Find a personal trainer that specializes in working with women of your wife's age and fitness level. It could be a class or private sessions depending on whichever suits your wife's personality. You could be part of it or they could go off and bond on their own. Shaming, humiliating or tricking her are solutions that are as awful as they sound. You're welcome.
stranger than fiction wrote:
2) When women feel valued and appreciated, this is a greater spark for romance than anything else.
The only ways you could believe choreplay works are if you haven't tried it or your "professional" experience comes from being a terrible marriage counselor.
Evil Legs wrote:
Below find a possible solution. Keep in mind this is a very, very intricate plan. Think setting up for a game of "Mouse Trap":
Phase 1, "Inception": You and wife are out at a park. Life is good. Trees, yes. Grass, yes. People, yes. All of the sudden, out of no where, a friend (obviously predetermined accomplice, wearing a mask of sorts) rushes to accost both you and your SO. You, being the physically fit human you are, easily deflect the attackers blows and put him in a dope ass arm bar only Zeus himself could better. After a brief struggle, you let your homie up and he runs away, stunned and definitely feeling slightly more feminine than previously. Wife, seeing your display of physical manliness, compliments you on your fighting style and general badassery. This plants the idea in her head that physical fitness is gewd and that handling random marauders with relative ease is effin gnar gnar binks. This segues nicely into the second phase of wifey weight loss plan (hereinafter "WWLP") , "The Chase".
Phase 2, "The Chase": A few weeks after you let your loving wife's loins cool down after you totally owned that punk a** jabroni at the park, you guys are on a casual stroll down a street in the nearest major city. Queue your homeboy (predetermined, yet again) to come sprinting down the street with reckless abandon and snatch up wifey's sweet a** purse you done copped for her with all your hard earned chedda. You, being the purchaser of said dope a** purse, chase after the thief with the speed of a Bill Cosby chasing a 18 year old on 'luds, and tackle said thief to the ground. After tackling your manz, you give him a what for and recover said purse. Wifey, being in a state of obvious shock and awe, sees your heroic acts and begins thinking, "Dang, could i do that if my baby daddy ain't around?" leading to Phase 3, "The Start".
Phase 3, "The Start": So after you basically showed your girl that you're the ish because you're like totally ripped and buff, she starts getting a little down on herself. You basically already showed her how rad it is to be fit as eff, and that you can like, totally pwn newbs when they try and come at ya, and she starts wondering "Ayo, how can I be like my fly a** baby daddy?" This leads nicely into Phase 4, "Fergalicious Definition".
Phase 4, "Fergalicious Definition": One day, you start banging out three hundo pushups while making waffles and wifey starts getting a little jealous. She's like, "I already done seent what being physically fit can do for my baby daddy, so how can i get there too? What if he aint around when these jive turkeys try and roll up on a homegirl in the 6?" Anyway, she starts prodding you for fitness tips and you're like okay girl, i see you tryna get up in the gym and work on your fitness, so ima help you out. You guys start a mild fitness regime with basic cardio and low-weight high rep strength training to get her body used to the new stress. This leads to Phase 5, "Chicks with Muscles are Weird"
Phase 5, "Chicks with Muscles are Weird": She likes the fitness. Homegirl done been grinding hard as a mother effer, and she starts like, totally loving this whole fitness thing. Im talking she been chugging 4 raw eggs for breakfast and giving you Paul Bunyon hand jobs just to work on her grip strength. She starts getting like WAY too buff, and you start getting a little jealous cause homegirl can now totally get into the crossfit games. So she keeps making gainz and gets way too into the whole fitness thing and you gotta step in and be like "Ayo, baby girl, remember when you was chunky and you used to love me and not da squat rack?" This then leads to Phase 6, "The End/Beginning".
Phase 6, "The End/Beginning": After she calms down on the swollness and realizes that chicks with muscles are weird, she starts looking back at pictures of you two in the old days, and suddenly gets sentimental or whatever women do, and realizes that maybe fitness and looking good isn't the only thing in the world, since she is a dope a** fly honey anyway, fit or not.
Problem solved.
