I have a HS girl who is fairly talented but now claim she hate running. Ideas?

Is running compulsory? I always believed, even at the highest levels, that it is a thing that we choose to do voluntarily.

If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't have to. Let her walk away from the sport. She may well come back to it in a few years time. If she genuinely has talent she could still have a successful career.

Remember, it's not about you and how successful your team is or isn't; it's about her being as happy and fufilled as she can be.

Akbar wrote:

She just wants you to beg her. Don't fall for it

bark

What does a guy who coached a sprinter have to do with a guy who coaches XC? You can't drop a kid to another event in XC.

lkmn wrote:

Tell her to quit and go play soccer. SERIOUSLY, if you don't like it then it's not for you at the present time.

Nah, that doesn't work like that. You have to have the technical skill which really requires you to start soccer at an early age and to keep at it. Usually what happens is that the soccer kid peaks out. When that happens, then they go to XC and T&F as both sports require very little athletic ability in terms of hand eye coordination.

Kudos to Ashaman for this GREAT example of dealing with this kind of situation!

Almost without fail, a successful performer who loses interest is experiencing some overwhelming stress somewhere in their life.

Maybe the girl, about whom this post series was started, is experiencing one of the following:

- overtraining

- overwhelmed with family experience

- overwhelmed with school

- stress from preparation for college

- stress from social relationships

- stress from poor diet

- stress from poor sleep schedule

If you can do as Ashaman did, and get to the bottom of it with her, and reduce stress in her overall system, she can likely be recovered. As you say, she is asking for help. This is where you work with her using the "5 Whys" to find out.

Note: overtraining, poor diet and sleep may be harder for her to see immediately. She may have to be cued to look in these areas. Since our general social environment is not healthy or well-informed about what is correct level of training/recovery, diet, or sleep, she may not even know. If the stressors are social, they should be immediately clear to her.

Good luck! You are a great coach to be looking deeper to find the root cause. If she is asking for help, she needs you. Short of making the mistakes others are warning you against, thank you for not letting her down!

Most posters have the right idea. Let her go, you're not a Highschool coach so that you can win championships, you're there to help them as long as they want it and hopefully give them something to love for life. Suggest she play a fun field sport, maybe she'll come back in a year

RunninAD wrote:

Most posters have the right idea. Let her go, you're not a Highschool coach so that you can win championships, you're there to help them as long as they want it and hopefully give them something to love for life. Suggest she play a fun field sport, maybe she'll come back in a year

The other fall female sports in most high schools are volleyball and soccer. Varsity soccer and varsity volleyball players are high skilled athletes. They have taken years to rise to varsity skill level. Varsity cross-country to varsity soccer or varsity volleyball rarely occurs.

RunninAD wrote: you're not a Highschool coach so that you can win championships

Actually, you are a coach to win championships. It's not your job to entertain a kid. Your job is to teach a kid that there are things bigger than themselves that require them to sacrifice their time and effort to work towards a bigger picture. There are winners and losers in life, and they need to understand working hard can overcome and make them a winner. Half the people on this thread sound like flower children and everything is peace, love and happiness. You coach a kid to learn to work through barriers, physically and mentally and work with people whom you both like and dislike, just like you will in the work environment after college. You think the kids at York didn't get yelled at, ran till they were exhausted, and had to work harder than any other school in the country? But I bet every single one of those who ran for them will say it was worth it. Imagine if everyone who ran a program did it not to instill discipline but for some liberal arts minded bs. If anything kids these days need more discipline.

Also, as another poster pointed out, what type of schools did you guys go to that you can just switch sports at the high school level on a whim? Did you guys go to schools with 200 kids? Many kids at the high school level who are starters have been playing their respective sports for 4-6 years already. You want to see talent buried? Tell a kid its a good idea to join something they have never done.

Let her do whatever the F she wants to do. "fairly talented" runners don't win championships.

Coaching Challenges wrote:

She says she has hated it for a year. So looking for some ideas to help her out. She hasn't run all summer.

It sounds more like you're looking for ways to help yourself out.

Remember an interview with Khadevis Robinson, right after his career ended. He said something to the effect that when he started, he didn’t like running.

And then somehow he changed his mind. These things can and do change over time. Hang in there and keep her in the loop.

Coaching Challenges wrote:

She says she has hated it for a year. So looking for some ideas to help her out. She hasn't run all summer.

There are people like this in every sport as well as intelligent kids that under achieve in school. If you can figure out how to motivate people to achieve their potential you could could make big bucks as a psychologist.

I flat out forced my kids to join every sport in middle school. For girls we only have XC, basketball, track, golf, tennis and softball. Turns out they've all been mediocre at everything except running and my daughter HATED it the first year. She didnt make the basketball or softball teams in high school. The 2nd year she decided to give it another go and was fine with the idea but didn't like losing. Freshman year she wanted to quit halfway through the summer as it became more regimented but the rule in our house is you finish what you started. The coach/school had already made a financial commitment with shoes and uniform for her and she'd finish out the year. She made varsity and started to love it. Now I can't stop the kid from going for a run even though I was resigned that she would have quit as soon as that season was over. All she needed was confidence in herself and a feeling of winning for her to "like" it. She'll be a junior this year and running has literally consumed MY life because everywhere we go I have to make time for her to do her workouts. Her team won state her freshman and sophomore year and she'll be the top returning runner this year. They have done so well the last 2 years we have more kids signing up for XC than ever before. I think they all want that trip and mini vacay to state finished up with a gold medal and a ring.

There are three things that are needed to be a quality runner for any length of time:

1) Talent

2) Training

3) Interest

Any lack or removal of any of those, and it's over.

You can't make her like running. It's over.

okay ill bite..

i have known many of my teamates over the years to go through phases of hating/disliking/moving away from running. in one case it was bc of an injury cycle in another it was because she couldnt meet her parents expectations and another because she felt like every race she was letting herself down. I think it is more common and less groundbreaking than you make it out to be.

I have felt very frustrated with running at times and let down to the point of wanting to quit, my friend who is still in an injury cycle never stops x training yet she hasnt raced in 3 years almost. but my other two friends both quit, i think it depends on the person and their love for running, but then again my friend and I who are still running are part of a close friend group on the team- does this girl have friends on the team. I would tell her she doesn't have to race as much- you cant understand the amount of pressure you feel in that situation to improve. sincerely another "fairly talented hs girl"

Coaching Challenges wrote:

She says she has hated it for a year. So looking for some ideas to help her out. She hasn't run all summer.

It is about her, not you. Why are you so hell bent to get her back to running?

I think it is okay to explore why she hates running just to see if it something that you can change or that you did, but she might just not like running or not having to run with structure or having to meet any expectations. I doubt that if it is something you do that she will tell you.

Leave the door open for her to return.

To be successful in this sport you must have a passion for it. A passion, not an obsession. However, when you come across kids like this, the majority of the time it is a control issue. Ask why she is there. Make sure she is in control.

Since your daughter won’t make a living as s professional runner and is unlikely to perform at her best or get a scholarship, focus on what will help her to succeed in life. She should focus on academics and other passions. Of course exercise is important, she can join another sport or go for walks, join a hip hop dance class, or anything that inspires her. Teen girls go through a lot of hormonal changes and often feel sluggish and lethargic in high school. It’s sad that she took a year to confess how miserable she is. Maybe you care too much about her running. Back off and let her discover who and what she wants to be.