First time I ever played spin the bottle was after I had my first gig as a college prof. Room full of half-drunk PhDs. About as much fun as it sounds.
H. Dong wrote:
And grad students playing truth or dare?
First time I ever played spin the bottle was after I had my first gig as a college prof. Room full of half-drunk PhDs. About as much fun as it sounds.
H. Dong wrote:
And grad students playing truth or dare?
TrackDot wrote:
It's lunch dude. Try and make her laugh. That's key. Don't over extend yourself with gestures and compliments.
This^^
Be chill and make her laugh. Then, down the road, if she's single, she'll remember you as the nice, funny and chill guy who wasn't creepy.
Ladder Theory
first time I played spin the bottle in was me and three girls. Fourth grade. By the time I turned 35 I'd slept with all three.
Zero chance. Or at least you damn well better proceed as if you now have zero interest.
Let me spell this out for you:
1. You are going to lunch with her as part of a professional mentorship program.
2. She has explicitly told you that she does not want to pursue a romantic relationship with you.
3. Therefore anything you say or do that could be perceived by her or outside observers as attempting to initiate a personal relationship is unprofessional at a minimum and misconduct at the maximum.
4. So the onus is on you to keep the interaction entirely professional. Don't talk about personal stuff with her.
5. Is this "fair"? Maybe, maybe not. But there is a long history of guys in academia committing sexual harassment, women/society have had enough of it, so now the standards are tightening and you do not want even a hint of that particular stench on you in today's/tomorrow's society.
6. Surely you can find other attractive women to pursue that a) haven't explicitly told you that they just want to be friends, and b) don't come with the complications of being your assigned professional mentor? I mean, from what you posted it sounds like you just met this woman and thought she was hot but don't really know her at all. Other fish in the sea, kid.
Just realized that the target of the OP's interest is the coordinator of the mentorship program, not the actual mentor he was assigned. My bad. Even so, I think everything I wrote above still applies. Also, someone who coordinates a mentorship program is likely to be well-connected, so hitting on her after she explicitly put you in the friend zone would be a great way to trash your reputation in a hurry.
I didn't even have to read your entire fvcking novel to know that you have zero chance. Why? Because you wrote an entire fvcking novel and that means that you're completely self-absorbed. You're going to sit there at lunch and bore the sh*t out of this poor girl with some lame monologue, you won't ask a single question, and she'll be dying to GTFO of there and away from you. Give up now.
A for effort , F for believability. So both of you were designated drivers but playing a game where you take shots? Fail!
macdaddy wrote:
TrackDot wrote:It's lunch dude. Try and make her laugh. That's key. Don't over extend yourself with gestures and compliments.
This^^
Be chill and make her laugh. Then, down the road, if she's single, she'll remember you as the nice, funny and chill guy who wasn't creepy.
Down the road could be next week, so yeah!
Don't get into the friend zone after lunch though.
This thread is proof that runners have become bottom of the barrel douchebags.
You won't get in her pants. You're way over thinking this. Trump even think this much about the wall. I guess you're the scientist.
zero chance for romance
Here's my guess. You are a social science researcher and your data set is the replies that we are now offering.
Good luck with your PhD -- and with finding a respectable career as a sociologist in America today.
60% chance she shows up for lunch.
Lot of people here saying you don't have a chance. I disagree, there's a chance just not right now.
It's not that she's not romantically interested in you, it's that she's already romantically interested in someone else first right now and needs to see that through. Bad timing.
What matters most is how you play this.
Keep grabbing lunches every now and then to catch up(assuming you don't blow it on the first lunch). Make her laugh, be cool and suave. NEVER text her beyond this unless she reaches out to you first. Tell her how you're doing interesting stuff with friends on weekends, etc. when you meet up so she knows you have a life. Never do anything to suggest you're pursuing her. Don't compliment her. If she asks if you are dating anyone down the line then just say you've been dating around but nothing serious.
Play the long game. If you do it right, you're golden.
JustSaiyan wrote:
Lot of people here saying you don't have a chance. I disagree, there's a chance just not right now.
It's not that she's not romantically interested in you, it's that she's already romantically interested in someone else first right now and needs to see that through. Bad timing.
What matters most is how you play this.
Keep grabbing lunches every now and then to catch up(assuming you don't blow it on the first lunch). Make her laugh, be cool and suave. NEVER text her beyond this unless she reaches out to you first. Tell her how you're doing interesting stuff with friends on weekends, etc. when you meet up so she knows you have a life. Never do anything to suggest you're pursuing her. Don't compliment her. If she asks if you are dating anyone down the line then just say you've been dating around but nothing serious.
Play the long game. If you do it right, you're golden.
Also, the fact that she agreed to meet you for lunch despite her starting to see someone means she's not ruling you out, or at the very least wants to make sure another branch is in jumping length. You need to stay just outside of jumping length so she knows it's not an easy grab.
absolute zero wrote:
I didn't even have to read your entire fvcking novel to know that you have zero chance. Why? Because you wrote an entire fvcking novel and that means that you're completely self-absorbed. You're going to sit there at lunch and bore the sh*t out of this poor girl with some lame monologue, you won't ask a single question, and she'll be dying to GTFO of there and away from you. Give up now.
Right answer.
By the time I was 25 I didn't remember a single name of any kid I was in school with from 8th grade backwards.
That's because of your autism.
Helen Keller wrote:
That's because of your autism.
I'd say dementia or Alzheimer's, but yeah that doesn't even sound possible.