FAR too much effort went in to this post for it to be left at the end of a page.
Former Fatty wrote:
It sounds like your wife is experiencing a very natural phenomenon: as we grow older, through a more sedentary lifestyle and changing metabolism, we slowly begin to gain weight. Unless you are aware of any other issues (thyroid checked?), this may be the case for her.
I know a lot of folks are making light of this, but, aside from the aesthetics, the lifestyle choices she's making will impact both your (and her) future for better or worse.
If you need any examples, look to the older folks in your life. Compare the quality of life of those who exercise versus those who do not. Those who are sedentary are invariably overweight, have issues with their knees and backs, are lethargic and generally in poor health. You may want to point this out to her. Now, that's if they don't just flat out "die". I'm guessing that some examples will be easy to come by.
The bottom line is that if you want a chance to remain active throughout your life, you have to BE active throughout your life. Sure, there are factors beyond our control, but there is no hope at all if you do nothing.
Take heart. My wife was in your situation, and she did the same thing you did. She bought me a heart rate monitor, and it sat in its packaging for at least a year and a half. Sometimes all it takes is a wakeup call, like a breathless run through an airport to catch a flight or the impression that you're actually crushing the life out of your spouse when you're on top of them. Maybe something like that will trigger a positive response from her.
For me, one of the deciding factors that drove me to action was the results from a work sponsored health assessment. When the results said "obese", it really made an impression on me. That's when I finally got off my butt and started walking, then elliptical-ing, and then running. So, maybe get her to the doctor or have her go to a health assessment and see where she can improve her health. An objective but stern warning about her health could potentially be what she needs.
Best answer by far.
MeekHubby wrote:
Ok, spare me the jokes.
Wife's a nice person, but she's never been really fit or played sports and now and that she's getting older she's gaining like a pound a month each and every year. Classic pear shape. No medical issues.
I workout every day and watch diet, but she just doesn't care any more and it's an issue for me. I bought her a FitBit for Xmas and it's still in the box it came in.
Suggestions?
Start The War.
You could be saving her life in the process.
Send her a link to a random LRC thread, anything you want.
A simple email that says:
"I don't even know why I get on this site"
http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=7145547
(the Are ties going out of stile? thread)
A few days later another link:
"these crazy people have nothing better to do than to read race results to catch slow cheaters"
http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=7136378
(the I think I may have found ANOTHER Serial Cheater thread)
Repeat the above once or twice with some interesting or funny threads, enough to make her used to getting them, and kinda get the culture of LRC.
Then....... link this thread. Claiming it's funny, crazy, cruel or whatever guise you think she'd buy:
"some of these guys are ruthless, lol. Like this guy said, Why not suggest that she walks two miles every morning and then another two miles every evening? By the end of the week her fat ass will be 28 miles away. Harsh but pretty funny."
http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=7141766
You will need to email lrc and have them edit the thread to remove any mention of the fitbit you bought for Christmas. Other than that the post is generic enough that it could be anyone, she won't suspect you. She might think you are trying to give her a hint, easy enough to deflect and deny claiming you just thought it was interesting or whatever.
Oh been there too . My wife's an x athlete we have kids and she just stopped Trying. I try to hint at stuff and get her to get back in the gym but as another poster said its a lack of willpower and motivation. I think if she don't want to change she won't, it's that simple she has to wake up and decide she wants something better and wants to regain her figure. Health benefits too of course. How many dudes and chicks out there feel the same? This isn't just s chick thing guys have these same issues
If she has never really been fit or played sports, and that is REALLY important to you, then you chose poorly. We all know when people are young they can have great figures without working at it. Did she look fabulous or could you already see the writing on the wall?
How long have you been married, and do you have kids? If you have kids, you may have to savor your sweet pear as she is (you did say she's nice).
The good thing is that if she is a pear-shape, she is probably heart healthy. Fat below the waist is not quite so dangerous (she should be around a while!), so I don't believe a health assessment, as someone else recommended, would be a true motivator.
