engagement rings

Try here

soon to be wed wrote:

I often get interesting info, unrelated to running, from this site so I thought I would ask for your advice. I am in the process of buying an engagement ring for my girlfriend. I have no idea what to look for or how to choose it. Could anybody give me any tips on things to look for how to buy it?

Don't buy a diamond. I can give you a million reasons why. Do some research on why you shouldn't buy diamonds. There's tons of information out there.

I assume you are talking about the political reasons. What about a Canadian diamond? Please tell me one or two reasons not to.

Thank you for the link

I just got married earlier this year so I did the whole shopipng thing. Fortunately my wife has a friend who is a jewler who gave us a wholesale price. He told us the basic idea is they buy a diamond, triple the price, and then discount from there. If you don't know a jewler you'll probably get ripped off. I've had friends have success on ebay as long as it comes with the proper documentation. Lots of divorcees looking to unload rings.

On another note, my dad gave my mom a cubic zirconium and she had no idea for 25 years. Then he bought her something he could afford.

Go for quality of the diamond over size. There is no point in having a huge diamond that is cloudy or littered with imperfections.

xRunner wrote:

I just got married earlier this year so I did the whole shopipng thing. Fortunately my wife has a friend who is a jewler who gave us a wholesale price. He told us the basic idea is they buy a diamond, triple the price, and then discount from there. If you don't know a jewler you'll probably get ripped off. I've had friends have success on ebay as long as it comes with the proper documentation. Lots of divorcees looking to unload rings.

On another note, my dad gave my mom a cubic zirconium and she had no idea for 25 years. Then he bought her something he could afford.

What did your Mom say when she found out that she'd been mislead for all of those years?

blue nile is great to work with, pretty good deal, b ut they are absolutely no pressure

got me wife's ring here and saved big $, I asked them more questions than a letsrun.com thread

also, get your wife what you want not what she wants

and realize the $ hemorraging has only begun, next is wedding, rehearsal dinner, house, furniture (you'll be amazed how the old furniture does not go with the new house!), baby, new car for hear and baby, baby stuff, college, your kid's wedding, your kid's drug arrest, etc. etc.

on second thought ... you should consider what you could get for $10k of hookers, get a cubic zirconium, and a handful of memories to last a lifetime

I second the blue nile idea. I got me fiance's ring there for a great price and she loves it. I did as somebody else said and went for quality over size. You can build your own ring or buy one the have already made. They will send you a GIA appraisal with the diamond you buy. I believe they also have a 30 day guarantee. Check it out. They also have just basic info on what to look for and explain what everything means.

soon to be wed wrote:

I assume you are talking about the political reasons. What about a Canadian diamond? Please tell me one or two reasons not to.

Political reasons aside (not that they're irrelevant), you're buying into an artificial tradition. Society has been brainwashed by diamond ads. "Diamonds are forever" - this false notion is why diamonds have almost no resale value whatsoever. Diamond retailers have even encouraged people to bury diamonds with the deceased owner under this notion (however it is simply to reduce the market for used diamonds). "Two months salary" - another bullshit ad saying you should waste 1/6 of your yearly salary on a rock. Why not spend it on something useful for the two of you as you begin your life together? Or at least on something that isn't akin to dumping your money in the ground (or into a monopoly). Financial troubles are one of the leading causes of divorce. Why start out your marriage already down a few grand?

Putting aside the genius marketing they've employed (it really is genius -- they've made billions selling pretty rocks), DeBeers is a monopoly. They control the majority of the world's diamond supply. The ad campaigns artificially inflate demand for diamonds. By controlling the world's diamond supply, they also reduce the supply to the market, artificially raising prices. Diamonds are no more rare than other precious stones.

Here's a great article on the topic (even though it's dated):

If those aren't reasons enough, the fact that diamonds have an artifically inflated value allows them to be traded for arms worldwide (especially in Africa) and has lately been used by al-qaeda as a commodity. Throw in the fact that many diamond mines are operated by child slaves and you have a product that I will definitely never buy. Even if you don't buy one of these slave-mined diamonds or a blood diamond, buying an artificially cost-inflated diamond allows these things to exist.

Forget rings, save some dough AND get something that she'll surely love more, one of these for each of you:

They also make "real" diamonds through some pressure process in Florida, they are Eco/humanitarian from what I've heard (admitingly not well read, heard on a talk radio show).

There is some serious shit that takes place in Africa, it has totally depreciated that country's quality of life. Plus those rocks are the least precious, and least rare stone. I believe it is debeers that has a legitimate monopoly on the diamond industry.

