Words that usually mean the opposite when they are used

"Not too" It should mean to an extreme level but it usually means not at all. Not too smart, Not too pretty, Not too fast.

"Democratic" and "party".

"nice thread"

"Bad"

Not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good.

"I accept responsibility"

If you really think you should accept responsiblity because you did something wrong then you would say I was mistaken, or I lied, or I was wrong.

Otherwise you might be implying someone under you messed up but you have such great character that you protect them and accept responsibilty because you're the boss.

Its a BS statement that means nothing.

Let me add one more that drives me nuts when I hear teachers or administrators use it.

"You son Billy is just a neat kid"......A NEAT KID! What the hell does that mean? If that's the only thing they can think of that's good about your kid then beleive me he is not neat. Most likely he is a pain in the ass and they can't think of anything else to say.

Catholic boy wrote:

"I accept responsibility"

If you really think you should accept responsiblity because you did something wrong then you would say I was mistaken, or I lied, or I was wrong.

Otherwise you might be implying someone under you messed up but you have such great character that you protect them and accept responsibilty because you're the boss.

Its a BS statement that means nothing.

In the same vain is "I apologize" if you are really sorry - you just say sorry.

True or the really lame, "I would like to apologize" or "I regret if anyone was offended by what I did"

My wife and I use that all the time when we're shopping together...

"I'm sorry that you feel that way."

funny

She's awesome. I am completely serious. But we are married...

"No offense, BUT" followed by an offensive statement

OR

"I'm so nauseous" (Nauseous actually means disgusting/noxious...the expression people are looking for is "I feel nauseated".)

Whenever someone says, "I know this makes me look like a jerk (or ass, or bitch), but..."

They mean, "I am a jerk (or ass or bitch) and..."

haha

Had a great old teammate who happened to like to complain so he started off every sentence with "I ain't one to bitch but..." It made his complaining tolerable and funny.

People saying they´re heterosexual are almost always fags in disguise.

Catholic boy wrote:

Let me add one more that drives me nuts when I hear teachers or administrators use it.

"You son Billy is just a neat kid"......A NEAT KID! What the hell does that mean? If that's the only thing they can think of that's good about your kid then beleive me he is not neat. Most likely he is a pain in the ass and they can't think of anything else to say.

You're correct on that one. We're always told to find SOMETHING nice to say at all costs. Usually to be followed by a "but..."

"Eat my ass" - usually the sayer doesn't really want that...

"With all due respect..." - they are about to show you how little they respect what you just said/did

"I don't want to pry, but..." - get ready for a REALLY intrusive question

"I don't want to sound ungrateful, but..." - usually follows someone receiving fruitcake at the holidays