Also for women, losing weight is 70% diet. Some of my highest mileage months have been my chunkiest. We pears get hungry when we work out. When I cut my calories, I was down to 104 lbs for our Caribbean vacation, but then came home and carb-loaded for a month, and the running does nothing for me without caloric reduction.
You should indeed be honest with her. And be truthful - don't say it's all about her your concern for her health if it's really about the attractiveness. Tell her you like the way she was when you married her. Be supportive and buy her lots of lean proteins and veggies and offer to cook delicious, low cal meals. I have to say it's surprising to me that your healthy lifestyle has not rubbed off on her a bit. The fact that you are doing it should be half the battle for her.
Also maybe a reward system. For every 3 pounds she loses, you will do a chore of her choice from a list you both agreed on ahead of time.
Also, if she loses weight, tell her that you notice it. That is huge when my husband tells me he notices it - it's a real motivator. And be very appreciative which should come naturally. My husband once told me, "Thank you for working so hard to maintain your figure." I'm almost 47 - it's not as easy anymore! But it is absolutely doable.
Make sure you give her plenty of time to work out. That will mean helping around the house more to give her time. I'm a full time working Mom with young children. I fit it in. I want to be around and "able" to help with my grandchildren.
Good luck to both of you!
p.s. Don't forget for women the lower calories and protein (vs carbs) is HUGE. Don't buy snacky type carb foods! My marathon running husband does that and I eat them! I eat what I see. Keep yummy healthy food at vision level. I have lots of diet tips for women if she is ever interested.
Perhaps the best outcome for you would be "wifey" striking up a heated relathionship with the Dominos delivery guy (see every porn film plot ever) since she sees him every day, and running (ok, waddling) away with him in his 1976 Ford Pinto.
Evil Legs wrote:
Below find a possible solution. Keep in mind this is a very, very intricate plan. Think setting up for a game of "Mouse Trap":
Phase 1, "Inception": You and wife are out at a park. Life is good. Trees, yes. Grass, yes. People, yes. All of the sudden, out of no where, a friend (obviously predetermined accomplice, wearing a mask of sorts) rushes to accost both you and your SO. You, being the physically fit human you are, easily deflect the attackers blows and put him in a dope ass arm bar only Zeus himself could better. After a brief struggle, you let your homie up and he runs away, stunned and definitely feeling slightly more feminine than previously. Wife, seeing your display of physical manliness, compliments you on your fighting style and general badassery. This plants the idea in her head that physical fitness is gewd and that handling random marauders with relative ease is effin gnar gnar binks. This segues nicely into the second phase of wifey weight loss plan (hereinafter "WWLP") , "The Chase".
Phase 2, "The Chase": A few weeks after you let your loving wife's loins cool down after you totally owned that punk a** jabroni at the park, you guys are on a casual stroll down a street in the nearest major city. Queue your homeboy (predetermined, yet again) to come sprinting down the street with reckless abandon and snatch up wifey's sweet a** purse you done copped for her with all your hard earned chedda. You, being the purchaser of said dope a** purse, chase after the thief with the speed of a Bill Cosby chasing a 18 year old on 'luds, and tackle said thief to the ground. After tackling your manz, you give him a what for and recover said purse. Wifey, being in a state of obvious shock and awe, sees your heroic acts and begins thinking, "Dang, could i do that if my baby daddy ain't around?" leading to Phase 3, "The Start".
Phase 3, "The Start": So after you basically showed your girl that you're the ish because you're like totally ripped and buff, she starts getting a little down on herself. You basically already showed her how rad it is to be fit as eff, and that you can like, totally pwn newbs when they try and come at ya, and she starts wondering "Ayo, how can I be like my fly a** baby daddy?" This leads nicely into Phase 4, "Fergalicious Definition".
