How frequently does your girlfriend/wife get upset for no reason or have a meltdown?

Woman chiming in wrote:

Definitely crazy right before that time of the month. It really is hormones! Will cry over the tiniest thing. I always apologize right after. It kind of serves as a reminder that it is about to be that time of the month. Some months not so bad.

Now, I’m a college coach too, and I can honestly say that there are some psycho females out there. Most are like me, where they might cry over something very insignificant right before that time of the month and that’s the extent of a meltdown ... but there really are some females who are very self-centered, have demands that are unreasonable, and really are prone to constant meltdowns. I would say it’s about a 1 out of 3 ratio for the truly unruly. If you have one of those, I don’t think they will change. However, don’t give up hope because most women are not to that extreme.

Pushed to the Precipice wrote:

rtyukruru wrote:

You have described my insanely beautiful wife of 13 years to a T. This morning I woke up from a dream where I was finally telling her pretty much everything you said in this post. I do love her, but she drives me nuts. I never know what is going to set her off, but the dumbest thing puts her in a bad mood and then i'm getting bitched at. if i treated her the way she treats me it would be considered abusive. I put up with it for 2 reasons:

(a) she is smoking hot, and she loves sex. even though she spends half her life mad at me for god knows what, we still have sex 10-15 times a week. no exaggeration.

(b) we have kids, and I will never fight with her in front of them, or have a fight that will drag on until we're in their presence. I was traumatized by my parents doing this (they eventually divorced) and I will not do this to my children.

i wish you all the best.

Very interesting. Do you feel like it has been worth it? It sounds almost like your situation is kind of like having a very costly (money, time, emotional drainage, etc) prostitute for a wife (no disrespect). What happens when she ages another 10 years? Pretty much my worst fear, and I'm sure most guys relate, is ending up with kids with a woman who is a basket-case. Really doesn't matter how hot she is. That sounds like prison to me. Would appreciate hearing your thoughts a bit more.

Banana Bread wrote:

Maybe not wife or technically girlfriend but most of the time I go on a date with a girl in Starbucks she gets really upset and meltdown. She doesn't lash out on me but just general stuff. I try to be a good listener because girls like that and comfort her. Most of the time they talk about a bad situation with a friend or there ex boyfriend and how bad they are treated by people or have a horrible teacher or boss. The good thing is they compliment me afterwards and say I'm such a nice guy and deserve the best girl and I've been hugged numerous times by girls at the end of conversations. I try to cheer them up when we are gone for coffee by getting them whatever cakes and surprises they want in the coffee shop. The only issue is they never kiss me properly except on the cheeks sometimes. It was great at the start but I want more. I've been told I deserve a nice girl but why don't they want to be that girl? I once got really annoyed because I listened to a girl talk for 3 hours once in Starbucks and she hardly listened to me at all. She said I was really nice at the end and sweet and cute. I thought she could be my soulmate(in this life you have to take risks to find out and this is something I almost never do) and I leaned to kiss her but she turned it into a hug by moving her head onto my shoulder and then shaking my hand. She did send me a long text the next day complaining about her ex but I decided to ignore her. I normally never ignore girls it is other way around.

LM wrote:

So....why do you put up with this? Sounds miserable. The great sex life is nice, but it's still a HUGE chunk of the rest of your life that's being disrupted, especially if she lives with you.

It's too late now, but the best way to deal with this is early on in the relationship...just don't tolerate it. She gives you drama, you up and leave. No contact with her for a variable period of time. A few hours to a week depending on how bad it was. Then come back to talking to her. Feels weird the first time you do it, but it's unbelievable how well it works. She realizes she can lose you if she acts that way, and she also knows 100% why you did what you did.

I don't understand why guys continue to stay in relationships with women that do this, and it usually starts very early, well before you are deeply into her and committed, i.e. usually hints of it begin in the first 6 months and tends to trend upward from there.

Now, if you've been dating for a while and are quite serious, I doubt this would work. It definitely won't if you already live together. In that case, you pretty much have to accept the drama (which to me is crazy, especially at the levels you describe) or get out of there and find someone else. Certainly I would opt for the latter. Find a girl that won't give you that often, and show her that you don't tolerate it.

To be clear, this refers to drama. Not legitimate issues discusses in an adult manner. If she comes at you with harsh negative emotions that just isn't acceptable to me. It's not how adults act. I hold myself to the same standard. Criticism and suggestions delivered like an adult are absolutely a good thing, this is not some tactic to make a woman submissive. You want a good line of communication between the both of you, you just don't want, and shouldn't tolerate, drama (unless you're a person that legitimately thrives on drama, but I can't relate to you guys).