A Typical American Goes to Breakfast
"I dunno where they get off, taking all those drugs", he mumbled to the man next to him at the breakfast counter as he lit his third cigarette of the morning.
"These guys are ruining baseball, goddamn it.....oh, thank you honey" he said as the waitress put the giant double mocha latte in front of him.
"I really need this get me going in the morning...you know?" he mentioned to the man next to him. "Those damn ballplayers, did you hear what Canseco said? Drugs all over. It's un-American."
"Now, hang on a sec...ahh, there they are" he said as he slipped two trim spa pills out of his pill container. "Gotta keep up with the diet, donchaknow, or the wife will get on my case.."
"Speaking of which, that's why I'm so tired this morning" he bragged as he winked to the man next to him "got a little lucky last night...I tellya what, that Viagra does wonders for me."
"Anyways, and now, they're sayin' McGwire won't make the hall...all the records are tainted, I tellya what. No way should Bonds be compared to Hank Aaron!"
"Oh well, at least I got a little last night. Yeah, usually I need a couple-a sleepin' pills to get to sleep, but not last night!"
"Waitress? Can I get a refill?"