Another option is to buy an antique ring, with an antique diamond. You will get more for your money.

Personally, I had a ring from my grandpa and a ring from my grandma custom made into one ring. It is worth about 7 grand, but I paid 500 for the custom job.

Girls that care about getting a specific type of ring, will more than likely be a pretty material shitty person. I am sure if you ask her what she's interested and what you think you'd be suprised that she would be open to a lot of different option.

A good girl, is just stoked on you, not the ring you get her.

Good Luck.

Thanks for the good advice

funny, i almost posted this same stuff a few days ago, but decided not to. thanks for bringing it up though.

my "godfather" has a few connections with some jewlers and we're going to be able to set something up, where i'll be getting mostly everything at-cost. ask around, ask your parents if they have friends. most people know some sort of jeweler, and you can get a pretty sweet deal.

like mr. lighthall said, antique rings are the way to go. i'd love to do that in my situation, but my fam doesn't have any women's rings. i will most likely have my grandfather's ring re-sized for myself. also, titanium rings are a good option for yourself. my roommate is getting married in july, and he bought his for about $45 i think (i could be mistaken).

as far as all the politics regarding diamonds (most likely hyped up by the new movie), i really dont care. africa is screwed up, and no amount of money or humanitarian aid will ever help that continent. it's becoming just like the aids racquet that has taken the same shape as the cancer racquet. bad stuff happens to people. media/ celebrities make american middle class feel responsible. we empty our pockets to provide relief. what happens in the end? the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and life goes on.

don't worry about all the political crap. you get your girl what she wants and you love her and STAY married til death do you part. that's what counts. congrats on finding a girl, and i hope you do well with finding a ring and with your training also.

You buy a diamond engagment ring because your soon to be fiancé wants to you buy her a diamond engagment ring. Sure, it's a tradition created by the diamond industry, but is has taken hold for the past 50-100 years or so and now it's the reality.

If your girlfriend is okay with you not buying her flowers on Valentine's day, then she'll probably be okay with you not buying her a diamond engagment ring. If she gets upset with you saying Valentine's day is for Hallmark, and let's not celebrate it, then guess what?

In the end it's your choice and if you love her and she loves you then the ring is just a symbol and can be anything, a piece of string if you both agree.

If in the end you decide to buy a diamond, be smart, spend a reasonable amount of money (I would say as much as you can *afford*), and research the heck out of it. I spent probably 40 hours researching the diamond I bought for my (now) wife, and when I did the math, the amount of money I saved paid me for those 40 hours better than my full time job does. And I don't have a crappy job.

Not to mention the rock is quality, beautiful, and I can be proud of my purchase everytime someone looks at it. Because I had a budget, I got a diamond that would have sold for twice my budget in a jewelry store. I also could have gotten a diamond of the quality of my budget, but paid less.

So research. Learn the 4 Cs. But that's just the beginning. I'll tell you right now - cut is the most important. If you have a big stone with poor cut, it looks like crap, and even if the stone is small, a well cut diamond will shine and look great. You see this truth of quality also reflected in the prices, unfortunately.

Also keep in mind that you aren't buying a ring, you are buying the diamond. I recommend buying the loose stone and having it set, but beware of having the stone out of your sight at any time - get it appraised after every time it dissappears behind a jewelers doors, and never trust any but a certified independant appraiser. If you by a diamond in a setting, there is the possiblity the setting is hiding some flaws, or if it is gold, the color could be more yellow than you think.

There is a forum called diamondtalk which has a lot of knowledgable people if you want to ask questions or look for resources. There are also a lot of vendors so keep that in mind.

Lastly - get a GIA certification. Or AGS if you must, but GIA is the authority.

That'll shut her up...for a minute

If you don't buy the ring together make sure you have a friend of hers who knows her style help you out. You really need a woman's perspective to help you out.

Go together and look for "ideas." If you are thinking of buying a diamond I'm sure you have had the "I want to marry you talk." If not, make sure she is all for it and ask her well within the 30 day return policy date.

That said I'm sure she'll choose the $25,000 ring from Tiffany so good luck!

I doubt it's true, but someone was telling me that wedding rings were started by prehistoric men, when they would go raid another village and steal thier women, they would bring them back and tie them up so they wouldn't run away, after a while they'd let them go further and further, eventually they'd untie them completely, but leave a piece of string/rope tied around on of their fingers as a reminder as to who they were. Like I said probably bobkus, but it makes for a good story nonetheless.