I'm interested in any stories. I think the girl I'm been dating for a year does...
I'm interested in any stories. I think the girl I'm been dating for a year does...
Yes, but the diagnosis was not known to me for quite some time. Your relationship will be a disaster. This is basically the defining characteristic of bpd.
Not to put to too fine a point on it, but things will get unimaginably worse and will never ever ever get better again.
Yes! It sucks. The life out of you. Prepare an exit.
yes, because of a fear of abandonment you will probably get 20-30 texts daily
Unfortunately .. yes. It took about a year before the signs became obvious. And by then it was too late and it was a major downward spiral from there. One day she fell down drunk and hit her head, I wasn't even there nor did I want to see her that night and I was trying to ease out of the relationship without be stalked or worse.. (She was a violent disaster when drunk. She was fine for the first 3 drinks - but the start of the 4th drink the jekyll and hyde switch would flip, it was scary as her entire facial expressions, eyes and personality would completely change). She called the police and said i beat her up. The police show up at my house and handcuff me - and since I was alone at home and had no alibi they took me to jail as she had a bruise on her head. Spent the night in jail and a year in the diversion program for something I didn't do at a place I wasn't even at. That was 12 years ago. She still texts me ( I NEVER text her back) and stalks me occasionally - it sucks. I even changed my phone number - and I ran into a friend in the neighborhood a couple of years ago - and she said she gets calls in the middle of the night from a crazy women asking for me. Turns out this woman got my old phone number reassigned to her. DUDE - F'N run as fast you can from this woman if she is exhibiting signs of BPD. These people are severely damaged goods and only care about self preservation and don'r care about anyone else - and when they do its all a big act.
kmklmk wrote:
yes, because of a fear of abandonment you will probably get 20-30 texts daily
I once received 74 phone calls in one day. Good news is that was enough to get a restraining order on her. Bad news is it took her three times being arrested for violation of a restraining order before she stayed away - until the restraining order expired a year later.
Here is why I think so...
When drinking, she has been very violent. She gets mad at me no matter what when we drink. Just like you said, her facial expressions change dramatically. She will hit me, push me, and not let me leave the house. If I just push her to get out of the way, she will fake fall and start crying. She yelllllls so loud when we fight, saying I'm not a man, and just saying the worst stuff possible.
However, she will wake up in the morning and say sorry...say she did not mean it.
One time I picked her up drunk at the bar and we started fighting. She opened up the car door going 30mph and said she was jumping. I stopped the car and she acted like I pusher her out, started crying, call her dad that I hurt her, and almost called the police.
Once she made up a story about the cops picking her up and almost giving her a DWI when I would not come get her from the bar. Turns out it was a lie when I spoke to another girl
80% of the time, she is bubbly, so amazing. However, when things are bad, THEY ARE BAD. I have honestly been scared. I have a bunch of other stories. I just wasn't sure if this was BPD or what? How do you get diagnosed? I wonder if she would be willing. She kind of knows she has some issues.
gilbertsasnfrun wrote:
I'm interested in any stories. I think the girl I'm been dating for a year does...
Borderlines, Narcissists and Histrionics share many traits making it again difficult to decide which is which.
Moreover, it's difficult to list symptoms and have you move down that list and check things off. We (you) shouldn't google diagnose her. Only a professional can.
But just a small view into that world: there's the fits of rage, drastic mood swings, the picking of fights, being set up to rival other males (exes, flirts, etc.), extreme highs and lows of the relationship and so forth.
It wasn't until I dated someone like this that I knew what it was to be in a relationship with someone disorderly and toxic. All hell broke loose one day. Dumb little witch spit on me, attempted choking me with my seat belt while I was driving, opened the passenger door while on the free way threatening to jump out, screamed in my ear and hit me repeatedly in the shoulder and face. Keep in mind I am driving...
Cause: Bringing to light that she was guilty of the same thing she was criticizing her "best" friend for.
