Asked For Father's Blessing To Propose, He said...

sddsgasgddfs wrote:

Popful Mail wrote:

Why the hell do you need a "father's blessing"? Are you both consenting adults? Is this the Victorian Era?

Grow up. If you two want to get married, do it.

QFE

Of course, I'm not engaged or married.

...or even had a girlfriend. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever even spoken to an adult before, let alone asked a man for his permission. What was it like?

Conundrum wrote:

Listen, you went through the traditional approach now forget it. Don't bring it up to him again.

"Hypothetically" discuss the process with your bride to be. Then when you get the message to go ahead from her, plan your moment and surprise her. Forget the old man but don't hold it against him.

(I have one question......she's not a teenager or something like like is she?)

[quote]NYU Runn3r wrote:

[quote]key take home message wrote:

[quote]NYU Runn3r wrote:. We actually live together. .

She's in her mid 20's.

So now here's the question. If he says no, do I just push back the engagement 2-3 months and not tell her about what her father said. Just do it anyway but give it some time. Then I'm sure I'll have s rough relationship with her parents going forward.

Or do I bring it up to her that her father said no. She will be shocked and I'm sure very angry at him. I have then let the surprise out of the bag and made her angry at her father in time for the holidays.

He's probably fielding multiple offers.

Wow dude.

Are you a psychopath? Since you had the decency to ask the father, I'd say no but that's a messed up response.

A father in our family did grill his potential son-in-law. They are now great friends and very tight. So maybe he just hasn't seen you at your mature, best.

Don't bring it up that her father said no during the holidays. She will resent her old man and in return it will be uncomfortable for you. Give it a couple months and see if the old man says anything. If he doesn't say anything, talk to him about it. Ask him why he feels the way he does.

It's a little concerning she is hinting around to you about getting married and you haven't dated that long. Hence, you may catch some flak from her over X-Mas if she thinks a ring is coming. Regardless, don't bring up the thing about the old man. Be the better man. If he is still a dink a couple months from now and has no legitimate reason to not marry his daughter then go ahead and tell her..

You would be potentially be marrying into a family. Make it easy on yourself. There isn't a urgent need to get engaged real soon. So give it a couple months if needed..

rojo, have you been drinking again? not sure what the falcons losing to the packers would have to do with that, but that was a kinda snippy response bro.

to the OP, give it a couple weeks, (sorry I forget, do you ahve the ring already?), if he doesn't give the blessing, just go ahead and ask her, IF YOU TRULY FEEL SHE"S THE ONE. (and only IF!). seriously, if she's the gal you really want to wake up next to in 30yrs, he WILL get over it, he'll figure out a way to live with you, and might even find a way to like you. trust me, even if he's initially pissed about it, he'll change his tune after the first year or two of hearing about how great you're treating his beloved daughter (with a beautiful little girl, I know how this is). good luck.

10/10

I mentioned this post to my wife and she told me that a top 40 song came up a couple months ago with the exact same theme.

He's trolling you.

Troll him back by sending him a pic of you banging her with the caption 'U mad?'

Conundrum wrote:

10/10

I mentioned this post to my wife and she told me that a top 40 song came up a couple months ago with the exact same theme.

I am glad I can at least amuse a few people. I will keep you all updated if/when I hear back on "where I stand."

Yeah, unless he is a jerk I'd say you probably caught him off guard and he froze up. His instinct was to buy some time so he clumsily tried to do that.

It's easy to be a Monday morning QB, but maybe you worded it wrong. Years ago my wife implied that I should talk to her dad before proposing so I did. However, I don't really like him and didn't want him to think he had any say in the matter, so I think I said something like, "I'd like to ask your daughter to marry me and wanted to let you know beforehand." That isn't exactly how I said it, but basically I told him what I was planning to do in a polite way instead of asking his permission. I'm a man, goddammit. I'm grown. I actually think he took it pretty good. Asked me if I'd thought it through and then joked that he hoped I knew what I was getting myself into.

One of my brother-in-laws drove to visit my parents and have a sit down conversation for a while. My parents had things they flat-out disliked about the guy, but by talking to him they were able to hear his plans for the future and could be sure he wanted the same things they did for the girl.

I think your first mistake was not including the mom at the same time if you could have and your second mistake is thinking it was going to be a simple question. What the parents would probably enjoy most is if you sat down with the two of them and were completely open about your intention and you invited them to share their concerns. They may say they are worried about your job going forward, raising kids where you live, a temper you may have, whether the two of you have been dating long enough, and so on. Don't be nervous about it. It's a great opportunity to show them you can talk to them and they'll like you more for it.

I am by no means old-fashioned, but I asked my father-in-law for permission before asking my wife to marry me. It shows that you respect to the family you are marrying into. People who are married understand that this is incredibly important. He of course said yes and was overjoyed. You sound like a good guy, and so this should have been the father-in-laws response. It was not, so something is off. Either the guy is a douche, you are not as great of a guy as you are letting on, or something else is going on. I would wait a few weeks for an answer, like the other posters said, and then ask her after the holidays. Either way, not a good response from the FIL

If I wanted to marry my girlfriend, I'd do it regardless of what her parents thought. Asking their permission would be totally disingenuous. What century is this anyway?

"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of Our Lives

I see you two becoming this couple:

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=6167155

Lmfao @ proposing after dating for 1 year.

In all seriousness, that's probably the biggest mistake of your entire adult life. I'm guessing you're 22-27.

Kid, listen up. wrote:

Lmfao @ proposing after dating for 1 year.

In all seriousness, that's probably the biggest mistake of your entire adult life. I'm guessing you're 22-27.

Oooh, this is fun! Let's play the guessing game.

I'm guessing that you are too moronic to realize how asinine your guessing is.

OP, play him this song. That'll help you out.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk&autoplay=1

Nope, 28-32 range.

I'm not an idiot or a kid. I just wanted to get her parents involved because they are very important to her and I was planning on proposing while we were with them for the holidays.

24 hours and no follow up from her dad.

Rude! wrote:

OP, play him this song. That'll help you out.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk&autoplay=1

This was the song that made me wonder if this was a troll.