Is spanking child abuse?

get me a switch wrote:

You instill values and principles in your child consistently and more often than not they will last a lifetime. Not always but that is true regardless of parenting style.

You alleviate the risk of your child getting runover by teaching them not to run into the street. Better that you don't just let them learn this on their own.

And the principle that you're instilling in your child is that when someone you love does something you don't like, you hit them. Sounds like great parenting to me!

Amazingly, I have never hit my son and he knows not to run into the street or put his hand on a hot stove. That doesn't mean I don't discipline him, but I will never raise my hand to my son.

AP has been reinstated. He is back in in Minnesota.

Anyone who spanks a child is a freaking IDIOT.

Children's bones, joints and tissues are extremely fragile, and spanking can cause PERMANENT injury, in addition to the psychological trauma.

Do not ever spank a child.

Check out the map of states that still allow corporal punishment in schools:

http://www.businessinsider.com/19-states-still-allow-corporal-punishment-2014-3

Anyone surprised?

This debate has one major problem: People have different ideas on what spanking means.

Growing up, my mom and dad spanked me on occasion, but it was a simple slap on the butt. It was never pre-planned, which I think is important. It never hurt but it got the point across. I was never scared of my parents. I never once feared that they would hurt me.

That being said, I did have friends whose parents would "spank" them with belts and paddles. That kind of thing scared the hell out of me. But even more terrifying was that they were pre-planned, so if they got in trouble for something, they would be told that dad was going to "spank" them later that night. So all day they would be scared about the punishment. I always felt lucky that I never had to deal with that.

If everyone agreed that the definition of spanking was a slap on the clothed bottom, I think we'd have fewer arguments on here. Whipping is obviously terrible child abuse and so is shaking, yelling and grabbing limbs.

turn off the switch wrote:

And the principle that you're instilling in your child is that when someone you love does something you don't like, you hit them. Sounds like great parenting to me!

Amazingly, I have never hit my son and he knows not to run into the street or put his hand on a hot stove. That doesn't mean I don't discipline him, but I will never raise my hand to my son.

That's impossible! How could anyone possible raise a child without hitting them?

Simple question for the "It's OK to hit kids" crowd:

There is no disputing that millions of parents raise their children very well without EVER hitting them.

Why can't you?

Momma Momma wrote:

Popping a kid on the bottom at age one or two is just about the only way of teaching them that something is right or wrong.

If you disagree, please let me know what is a more effective manner of teaching?

Screaming in their face? As was mentioned earlier, you cannot reason with a toddler. That said, you do need to discipline.

You cannot "time out" a toddler, either.

So to the anti-spanking folks... here is a situation, please work it out for me:

I have a toddler who almost constantly tries to stick her fingers or tongue into the electrical outlets. We bought outlet covers but she will remove plugs that are being used. If I catch her doing this, how do I tell her it is bad without scarring her for life?

The only thing you teach a toddler by hitting them is that "if I do ____, my mommy/daddy will hurt me." Your kid will eventually learn to stop going near electrical outlets, but only because they do not want mommy/daddy to hurt them. Toddlers cannot understand why electrical outlets are dangerous. They can understand that you do not like it when they do something. Also, when you have a toddler, you actually have to be a parent and watch them all the time to make sure they are ok. My kid liked to put acorns in his mouth. He was also a biter (both mom, dad and rival toddlers). Once after a pretty good bite on my wife, she got a little physical in frustration with him in what was pretty close to a spanking. Biting actually got much worse right after that, especially with mom. But when my wife learned to be calm and just say "no biting, biting hurts", the biting went away after only a few more attempts and corrections.

turn off the switch wrote:

Check out the map of states that still allow corporal punishment in schools:

http://www.businessinsider.com/19-states-still-allow-corporal-punishment-2014-3

Anyone surprised?

Simple Questioner wrote:

Simple question for the "It's OK to hit kids" crowd:

There is no disputing that millions of parents raise their children very well without EVER hitting them.