Two hours later: She was very sorry and repeatedly told me she loved me.
-- I was so withdrawn after dropping her off that night I didn't responded to her for almost two full days. I broke up with her about a week later --
I don't know if it was Borderline Personality Disorder exactly but it was a lot more than acting like a bitch. In retrospect, she had all the traits of a cluster b type. She did some pretty wicked stuff. Don't even get me started on her mother.
You know what they say... Multiple personalities are better than none!
If she indeed has BPD, everything she has done has been fake. You're effed. Give up and walk out.
The answer for anyone who has ever dated a woman period is 'yes'
During one late night fight (her drunk, me not). I grabbed her phone because I thought she was texting a guy. She started trying wrestling me. Eventually, tearing my shirt in half off my body. I kept telling her to please relax..just let me see your phone. She starting screaming like the devil. It was so loud and she kept going. I said okay you can have the phone, please stop yelling. But she was zoned out...like in a different world. Nothing I could do and I thought neighbors would call the police. I ended up running outside with no shirt and driving away. Came back the next morning and she didn't remember much and was so sorry. Is that BPD? lol
You both sound unstable
Well, I grabbed the phone (which is not like me) because I heard she was talking to a this guy...it was true. I'm not normally like that. I like to think I'm pretty stable.
Anyone else been with a BPD girl and feel like they are becoming different themselves? All of this illogical behavior makes me go crazy. I feel like I'm becoming unstable myself. So maybe you are right.
This girl needs to get professional help. If she's not willing to do it, you need to break off the relationship. Its only a matter of time before she does something she can't apologize away the next morning, like land you with a felony charge for something you didn't do.
This thread reminds me of a Zappa song ....
Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases,
I had the unfortunate experience of being married to one. I was lucky I didn't have kids with her.
They are the most unbelievable, beautiful, pleasant people you will ever meet in the beginning. They hide their true selves so well. They sre almost like a drug to be around. You will never feel so connected to someone.
Then, at some point in the relationship, they become entirely different people. Mean, depressed, moody, critical, hateful, etc.
They take out all of their issues on you.
Mine had a boyfriend before our divorce was finalized. It is never ending cycle of misery with these people.
Get out now!!!!
My story:
I was with one for 14 years, we married had kids. First year was great, awesome sex, we were best friends.
Then things gradually changed. Drinking....violent mood swings...physical fights....horrible things as the other posters said.
An ugly divorce, horrible custody battle. She flaked said I abused kids....big investigation. she lost custody. Of couse, then she takes off with my kids against the court order. It took months to get them back. I can go on and on.
She even tried to sabatoge my realtionships. All the shyt went on for 8 effing years AFTER the damn divorce.
Now I am completely broke, my career is ruined because of all the stress. My kids also have serious mental health issues as result of all the crazy stuff, false accusations etc.
Stay away from any person like this. Very bad news....ruins lives.
People with BPD are adept at the game of emotional push and pull. They make you feel like they love you deeply and that you mean the world to them only to tear you down when they think it would hurt you the most. Then, they build you up again so they can...wait for it...tear you down. It's a constant cycle. The highs are very high and the lows are dreadfully low. Stay away.
gilbertsasnfrun wrote:
Well, I grabbed the phone (which is not like me) because I heard she was talking to a this guy...it was true. I'm not normally like that. I like to think I'm pretty stable.
Anyone else been with a BPD girl and feel like they are becoming different themselves? All of this illogical behavior makes me go crazy. I feel like I'm becoming unstable myself. So maybe you are right.
Not only do they bring out the worst in you but they can in turn make you feel as though you are the crazy one. While you're the one trying to remain collected and cool they will go on smear campaigns behind your back and sabotage your reputation in your social network. They can craft lies and twist the facts on the spot. They will convince people to take their side. Before you know it it's you unknowingly against an army of skanks and maybe even the police.
You won't listen to us but we'll all tell you. Get away and drop it cold turkey. Cut your losses and move on.