engagement rings

I've had plenty of friends go through engagments... here's my 0.02...

definitely take one of her friends, this will help

-make sure you get the right color (gold/silver). Also it'll help you get an idea of good ideas over bad ideas ... (e.g. good idea: princess cut on white gold, bad idea: pear shaped on yellow gold)

- try to figure out if she would like a stone set up high, or something more inlaid. Again maybe a friend could find out.

- Is she traditional (solitaire)? more modern (three stone)? glitzy (throw in some channel set stones)?

If you can get these answers, and you stay in the right ballpark of 'her,' then it'll be hard to miss ... the ring is coming from you, so it isn't 100 percent her anyway.

As a side note, sometimes I don't want a diamond in my ring either. (1) There's something elegant about a band - (example, Mr. And Mrs. Smith - Angelina Jolie's character just had a band), (2) the diamond industry is sketchy at best, and (3)the only reason I think I want a diamond is to make my family happy - I don't wear jewellery all that much.

If the ring came from an gradparent or a family member, then I also wouldn't care what it was.

Gay people are have ruined the insitution of marriage anyway so why bother?

Don't think you have to get a diamond. Why do people all want to be the same? Why do we all buy into the idea that diamonds are a requirement of the engagement ring?

My mother had a ruby. My greatgrandma had colored glass.(Not actually suggesting this one) My grandma in-law has an opal.

My husband picked out a ring all on his own. It's beautiful becuase he picked it out. It's a blue sapphire and 8 very small diamonds set into the band. It's unique. Girls hate wearing the same clothes as another women in the same room. For me the same goes for my ring.

I never got a wedding band either. So what. We took and amazing vacation instead.

Why spend something crazy like 10k on a ring when you can get one for $300 and apply the rest of the money towards a down payment on a house.

Why spend something crazy like 10k on a ring when you can get one for $300 and apply the rest of the money towards a down payment on a house.[/quote]

Because that would make entirely too much sense. Also everyone knows that a diamond ring will make the girl happy forever.....not. with the divorce rate these days odds are the ring is just gonna get pawned off in the long run.

Go for size for your money, Noone is going to be inspecting the diamond when she is showing it off to her friends and family. They will notice the size of it though, so in my oppinion size matters.

Why? For one if you live in anywhere but hodunkville housing is too expensive and a 10k down payment won't even cover the closing costs. With the median housing price of over 700,000 where I live, if you can't afford a 10k ring and a housing payment then you probably can't afford either.

By the way, if you take her friend she'll think you are cheating on her so why not just take her and hear it from the horse’s mouth. And why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free...

Do you get the point? If your gf looks like a hourse or a cow please reconsider!

Don't listen to the "don't buy a ring b/c it's illogical" folks - you know your girlfriend better than any of these yahoos so YOU know if she wants a full blown diamond engagement ring or not. If so, I would say pay a little extra for something nice b/c even the most down to earth girl has to go through the "Let's see the ring!" orgy with every set of female friends/coworkers they have. It's just the way it is. No one wants to feel like the kid that showed up wearing imitation Jams on the first day of school in 1986. The good thing is that 1 carat is pretty much acceptable by 90% of the population and shouldn't cost you too much money. Make sure you have at least a pretty good idea of what she wants, though, as some girls see this as the final "test" of your love...."does he really know me??" If your girl is a high society lady who wants a designer band and at least 2 carats, good luck! Every guy I know who has bought such a ring for his girl (usually b/c they DEMANDED nothing less) is no longer with her.

get her input! at least on cut, it is definitely a personal preference. i know i wouldn't prefer a big diamond but simply a band with diamonds inlaid maybe, but then i'm clumsy and would be too afraid to wear it for losing the stone. just don't be outrageous, it's a symbol of your love but a bigger ring does NOT mean bigger love.

Hey Soon To Be Wed, I am in the Communications & Business Consulting business and one of our clients is a jeweler. Where are you located? I haven't read through the thread yet, but wanted to type this up before I head for dinner.

The guy I'm working with does custom designed work and magnificent work at that. He walked in the other day with a 30k Saphire...absolutely beautiful...but loves to help out guys just learning about the industry. We're putting together some "How to..." clinics for guys. How to pick out what jewelry your wife/girlfriend likes, how to find the engagement ring that will knock her socks off.

We're located in Norther Delaware - the diamond state - so if you're anywhere in the Philly-Baltimore region or want to get in touch anyways drop me an email.

petertkane@gmail.com

I could hopefully give you some more info.

