A guy asked me if I want to grab coffee: is he implying a date? How do I gently try to confirm if it's only a friend thing?

And yet you still take the time to post on here...

confused runner chick wrote:

And yet you still take the time to post on here...

Crappy female behavior is entertaining when you recognize it for what it is.

And the winner with best troll answer is:

Double Trouble-

In the educational movies I've watched this scenario always plays out nicely. Remember, it's not gay if their dicks don't touch.

M.A.G.A...

confused runner chick wrote:

That seems rude and would make it awkward because of living in close proximity. Any other suggestions?

In that case just keep leading him on until you end up having sex with him and then explain to your bf that you didn't know what else to do.

confused runner chick wrote:

Uh I have not had coffee with the guy yet. If we do have a quick coffee, I will mention my boyfriend. Some real idiots on here.

There's definitely one who's an idiot.

theJeff wrote:

You are a troll and a dude / 10

100% right. Can’t believe this got any bites

confused runner chick wrote:

Um, no I'm not. If you are such an expert, why don't you give me a message to draft that's not rude and not presumptuous?

Just tell him you're busy, make something up. He'll keep trying, but after a few coffee date rejections will get the hint. You don't have to be rude about it or send him a detailed message.

"Sorry, can't join you this weekend. Helping my boyfriend with a couple things and got a long week ahead. Thanks!"

Just keep blowing him off without being rude. Unless a complete moron, he'll move on to greener pastures (available girls that are into startup "CEOs"). If he doesn't give up, then guess what? He's a creep who won't accept no for an answer and you can shut him down hard. Rudeness be damned.

You came on the boards for advice, we're giving it. Good luck.

confused runner chick wrote:

I was thinking of doing this. Get coffee with him, and then randomly drop in a line about my boyfriend (not forced, but just try to bring it up when relevant to the conversation). However, that does mean I have to invest some time in coffee.

Gee 5 pages and the correct answers were given on page 1. Shut it down.

OP, yes you could just do what you suggested above. Either that or drop it into text like others have suggested. This’ll be courteous if he had romantic intentions, and just another conversation point if he’s intending to network.

I’m not as skeptical as the other guys who have posted of his intentions being sexually motivated. This is coming from the perspective of someone else in startups, and people in startups really value their networking. You never know when this guy might be useful in your own startup or have a use for you in his.

Keepitsimpleyo wrote:

Why is this so difficult. "Hey, great meeting you. Just an FYI I am seeing someone."

That is the worst advice, don’t ever do this.

OP is correct in seeing this as implying false pretences. It’s also arrogant. Ruins any chances of genuine networking opportunities.

Exactly. Because he also lives in the same vicinity, I'm keeping it courteous as well and just casually dropped that I had a boyfriend without acting like I was using he was interested in romantic reasons. I apologized for being busy and said I was at and he asked if I was interested in this, and I said "Oh a little, but went because my boyfriend's friend was performing." That seemed to get the message across clearly.

1) Nobody cares that you have a boyfriend. Is your boyfriend Brad Pitt? Does he have a net worth of over $1 billion? If the answer is NO, then stfu and upgrade

2) If you're that much of an idiot that you can't understand when somebody is asking you out, then you either never get asked out often (which means you're ugly) or you have the social skills of a 5 year-old

I don't think you understand. Millennial guys these days ask you out using plausible deniability, so they never say that it's a date, it's just like "Hey do you want to hang out?" or something like this.

Live to run wrote:

Keepitsimpleyo wrote:

Why is this so difficult. "Hey, great meeting you. Just an FYI I am seeing someone."

That is the worst advice, don’t ever do this.

OP is correct in seeing this as implying false pretences. It’s also arrogant. Ruins any chances of genuine networking opportunities.

the words 'genuine' and 'networking' should never be used to together.

go sell some Consolidated Products and quite ruining other people's afternoons.

'networking' is annoying and leachy, get some help before it's too late.