Why can't you?

And there are millions of parent that raise their children very well WITH spankings.

Why can't you?

I got spanked. No biggie. All kids where I lived did. The mom would call you into the living room, and tell you to turn, and spank you. It didn't hurt. We hid our laughter because she would get mad if she found out it didn't hurt.

What Adrian Peterson did is on a whole different level. It was plain abuse.

Precious Roy wrote:

Once after a pretty good bite on my wife, she got a little physical in frustration with him in what was pretty close to a spanking.

Well, I hope you disciplined your wife after that! I bet she got a good spanking on her bottom!

right back at ya wrote:

Simple Questioner wrote:

Simple question for the "It's OK to hit kids" crowd:

There is no disputing that millions of parents raise their children very well without EVER hitting them.

Why can't you?

And there are millions of parent that raise their children very well WITH spankings.

Why can't you?

Only a sadist places physical abuse as the default that needs to be proven wrong.

Hitting a child is something that is done in the midst of rage and fear. Often hitting the child accomplishes the goal - you will not see the activity which frightens you. The child will learn to hide it (and many other things) from you.

That will not teach him/her to not run in the street. It will teach him/her not to do it when you are around. Big difference.

Children represent a massive obligation, which is never ending. And children screw up, all the time. Hitting them will often result in BEHAVIOUR that on the surface reduces stress for the parent but does nothing to teach the child where the actual problem is.

My 2 kids 5 & 8 have not been hit to my knowledge. They are fine. They ask me all the time if it is ok to do something. I have conversations about what they think, do they think it is risky, etc. The lines are open. My mother beat me - not spanked, but beat. My father never laid a hand on me (nor did his father on him), despite a huge temper. I always went to my father to ask advice - never my mother.

Parents hit their children because of their own fear, fatigue, and desperation for a little relief from the anxiety of parenting. Life in general is a lot easier if you just get used to the fact that you are at risk of bad things happening, and your children compound that risk.

This type of thinking is why the overwhelming majority of kids today are little animals in restaurants, airplanes, etc. All they here is "blah, blah, blah" ... my good friend has a PhD, married to a PhD ... and they have the have uncivilized little ba$tards! Daughter was sent home from school for spitting on and biting other children in the third grade. Spank her a$$!

distrunner30 wrote:

a child is small and cant defend themselves. a parent is a giant compared to a kid. if you want your kid to behave and act like an adult treat them like one. a great idea would be to actually talk to their kids...

hitting your children is lazy parenting.

Swee Tee wrote:

Real-er answer wrote:

And this isnt to say kids should not be corrected but a firm squeeze of their arm while you look them in the eye is a far better option. Go to your room, sit in the corner, the crib, etc are also far more effective.

I would argue that squeezing their arm is probably more hurtful/terrifying than a swift pat on a diapered bum.

Telling a 1 or 2 year old to go sit in their room is kind of hilarious. Are you sure you have a big family?

That why I mentioned crib also, genius. You isolate them in an age appropriate spot. And you are probably grabbing them by the arm anyway to wail away on them if you are like the average dope I see spanking his/her kid in public.

I have some breaking news for those parents that say "I never spanked and my kids are fine" Ask others if your kids are fine. Let me guess your angry pitbull doesn't bite either?

NJ Possible wrote:

right back at ya wrote:

And there are millions of parent that raise their children very well WITH spankings.

Why can't you?

Only a sadist places physical abuse as the defaul

t that needs to be proven wrong.

Only an idiot cannot tell the difference between spanking and abuse.

lol...not spanking is lazy parenting. It is much easier to do nothing than something. Time outs and telling your kid how disappointed in them you are, especially for a father, will create a child who has no respect for you or any authority you may have.

distrunner30 wrote:

a child is small and cant defend themselves. a parent is a giant compared to a kid. if you want your kid to behave and act like an adult treat them like one. a great idea would be to actually talk to their kids...

hitting your children is lazy parenting.