What's the longest crush you've ever had?

The thing with these long term crushes is that the whole ruse is based on what you think that you remember about the person and your interactions with them during the time you developed the attraction. And it's dependent on your maturity at the time. I would never fall into the same trap because I know better and I now realize that memories are never as clear as we think they are. We remember the feeling, more than anything, and form our memories to support that feeling. Often times, who that person was or what they've become is not who you remember.

And also the fact that you probably developed this crush when you were some lonely, desperate, insecure teenager that falsely believes shacking up with some romanticized dream girl will make you happy.

For the few Letsrun non-virgins out there, Just think of the few women that you've actually plowed. You may have initially developed a crush on them. Then you actually plowed or learned their true character. Now they are memory and you don't have any glorified conceptions when thinking of them. Think your crush is any different?

So the ultimate solution is to bother your old crush, pursue a plowing, or get a firm rejection in the process. Then come back here and write about it for our entertainment.

RunSprintRun wrote:

The stories shared by Buffalo and Villanova really bring out how little time we have to do whatever it is we desire, and how regrets can haunt us when we don't live up to the opportunities before us. Thanks for sharing; lots to learn here.

It's important to not hold onto regrets and move on.

When my crush got married I went home devastated. But I've made good decisions since then and am happy. It's easy to brush things off when you're moving forward.

Case in point: I was never the kind of guy who would just walk up to a pretty girl and ask for her number. So I forced myself to do it. I once went out with the hot librarian at college because she started glancing my way and smiling while I was in there studying. Quieting my fears of rejection and just going for it was exhilarating. She turned out to be a weirdo and it didn't go anywhere.

I did the same thing with the hot employee at my gym. She blushed and gave me her number. Then when I called her she told me she was dating someone. Stupid b!tch. But it was a good experience and I have no regrets.

Then I met the hot girl who was best friends with my best friend's wife. I struck up a conversation, asked her out, and I married her 3 years later.

Interest too peaked, had to check.

Is married

Is still hot

Husband looks like the type that spends a lot of time riding 4 wheelers recreationally or thinking about riding 4 wheelers recreationally. But I'm so over her :)

Vivalarepublica wrote:

For the few Letsrun non-virgins out there, Just think of the few women that you've actually plowed. You may have initially developed a crush on them. Then you actually plowed or learned their true character. Now they are memory and you don't have any glorified conceptions when thinking of them. Think your crush is any different?

So the ultimate solution is to bother your old crush, pursue a plowing, or get a firm rejection in the process. Then come back here and write about it for our entertainment.

Lol I think we'd be friends.

RunSprintRun wrote:

The stories shared by Buffalo and Villanova really bring out how little time we have to do whatever it is we desire, and how regrets can haunt us when we don't live up to the opportunities before us. Thanks for sharing; lots to learn here.

That's one way to look at it.

The way i see it, these guys didn't act on their feelings when they should have and reached the closure that they desired. And then rationalized that they would have been happier if they did take the dive and things worked out. Which I guess is similar to what you said. Although it may not have been an opportunity; instead, a one-sided self delusion that the other person did not share. These crushes are just people that made you feel good a long time ago during a more carefree moment of your life and can distract you from pursuing relationships where you are now in life (like the OP).

Although there is some truth to idea that we only connect strongly with a few people during a few times in our lives. It happens less than we think. That why it can be so hard to let go of the people and memories that it happens with.

moose wrote:

Vivalarepublica wrote:

For the few Letsrun non-virgins out there, Just think of the few women that you've actually plowed. You may have initially developed a crush on them. Then you actually plowed or learned their true character. Now they are memory and you don't have any glorified conceptions when thinking of them. Think your crush is any different?

So the ultimate solution is to bother your old crush, pursue a plowing, or get a firm rejection in the process. Then come back here and write about it for our entertainment.

Lol I think we'd be friends.

If you view human behavior as a vehicle for your entertainment, I'm sure we could get along.

Damn, man. I think you inspired me to contact my crush. I sometimes have dreams of her and wake up feeling almost sick. I don't want to find out 10 years from now that I should have made a move.

Happy for you for attaining a happy marriage though. There is no perfect!

Vivalarepublica wrote:

The way i see it, these guys didn't act on their feelings when they should have and reached the closure that they desired. And then rationalized that they would have been happier if they did take the dive and things worked out. Which I guess is similar to what you said. Although it may not have been an opportunity; instead, a one-sided self delusion that the other person did not share. These crushes are just people that made you feel good a long time ago during a more carefree moment of your life ...

