Alpha Papa wrote:
I met the chairman of Kent AC once. He was preparing a speech for their AGM. I gave him the following advice:
If you’re ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say “My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I’m late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said ‘I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.’” Straight away you’ve got them by the jaffas
That's quite unusual that you should say that, but I believe the very same chairman of Kent AC once gave me advice on how he went about selecting his team for an upcoming XC meet (most likely in a county that most definitely ISN'T Kent [much to the ire of some posters round here]).
First of all, he told me he'd select John Gilbert (2:20:19 finisher in London; a solid bet), but after that (I quote) "then I’d gan looking for Peter Lighting (2nd finisher for Kent last week in London).. I’d be hovering, just doon the road from his hoose, there. And he’s see us, but I’d duck down behind the trees. And he’s thinks he’s safe, right. And he’s just about to put his key in the front door, and I’d come up from behind the hedge. “Hello, you b*stard!”. He panics, right. And he gans in the hoose. So I get the 30mm canon, and I take out the fish pond. Koi carp in there, £20 each, right. And then, I’ll just tilt the helicopter over to one side, and the machine gun bullets are chewing up the drive, right. He comes oot “Oh no! not me Triumph Stag, I’ve just had it resprayed!”. I cut it right in half, right. And then he gans “Aaarrgh!”, and he runs up on the garage roof. I say “Right, this is for you, Pete;” he goes “No, no!”. He’s beggin' us, he’s beggin' us, man. “No! Please! Don’t!”. And then I fly off to Cornwall, and just smash into the sea in a big ball of flames."
Unusual on the face of it, but those boys from Kent can run pretty darn fast.