Anyone dated a girl with a borderline personality disorder?

99% of them have personality disorders....

This is so true.. we don't care about the pain we inflict.. we planned to ghost and make you our next horror story from day 1. You were always on borrowed time just waiting till I'm board and tired of sneaking around.. it doesn't take long ill be your best friend.. give you a last goodbye sec and videos to Remember me by.. let you tuck me in and kiss me tenederly.. things that would be considered a sex crime if our geners were reversed... attack you at your weakest while twisting and exploiting all the things I made you believe in over the years of training and grooming you couldn't just be a good pet.. that's why you hurt now.. better luck next time I Don't care if it ruined you I got what I wanted at the time ..

😓 I loved you truly, I believed in you, I was so proud of you for all these things that were probably just lies. You never cared or loved me like you said you did in all the notes and letters and decorations.. those ment eveything to me, you did, knowing I had a partner who I could trust to always try and never do the things you did.. You're sick Katie even those things you said about promise letter was all lies trying to hurt me and bait me.. all those things happened at different times and you're a cold petty person for all of this. It's completely insane 😫 you ghost someone you love with then string them along while they're dying.. I lost everything now.. thanks.. for finding someone who was abused in ways you claimed to be and using that.. using everything.. you should feel ashamed but I know you don't really feel anything. The women's groups lazy house Dom shelters did the real abused women think you were a spoiled privileged little girl? Deb even laughed at that and she had your side for a lot of that.. you really are sick if you think any of that was warranted.. I'm the love of your life o but don't tell my BFF anything true about me.. but you can call my family and poison them against me? You can cause fights and drama and then exploit it in my family.. why.. who are you.. the neighbors.. the nomac bffs I never heard of until the end.. all the lies over the years all your sick attention craving.. I want to believe you tried to be better.. but I know that's just because I want some of it to be real... even though it's not.. becuse despite it all ive never loved anyone like you.. 👍 I thought you were the most open and genuine person I'd ever met and adored you for it. The things you did to me I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy you tortured me beyond emotional abuse... you nearly killed me

Run

An expert witness at the trial said Heard suffered from a borderline personality disorder, coupled with a histrionic disorder. There was no suggestion of a bipolar disorder.

For two months and it was a wild ride! The sex was incredible and often lasted 4-6 hours.

Just got out of a relationship with a girl who had mild cluster B tendencies - mood swings, selfish, impulsive, lacked accountability, perpetual victim, the whole nine yards - and yeah it's definitely not fun, and you'll put up with alot of bullsh!t from your partner only to feel like her problems and decisions were all your fault because of her ability to manipulate you. She was definitely on that spectrum but I don't know if you could categorize her into a singular disorder classification, if I had to put a label on her it would be a mild case of borderline.

Anyways, my story with a cluster B type followed a similar pattern as most others in this thread - the relationship started out amazing, the sex was great, there was constant affection ("lovebombing" if you will) and everything felt perfect. Her and I seemed perfectly compatible and she liked all the things I liked and she wanted to change her personality to what she thought I wanted. This all lasted for about a year, until I started noticing changes and her true colors began to show. She would start fights over little things and began threatening to break up if she didn't get her way on things. Then she developed a pretty nasty drinking habit which lead to a DUI. This DUI prevented her from being able to get a job (we had just graduated college and she was trying to work as an elementary school teacher) and her life was in a complete tailspin with thousands of dollars of debt. Of course, she was taking her stress out on me and picking stupid fights about everything she could and was even physically abusing our dogs when she would get really angry (of course she didn't see anything wrong with making our dogs squeal in pain because she was just disciplining them). I put up with all the drama and fighting for over a year until everything came to a head when she tried to steal $500 from me in order to pay off her debts, which I caught her on video doing. When I confronted her about this half an hour after it happened, she said "oh I forgot taking that money, it must have just been a accident I was in such a rush at the time" and then accused me of having trust and anger issues when I didn't believe that it was just an accident. I broke up her that night, and I wish I could say I completely cut ties after that point, but it took months for me to stop blaming myself and wanting her back (or at least the "ideal" version of herself that she sold me in the beginning).

My advice: seek therapy or help from someone who can help you learn to have a more secure attachment style so that you learn not fall for these types, set boundaries, etc.

This is how it is. Even after all the garbage they put you through, all the nonsense, lying, money issues, ridiculous fights, tantrums, etc, you still have some kind of love for them and long for them, a healthy version of them. It's been three years since my relationship ended with my BPD girlfriend, I've read multiple books, watched tons of videos, read through this entire thread, etc, and I still feel like part of me loves her and wishes I could be with (a healthy version of) her. She truly is a wonderful person in a lot of ways, not as terrible as some of the stories here, but she is severely damaged and refuses to address any of her issues. There's nothing you can do in a situation like that.

In my experience, dating a woman with a borderline personality disorder is par for the course.

Old thread, but found this by chance.