Well, Valerie and I kept in touch, off and on, over those 40 years, and I know she was and still is a good person and a lovely woman. Sure those head-over-heels 18-year-old's emotions are a big part of the sentimentality I still feel, but what feeds some little bit of regret is knowing that at least TWICE over the years, she desired, or at least was considering a life with me.

But, hey, I met and married a tall, beautiful, red-headed competitive runner whom I truly love. Smart, passionate, loving ... a great step-mom for my sons ... no REAL regrets here!

Still, I remember, as a 19-year-olds, Valerie and I were partners in photo lab ... just she and I alone in total darkness. Dang! That was wonderful torture!

1 year and 3 months, soon as I saw that Bernie Sanders bumper sticker I dropped it like it was hot.

Heartwrecked wrote:

Damn, man. I think you inspired me to contact my crush. I sometimes have dreams of her and wake up feeling almost sick. I don't want to find out 10 years from now that I should have made a move.

Indeed! You never know. Valerie later told me she wouldn't get romantically involved in college because her father was adamant that he was paying for her to get an education, NOT a husband.

Of course, I read her reluctance as, "dude, there is just no spark there for me." When we got back together a couple years after college, I was obsessed with not dampening or jeopardizing our friendship with my desire for more than that. We were in different cities by then, so we saw each other somewhat infrequently.

I used to have a crush on Wejo...I think he's one of the co-founders of this site?

48 years! HS GF! split in college,( shattered a young boys heart) I went in the Army, she got married to another dude, My mother sent me her wedding picture! (thanks Mom) I married another a wonderful woman, Hooked up with her ten years ago for coffee. Nothing going on , but she still breaks my heart!

I don't think mine ever really go completely away. They are always sort of still lingering there as part of me, like archaeological layers.

Oh boy, now I'm tempted to bust out the photo album of that summer with 19-year-old crush.

When you think about, the best case scenario of any crush is a few passionate bangs or maybe even a good relationship, so I think what you have now is a best case scenario. Odds are, it wouldn't have worked out, just been a disappointment of this person that you built up in your head.

After that one crush that caused too much regret, I learned my lesson so I wouldn't have a repeat experience. Sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn't.

But no matter how much to gnaw it over in your head, you still wonder what it would have been like to lay naked next to them in the morning sun after wake up $ex.

Yes, this is how it works if you feel any depth of emotion or have any depth of thought. A significant part of who we are and how we think now is what we have experienced in the past. We carry these people and memories with us.

Phoebe Cates, still beautiful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr3QI5GbS4o

Sartor Resartus wrote:

I don't think mine ever really go completely away. They are always sort of still lingering there as part of me, like archaeological layers.

Same. I haven't seen mine in 20 years and there's not a day that goes by where I don't think about them. We're both married, etc but I'll always wonder.

Sometimes I feel a combination of feelings that reminds me of someone I haven't seen in 10 years. Idk if it's still a crush. I tend to think of all the women I've dated as a single person, so either I address one and then the rest of them as a summed personality or I'm totally in the present in my emotions. Typically present as I'm dating a really great girl right now. Doesn't do for me to dwell.

I have this feeling with a number of girls, but the one that sticks out to me the most is from my senior year of HS, only 4 years ago as i am 21 now. There was this girl in my gym class, she was a sophomore at the time. And we got along so well, and i knew if my heart that i really liked her. but she was younger than me, and i was graduating. I know (now) she liked me back, she'd always go out of her way to talk to me during school, once one of her friends straight up walked up to me and said "____ you should talk to _____ more". I always talked myself out of the notion that she might like me, but looking back at it she definitely did. I just had no confidence in myself at that age. After that year she moved to another state and I have talked to her since. But i'm often reminded of her, and i know that there is still some feelings there for sure. I really wish i would've at least said goodbye to her before she moved away, but it was probably better i didn't as nothing will ever happen.

She was just a really cool girl, and now that i think of it i'm really close with another girl that's very similar to her. And i can't decide now if i like her or if she likes me. History repeats itself lol.

Starting year three. She's half my age, I'm happily married, she lives far away now...but she's bloody perfect.

Bent ways to deal with it I've found: cherish the feelings. At least you can still love. When you can't love anymore- that's when you are in trouble.

And the old one - just because you have a crush on someone ...doesn't mean you could live with her. Daily life is different from fantasy life.