Ive only known OP for 5 minutes through his 3 or so posts on this thread and I already want him to change everything about himself. Ugh.
Ive only known OP for 5 minutes through his 3 or so posts on this thread and I already want him to change everything about himself. Ugh.
If you're going to go posting on the internet, you really should learn how to do it the right way. You're welcome.
Minding My Business wrote:
most of the people who've given me problems have a history of dysfunction... I just wasn't sure how common this is. My real friends aren't like this at all.
People like that are the same way with themselves, which is why they always have problems.
I wouldn't worry about it. Just realize, that's how they are.
Minding My Business wrote:
most of the people who've given me problems have a history of dysfunction... I just wasn't sure how common this is. My real friends aren't like this at all.
Didn't your girlfriend hassle you quite a bit.
I have never been hassled anywhere near as much as you. Have I been lucky to be with different types of people than you or is there something about you that brings this on or is this a troll.
Only one of these three options can be correct.
2nd opinion wrote:
Minding My Business wrote:
most of the people who've given me problems have a history of dysfunction... I just wasn't sure how common this is. My real friends aren't like this at all.
Didn't your girlfriend hassle you quite a bit.
I have never been hassled anywhere near as much as you. Have I been lucky to be with different types of people than you or is there something about you that brings this on or is this a troll.
Only one of these three options can be correct.
I would guess that my life attracts more attention than yours does. I know that sounds arrogant, but that is the blunt truth.
comedyrelief wrote:
You are way too concerned with what other people think and are an egomaniac. People don't want to be around people who perceive themselves to be flawless. The problem with being that way is you see the flaws in others but never yourself. That is why you cannot maintain a healthy relationship. At 29 you are reaching the male biological clock. At this age most of your friends are getting married and starting meaningful lives with others. You feel left out because you are not (or to be more exact, you feel they are abandoning you rather than the truth, which is they are starting a life partnership with another). Just because someone views life differently than you doesn't mean you can't still be civil with them. You sound sad. Take a look at what you can do that would make you happier / more fulfilled. I have a brother that behaves like you do. He is intelligent (phd and dual masters), but never really learned how to relate to others (long line of jobs because he couldn't keep his ego in check and had a hard time respecting the ideas of others). Take a deeper look at yourself before blaming others.
This.
Minding My Business wrote:
2nd opinion wrote:
Didn't your girlfriend hassle you quite a bit.
I have never been hassled anywhere near as much as you. Have I been lucky to be with different types of people than you or is there something about you that brings this on or is this a troll.
Only one of these three options can be correct.
I would guess that my life attracts more attention than yours does. I know that sounds arrogant, but that is the blunt truth.
I thought it was you.
Not arrogant at all! Odd people always attract more attention.
Minding My Business wrote:
2nd opinion wrote:
Didn't your girlfriend hassle you quite a bit.
I have never been hassled anywhere near as much as you. Have I been lucky to be with different types of people than you or is there something about you that brings this on or is this a troll.
Only one of these three options can be correct.
I would guess that my life attracts more attention than yours does. I know that sounds arrogant, but that is the blunt truth.
1. You are the problem
2. You have and overinflated opinion of yourself
3. You have a low opinion of others
4. When others fail to validate (2) your ego is crushed which is made worse by (3)
5. The only way you can maintain (2) in the face of (4) is by blaming (4) on the insecurity and jealousy of others, something you can't verify, leading to more of (3) and a failure to connect with others generally.
6. The only way to break this feedback loop is to let go of (2). Listen without prejudice, realize that you are just another average person, which is ok.
I'll try and make this simple wrote:
Minding My Business wrote:
I would guess that my life attracts more attention than yours does. I know that sounds arrogant, but that is the blunt truth.
1. You are the problem
2. You have and overinflated opinion of yourself
3. You have a low opinion of others
4. When others fail to validate (2) your ego is crushed which is made worse by (3)
5. The only way you can maintain (2) in the face of (4) is by blaming (4) on the insecurity and jealousy of others, something you can't verify, leading to more of (3) and a failure to connect with others generally.
6. The only way to break this feedback loop is to let go of (2). Listen without prejudice, realize that you are just another average person, which is ok.
I give you the post of the thread award!
As you can see, your problem isn't really experienced by anyone else. Not even among the malcontents and neerdowells of letsrun. So there are two possible explanations:
1. You have a tendency to attract friends who have familiar personalities, like your mother's, which happens to be unbearably judgemental; or
2. You are unaware of ways in which you give the impression that you want advice and accolades from people around you, and you admire and surround yourself with people who have different life preferences.
One way to take the focus of yourself is to show more interest in and respect for others. Ask them questions about themselves, and say very little about yourself unless you know it will be absolutely fascinating and delightful to your friends.
Serio wrote:
As you can see, your problem isn't really experienced by anyone else. Not even among the malcontents and neerdowells of letsrun. So there are two possible explanations:
1. You have a tendency to attract friends who have familiar personalities, like your mother's, which happens to be unbearably judgemental; or
2. You are unaware of ways in which you give the impression that you want advice and accolades from people around you, and you admire and surround yourself with people who have different life preferences.
One way to take the focus of yourself is to show more interest in and respect for others. Ask them questions about themselves, and say very little about yourself unless you know it will be absolutely fascinating and delightful to your friends.
This is what I do. I never talk about myself any more because so many people have ended up spending more time criticizing my life than anything else. Even if I say just one or two sentences, they will then harass me about it for sometimes weeks.
My mother was extremely judgemental, like pathologically so, which is part of why I have no relationship with her any more.
Most of the people I've had problems with have been women, usually older women, but sometimes peers. Another story I didn't mention because I forgot involved a girl who was pretty narcissistic and who viewed herself as a genius. She got extremely angry with me and stopped talking to me after one occasion when it became clear I was much smarter than her. Our mutual friends, who knew me much better than she knew me, got me going on some topics I happen to know a lot about, and they were asking me questions and stuff, so I was answering, and I guess it all made this girl feel really dumb (even though I wasn't directing anything at her at all and was discussing science), and she stopped talking to me and got mad. This same sort of scenario has happened probably half a dozen times in my life, where I get told later on that Person X hates me now because I made him/her (usually her) feel dumb just by the things I was talking about. The trouble is, I don't MEAN to make anyone feel dumb. When I was younger, I was completely oblivious to this since I was just talking in a way that felt natural and normal to me, but after it kept happening, I realized that I need to not talk like that ever except in very rare occasions when I am with secure people who are more or less intellectual equals. Since I'm not very good at putting on a fake version of myself, I usually just try to say as little as possible.
I definitely attract people similar to my mother. I think that is hardwired in to the point I can't seem to fix it much.