Hey guy--I just got married...and personally if my guy had come up to me with the "will you marry me but I'm not getting you a ring because DeBeers has ruined the industry and commercialism has overblown the whole "A Diamond is forever" line---I would have probably said--No--because I would have realized I was living with a pompous asshat. And no, that doesn't make me a materialistic bitch either--An engagement ring isn't really about YOUR feelings about the subject--it's about the symbology of the two of you coming together... if it's important to her--just do it.

Here's my .2 cents..

1. Definitely figure out YOUR budget and don't go over--get the best quality for said budget...Size does not equal quality. You can get a shit stone that's huge or a small stone thats great. This goes for all types of stones.

2. Definitely explore other options of stones--there are a lot of options out there--some like Sapphires have a rating on the hardness scale that rivals that of diamonds--so she doesn't have to worry about chipping or cracking. Others--like an opal or pearl (not technically a "stone" but oh well) not so much--so be aware--might not be the best choice for a ring she's supposed to wear forever.

Again---try to scope out what SHE wants though...if she really likes a diamond then get her something she'll love looking at and be happy with.

3. Dude, discuss this with her. You can still surprise the hell out of her--but it never hurts to go shop a little and let her point out what she likes and dislikes...then, take a friend, a mom, a sister and go pick out the "one."

Marriage isn't a "surprise" thing. You need to start out with open lines of communication from the beginning, and talking about the possibility of marriage and even looking at rings is a good place to start.

Good luck!

I set it up so Blue Nile and this read appears any time engagement rings are listed.

Thanks everybody for their advice. It has given me lots to think about. It proves again what a great resource Letsrun is.

I'm A GIrl wrote:

Dont listen to the people saying not to buy an engagement ring.

Nobody has said that this entire thread.

Numerous people have said to not buy a diamond. That is completely different.

another girl wrote:

Hey guy--I just got married...and personally if my guy had come up to me with the "will you marry me but I'm not getting you a ring because DeBeers has ruined the industry and commercialism has overblown the whole "A Diamond is forever" line---I would have probably said--No--because I would have realized I was living with a pompous asshat. And no, that doesn't make me a materialistic bitch either--An engagement ring isn't really about YOUR feelings about the subject--it's about the symbology of the two of you coming together... if it's important to her--just do it.

Again, no one here has ever said don't buy an egagement ring. You people need to learn how to read. Also, DeBeers didn't "overblow" the diamond is forever thing, they completely invented it. What if I released a new product that was pretty but basically had no intrinsic value. Say they were called Pretty Widgets. Would you buy one at a ridiculously inflated cost? What if I started an ad campaign that said "Real men buy their wives Pretty Widgets -- one for every anniversary!" Would you go out and buy one every single anniversary just because an ad said so? Well, this brainwashing is basically what DeBeers has done.

And the topic of diamonds as an engagement present is something that needs to be discussed far before the thought of proposing enters one's mind. I have already discussed this with my girlfriend of 7 months and she understands that I won't buy her a diamond. There are a ton of other options (and she even said she would settle for something other than a ring). I will definitely buy my future wife a ring when I propose -- it just won't have any diamonds on it (with the possible exception of factory produced diamonds).

another girl wrote:

it's about the symbology of the two of you coming together... if it's important to her--just do it.

HAHA, she said symbology...i believe its ssssssymbolism

boondock saints wrote:

another girl wrote:

it's about the symbology of the two of you coming together... if it's important to her--just do it.

HAHA, she said symbology...i believe its ssssssymbolism

Strategery.

Wise guy---

I stopped reading your incredibly long response to diamonds half way through because--well. Frankly I don't care enough to go back and quote everything you say and analyze it to death. I'll just summarize and risk getting it wrong. I'm fine with having inaccuracies. However you choose to propose to your girlfriend--more power to you, and best of luck with that. I know I'm very happy with what I got, and I'm sure that this guy will make whatever decision is right for him and his girlfriend.

To Boondock---

Symbology---Noun:

1. The study of symbols

2. The use of symbols--also a synonym for symbolism

Boondock---->Asshat.

Space Lord wrote:

No one wants to feel like the kid that showed up wearing imitation Jams on the first day of school in 1986. .

sweet and nice.

lol

another girl wrote:

Symbology---Noun:

1. The study of symbols

2. The use of symbols--also a synonym for symbolism

Boondock---->Asshat.

It's okay to be wrong, and it's ok to laugh at yourself.

Definition:

Thesaurus:

similar word does not equal synonym