I met a girl at my new job (I teach at an elementary school). We both live around here and grew up in the same town, but we didn’t connect until we both got hired here. I fell for her, hard. She is absolutely gorgeous, funny, super fun to be around. In my eyes the perfect woman. She told me she had Borderline Personality Disorder. I read about it and it seemed hard to believe she had it. She came from a good family and was super nice.
Then the year went on. I got her number and talked every day. I really liked her and made it known, but she did not feel the same way about me. Of course, she took full advantage of my feelings for her and would flaunt it in my face every chance she got. Bragged about how many guys she hooked up with, told me the things (graphically) in detail of what she would do. All of this was unprovoked too, I never asked her about it. There were many days where she’d wear see through leggings and bend over in front of me to expose her underwear to me. She would still text me all the time and me being crazy for her, I responded. Took a ride with her to the store once to get some snacks and she stopped at the pharmacy to get her medication and the pill bottle had “aripiprazole” on it, which I found out later is used for both BPD and Schizophrenia. Later found out she cheated on her long term boyfriend with a guy she hooked up with on the regular. Her telling me stories of flipping out for no reason and breaking her phone into pieces or her crying over reading old letters from her ex were not common. The back and front of her phone had cracks and stuff all over it. Also told me she tried to kill herself twice and was admitted overnight to a mental hospital.
I made my feelings known to her and told her I liked her and wanted to take her out on a date and she turned me down. It hurt a lot, because I really did like her and felt a connection with her. She is without a doubt the most beautiful girl I have ever met in my entire life. She’s got a boyfriend now so I never got to experience being in a relationship with her. She still sends me snaps almost daily. I don’t respond, I’ve had enough and moved on with my life. A part of me deep down still likes her, but knowing what I know it is not worth it.

Reading this thread makes me feel like I dodged a bullet.

Old thread but one of the best ever on this site. I've already contributed, but I still think of and genuinely miss my borderline ex. She was not violent or an addict, though she clearly was still borderline.

I decided to post on this thread again because it hit me recently why it's so hard to leave these women and why it's so hard to move on, why you can still miss them some even years later in some cases. The reason is that dating a borderline girl is like dating 2 different people in the same body, one of which is basically the perfect girlfriend, and you fall head over heels in love with that person. It just so happens that there's a flipside that is unbelievably awful too. For me, it was like I was in the perfect relationship 60% of the time, a somewhat troubled one but ~okay~ one like 10-20% of the time, and the remaining amount it was like I was with an out of control psych ward patient who was both erratic and a borderline psychopath.

I still miss my ex because I miss all the good in her. It's been 5 years. I still think if I somehow could have helped her improve just enough to not be completely awful that 10-20% of the time, we'd still be together. She was completely unwilling to do any work on herself whatsoever though. Really horrible thing to go through.

Read Pia Melody's "Facing Love Codependence"

You probably have a deep seated, extreme savior complex that subconsciencely drives you to get into relationships with severely disturbed people who you think you can help.

Get out of the delusion. Most of us can barely help ourselves, let alone save a train wreck of a human being. Block and delete her number, get therapy, and work on yourself.

Run.. .. .....not fast enough....faster!

As I was reading this, I thought it was a troll post. After all of those signs, you STILL wanted to date her? Nope.

Anyway... it is funny to me that when a girl acts this way, it is considered a medical issue. If a guy acts this way, he is thrown in prison.

Never dated one, but I think my sister had BPD... growing up with her sucked, she was overly controlling and critical of everything I did, said whatever she could to tear me down, yet also she the victim of everything. If she flew into a random fit of rage, it was always someone else's fault for doing or saying something that "provoked her". Yet she always claimed she loved me so much despite not liking any part of my personality or interests. Final straw was her calling my mom truly awful things when my parents got divorced, she texted my mom calling her things like the c-word, yet went on this weird rant about how mom was "abandoning" her when my mom proceeded to cut her out of my life.

She went on to call the cops on me for a wellness check when I didn't respond to her text/calls for a couple months, yet felt it necessary to lie to the cops that I "had a history of substance abuse and could be violent". Luckily I was gone and living with the roommate who covered for me and said I was fine. At that point, just blocked all her contact info and moved on with my life. Best decision I ever made, after years of no contact I'm so much more satisfied with my life without her constant chaos and her trying to tear me down. Sometimes you can't fix people, the best thing you can do is leave and be happy with your own life

Young men take heed, there is "crazy" and then there is BPD.

I had a ten year off-and-on relationship with someone who had BPD. The last time we tried to make things work, she came to me with this official diagnosis and was candid about how much destruction she knew she had caused. I read into it and it was an exact match for what I had experienced and what a lot of people have written about here. That last time, it was, unfortunately, more extreme than I could have imagined, and as she trickle-truthed some of the awful things she had done, I ran away as fast as I could.

Compounding the problem is that BPD women seem to be more attractive than average, so not only is there much less direct accountability, but trying to talk to your friends about concerns with your girlfriend is always diffused by "... but she's HOT!"

My experience was that everything was almost always normal in a controlled environment, but when she was left alone (including, notably, going to the bathroom at a restaurant), the extreme neediness would get turned on immediately. The last time we went out together she had a 15-minute long semi-nude photo shoot in the bathroom for her OnlyFans customers. It's cool to receive an unexpected sexy picture from your girlfriend when you're 21. When you're 31 and working an office job and you're getting bombarded with hardcore porn from 10 AM to 4 PM, it's overwhelming.

In my early 20s some of the earlier manifestations of her BPD really hurt me. We then spent a long time apart. Hearing the stories from that time period from the other guys' perspectives, I got off easy. Considering how easy it is for a man to be "set up" to have his life ruined by a female he is intimate with, this is just not worth the risk. Considering how much of a risk these people are to themselves and those around them, legal conservatorships should sometimes be on the table. I can't explain how pathetic it feels to have to explain to friends/family/your boss that if "anything weird" happens, they should first consider that someone might be trying to ruin your life.

I had a friend who dated a girl with BPD. She hacked his iCloud and then spent 18 months constructing a believable "semi-private" social media profile where she posed as him and posted extreme, highly offensive content about everything from local industry people, to friends, to colleagues. He warned his employer about such a premise months ahead of time but still got fired when she pulled the trigger.

Young men take heed.