Phase 4, "Fergalicious Definition": One day, you start banging out three hundo pushups while making waffles and wifey starts getting a little jealous. She's like, "I already done seent what being physically fit can do for my baby daddy, so how can i get there too? What if he aint around when these jive turkeys try and roll up on a homegirl in the 6?" Anyway, she starts prodding you for fitness tips and you're like okay girl, i see you tryna get up in the gym and work on your fitness, so ima help you out. You guys start a mild fitness regime with basic cardio and low-weight high rep strength training to get her body used to the new stress. This leads to Phase 5, "Chicks with Muscles are Weird"
Phase 5, "Chicks with Muscles are Weird": She likes the fitness. Homegirl done been grinding hard as a mother effer, and she starts like, totally loving this whole fitness thing. Im talking she been chugging 4 raw eggs for breakfast and giving you Paul Bunyon hand jobs just to work on her grip strength. She starts getting like WAY too buff, and you start getting a little jealous cause homegirl can now totally get into the crossfit games. So she keeps making gainz and gets way too into the whole fitness thing and you gotta step in and be like "Ayo, baby girl, remember when you was chunky and you used to love me and not da squat rack?" This then leads to Phase 6, "The End/Beginning".
Phase 6, "The End/Beginning": After she calms down on the swollness and realizes that chicks with muscles are weird, she starts looking back at pictures of you two in the old days, and suddenly gets sentimental or whatever women do, and realizes that maybe fitness and looking good isn't the only thing in the world, since she is a dope a** fly honey anyway, fit or not.
Problem solved.
I've never been prouder of being from the 6. Talented folks here.
I'm glad my drunken ramblings can entertain the masses. (bows)
MeekHubby wrote:
Ok, spare me the jokes.
Wife's a nice person, but she's never been really fit or played sports and now and that she's getting older she's gaining like a pound a month each and every year. Classic pear shape. No medical issues.
I workout every day and watch diet, but she just doesn't care any more and it's an issue for me. I bought her a FitBit for Xmas and it's still in the box it came in.
Suggestions?
Truthfully, any man who comes up with the answer to this question will be put on Mt Rushmore.
TrackCoach wrote:
MeekHubby wrote:Ok, spare me the jokes.
Wife's a nice person, but she's never been really fit or played sports and now and that she's getting older she's gaining like a pound a month each and every year. Classic pear shape. No medical issues.
I workout every day and watch diet, but she just doesn't care any more and it's an issue for me. I bought her a FitBit for Xmas and it's still in the box it came in.
Suggestions?
Truthfully, any man who comes up with the answer to this question will be put on Mt Rushmore.
POD / POY
What's her mom look like? Heavy? Any health problems?
I got my wife to start exercising when the mother in law stopped visiting because she can't handle stairs (there are only two stairs to get in my front or back doors).
I pointed out that will be her in 30 years if she doesn't get more active.
Your Mother in Law wrote:
What's her mom look like? Heavy? Any health problems?
I got my wife to start exercising when the mother in law stopped visiting because she can't handle stairs (there are only two stairs to get in my front or back doors).I pointed out that will be her in 30 years if she doesn't get more active.
ouch, didn't even think about the mobility issue in the future. And honest to gawd, she's way more attractive than your average Walmart queen without even trying. But I read the stats on obesity and cringe:
a WHO-backed study found that obesity in men has more than trebled from 3.2 percent in 1975, to 10.8 percent in 2014. In women, it has more than doubled from 6.4 to 14.9 percent. Graphs show that the process is accelerating since the turn of the millennium, and by 2025, 18 percent of men and 21 percent of women will be obese.
No more Ben&Jerry's in my house, those bass-tudds are out to kill us all.
MeekHubby wrote:
No more Ben&Jerry's in my house, those bass-tudds are out to kill us all.
I don't know about this. It seems like you got some stuff going on that probably interacts with her stuff.
If there are kids in the picture, how much are you pitching in when you aren't working out?
Does she work?
What is her comfort level with cleanliness and order in the house? Is it being met?
What are her priorities?
I'm not 100% convinced the problem is all her.
Be honest with her and tell her the truth.
Tell her she's fat wrote:
Be honest with her and tell her the truth.
What did her last medical check-up indicate: cholesterol, BP, etc?
If her doctor talked about her unhealthy weight gain, then you need to stop being a wuss and confront this issue head on. Sit your wife down and tell her that you're concerned about her health and that she needs to lose weight. Do it now.