Five or Six wrote:
hmmmmm....she drinks 5-6 times per week and wants to romp in the hay 5-6 times per week.
I'd say you should refer to the "post-nuptial shutoff" thread and count your blessings.
OP, did you ever think you could get shutoff if she stops drinking? I'd take the action and put up with her getting obnoxious from time to time.
It sounds like she's making excuses for not trying a sober period. It may not be interfering with your kids or her job but it's interfering with you. If she's drinking the same amount as all of her friends and she's the only one getting really drunk maybe she should try eating more before she drinks.
How much is too much?
i confronted my husband on his drinking. it doesn't interfere with his life but it was becoming a habit to come home and have several beers while doing stuff after work. on the weekends, it would start at around 4:30 and we'd have wine with dinner after his beers. most of the time it isn't a problem and he wasn't abusive but sometimes, he was just no fun to be around.
one night when he came home after he was an ass the night before i told him:
1. your family has a long history with alcoholism and it is genetic, you could be headed down that path
2. your behavior changes when you drink whether or not you think it does.
3. it affects our relationships.
4. you may not be an alcoholic but you are on the continuum.
he was kind of stunned and did't respond. but he toned it down ever since.
the partner wrote:
been married 20+ years, have 4 kids ... She usually wants it 5-6 times a week
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA... (deep breath).... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
decent trolling for a 14yo, though.
the partner wrote:
I left out some details because I wanted to get a few answers first.
I am the male, been married 20+ years, have 4 kids aged 9-18. We're in our 40's. She never drank more than 1-2 x week when we dated and when the kids were little. The last 3 years she has ramped it up to 5-6 times a week. She is a very successful professional & never drinks before or during work. She never drives after drinking.
However, she weighs so little that she gets drunk off 3 glasses of wine & usually passes out after 4. After 3 glasses she starts acting real stupid. If we are in public it is very embarrassing. She occasionally picks verbal fights with others. She absolutely knows her limits but after she starts drinking she becomes oblivious to reality and those limits. I don't know why she is never hung over. I guess you would call her a functioning alcoholic.
She is a sexual dynamo regardless of the alcohol. She usually wants it 5-6 times a week, so I got that going for me. Whenever the subject of drinking comes up, she says she can stop whenever she wants & it doesn't hurt anybody. Thus, the question, at what point do I say, the hell with it?
Have you told her that you don't like her behavior when she's drinking?
My wife told me I become argumentative when I drink & she wanted me to quit drinking. I realized I could either change my behavior & continue drinking, or quit drinking. So I just shut my mouth when I'm drinking & it's all good now.
Your spouse can change her behavior if she wants, unless she's really drunk, but I doubt she is after 3 glasses of wine.
Life is too short to go through it sober.
I'm in a similar situation except I'm the drinker. Three kids, successful professional, make lots of money, happy household. But I used to drink six nights a week. Weekdays 3-4 drinks and sometimes even more. Friday, Saturday, Sunday 5-10 drinks and would get very drunk regularly. My wife was brutally honest with me over the course of about two years. Told me I'm too old (40) to drink that much. Told me I seem stupid when I drink and that nobody thinks it's charming. Told me I'm an alcoholic and started to constantly call me out when I'd reach for that next drink I didn't need. She was so straightforward and honest. Pissed me off, but it was really credible to me. It took a while, but I eventually realized she was right. Now I don't drink anything Monday through Thursday (cold turkey days) and I keep it around 3 on Friday, Sat and Sunday. It's enough alcohol that I don't feel deprived, but my total alcohol consumption is probably 33% of what it was. I feel much better. Relationship much better. Bottom line: be honest with her and don't let her off the hook.
She might be really drunk after 3 glasses of wine. I don't know what size they are over there, but here they're 250ml each quite commonly, so that totals 1 bottle of wine. If I drank that I'd probably be being sick 20 times the next day.
the partner wrote:
I left out some details because I wanted to get a few answers first.
I am the male, been married 20+ years, have 4 kids aged 9-18. We're in our 40's. She never drank more than 1-2 x week when we dated and when the kids were little. The last 3 years she has ramped it up to 5-6 times a week. She is a very successful professional & never drinks before or during work. She never drives after drinking.
However, she weighs so little that she gets drunk off 3 glasses of wine & usually passes out after 4. After 3 glasses she starts acting real stupid. If we are in public it is very embarrassing. She occasionally picks verbal fights with others. She absolutely knows her limits but after she starts drinking she becomes oblivious to reality and those limits. I don't know why she is never hung over. I guess you would call her a functioning alcoholic.
She is a sexual dynamo regardless of the alcohol. She usually wants it 5-6 times a week, so I got that going for me. Whenever the subject of drinking comes up, she says she can stop whenever she wants & it doesn't hurt anybody. Thus, the question, at what point do I say, the hell with it?
Pics?
the partner wrote:
At what point exactly should you leave a partner who drinks too much alcohol?
When you start to wonder if you should have left them.
on think ice wrote:
Five or Six wrote:hmmmmm....she drinks 5-6 times per week and wants to romp in the hay 5-6 times per week.
I'd say you should refer to the "post-nuptial shutoff" thread and count your blessings.
OP, did you ever think you could get shutoff if she stops drinking? I'd take the action and put up with her getting obnoxious from time to time.
She is just as horny sober as drunk. When drunk it sometimes affects her performance tho. So, if anything, the drinking actually reduces the sex.
She is hard to reason with because she has no idea how much and how quickly her personality changes after a couple drinks.
Pics?
the partner wrote:
I left out some details because I wanted to get a few answers first.
I am the male, been married 20+ years, have 4 kids aged 9-18. We're in our 40's. She never drank more than 1-2 x week when we dated and when the kids were little. The last 3 years she has ramped it up to 5-6 times a week. She is a very successful professional & never drinks before or during work. She never drives after drinking.
However, she weighs so little that she gets drunk off 3 glasses of wine & usually passes out after 4. After 3 glasses she starts acting real stupid. If we are in public it is very embarrassing. She occasionally picks verbal fights with others. She absolutely knows her limits but after she starts drinking she becomes oblivious to reality and those limits. I don't know why she is never hung over. I guess you would call her a functioning alcoholic.
She is a sexual dynamo regardless of the alcohol. She usually wants it 5-6 times a week, so I got that going for me. Whenever the subject of drinking comes up, she says she can stop whenever she wants & it doesn't hurt anybody. Thus, the question, at what point do I say, the hell with it?
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