race or getting a raise.

I'm keeping an open mind about this and am confident that I am doing the right thing. Like you said, my integrity is the important issue here, not letting some stupid kid run in a track meet. To hell with him. I'll just let some other kid run, it doesn't matter to me. Now the rest of his life he can remember what I did to him, and that he was just some dumb worthless kid on MY team. Thanks for all the comments and for reaffirming my decision to sock it to the little shit head.

I find that drilling 3/8" holes in the paddle allows for better air flow, and less torque when cranking up for a big two-handed home run spank on their wise-aker...ass.

The paddle should be about 3 1/2 ft to a max of 4 ft. in length, with about a 1 1/2" handle and it should be shaped like a canoe paddle, with about 5" to 7" width at the broadest section where, the holes are.

The trick is to step into the swing, and follow through. I know you can not actually follow through, but you must vision a follow through to obtain complete and pure contact. Aim for the area where the top of the leg meets the rear end - that area stings the most.

I suggest performing this lesson in front of the team. Believe me, no one will ever defy you, answer-back, or be late to a practice - ever, ever again.

Lesson's over.

You are welcome.

I don't really know, but I would let him run and tell him you're doing it because you don't want to let down your other hard working athletes. then maybe reprimand him later.

By the wayside, is the school you coach for in PA? If so, is it possibly Abington or Cheltenham?

I find that a broken off metal car antenna works better than a paddle.

wrong...they'll hate the kid. Tell him you are benching him, if he apologizes, let him race. If he does it bench him again, and don't let him race even if he apologizes.

duude wrote:

Dude, you would be the biggest dick of a coach to do this. your reputation would suffer from missing Penn AND the consensus among the kids that you're a dick. It doesn't matter if you had this 'rule,' everyone will hate you because they'll see the high schooler's side of the story.

Please do not deny this kid and especially the other three deserving kids the wonderful chance to compete at Penn relays.

fyc, you are missing something on this. Apparently this young man has no parent(s) around and lives and forages with a grandparent. I suspect his personal and emotional problems FAR OUTWEIGH his problems with you. You don 't understand what it is like to not have parents want you etc. You could have made a big difference in this kid's life and not doing it by furthering or feathering your own nest. Did you ever consider helping him without regard to how he running would benefit you. I didn't think so.

One more ghetto kid possibly down the drain because a person who could have been a positive influence............

Exactly. Ever heard of forgiveness? This kid is a disturbed high schooler. He won't make all the right decisions. He does not seem to be in a place in which denying him extravagances will 'wake him up.'.

This isn't YOUR team. You are a coach who can maybe help some these individuals succeed. No replacement has earned a spot at Penn.

If you are a nice and/or reasonable person, this really is not a difficult decision.

Your goal as a coach is to get your team to perform as well as possible.

If you have a chance to WIN Penn Relays with this kid and no shot without him, then not allowing him to run will hurt your team's performance, both in the short-term and in the long-run.

Thus, you would not be doing your job as a coach if you do not let this kid run.

He did make a big difference in this kid's life ... he set an example by living up to his word. He is preparing this kid for real life. In real life if you dont meet your OBLIGATIONS, bad things happen. In real life, when you don't hold up your end of the deal (like showing up to practice) then bad things happen and sometimes these bad things impact those around you. Guy at work doesn't come to planning meetings, decisions are made without him, guy isnt pulling his share of the weight on the project, guy gets removed from the project team.

Night Runner wrote:

fyc, you are missing something on this. Apparently this young man has no parent(s) around and lives and forages with a grandparent. I suspect his personal and emotional problems FAR OUTWEIGH his problems with you. You don 't understand what it is like to not have parents want you etc. You could have made a big difference in this kid's life and not doing it by furthering or feathering your own nest. Did you ever consider helping him without regard to how he running would benefit you. I didn't think so.

One more ghetto kid possibly down the drain because a person who could have been a positive influence............

This is the same as begging kids to stay in school to graduate. HS these days is no better than picking up your feet and going through the motions, then someone shoves a piece of paper in one hand and shakes the other and you are done.