Australian business tycoon who fiddled the books and is now going to gaol(Jail) has reportedly told his children that he "is being sent to his room".
Australian comedian has suggested that if he has been sent to his room with Micheal Jackson the result will be much the same as going to Jail.
A guy marries this virgin, and on their wedding night, he tells her "I want to make sex a comfortable thing for you. So we'll come up with a 'code' - if you want to have sex, pull my penis once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my penis a hundred times."
Q: What does a man with two left feet wear on the beach?
A: Flip-flips
What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
Q:what do you call a fish with two knees?
A: a twoknee fish.
hhahahahahaha its a tuna fish. jk tool
Two gay guys strolling down a sidewalk come across a rottweiler laying across the walk licking his balls, one gay guy says "wow, wouldn't it be great to be able to do that?" the other gay guy says "I don't know, he looks kinda mean, he might bite!"
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan (say it out loud)
Twas the night of the kings castration the royal ball was comming off. All the counts halfcounts and noaccounts were sitting around the square table slinging camel siht because in those days bullshit was unheard of..In came the King on his royal white steed..What Ho! cried the King...Asshole cried Daniel...Profanity in the court said the King and had Daniel thrown to the lions, the lions knowing Daniel scratched at his balls..the King took pity on Daniel and called him forth...woulda come in 4th but slipped on a wet lion turd and came in 5th. This pissed Daniel off and he threw the turd at the King...the King ducked and it hit the Queen"aw Siht" cried the queen and 20,000 royal subjects squatted and grunted for inn those days the Queens word was law...Again profanity in my court the King said Fcuk the queen...and 20,000 royal subjects laid on the Queen cause ya know the Kings word was law............ after this foolishness was over the Queen picked her self up dusted her self off and said If I had Balls I'd be King...and the king laughed not because he wantted to but because he had two.
Joke of the day? Teddy Mitchell
Wait thats joke of the decade
Two guys are riding the subway. both have black eyes. One guy looks at the other and says, "Hey man, how'd you get that shiner?" The other guy replies, "Well, this morning at work on the elevator the lady next to me had some funny looking boots on. So I was gonna say 'Nice Boots', but I accidentally said 'Nice Boobs'. and she slugged me. So, how did you get your black eye?"
The other man replies, "Well, this morning at breakfast I looked up from my newspaper and was gonna ask my wife to 'pass the orange juice', but instead I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you fat bitch.'"