Should you wait until marriage to have sex?

You obviously haven't gotten any yet.

Not only am I waiting until marraige before sex, I am waiting until my wife and I have a child together.

Umm, like I said, not risking it with "tend to." Contraceptives tend to work about the same.

Let's also consider that the women in my family breed like rabbits. And an abortion is not going to weigh on my mind.

Men always talk like this before, but then the woman goes to him after the pregnancy and he says-

Billy Jean is not my lover

no

Virginia Runner wrote:

luv2run wrote:

You and your GF need to make this decision yourselves.

only sensible advice on this thread. Do what's right for you. some couples wait, some don't. Neither choice is unethical.

Depend on your definition of "unethical" no?

Realism wrote:

usually these kind of people are ultra-religious nutjobs or socially awkward ugly people looking to justify their "celibacy"/inability to get any

Don't flatter yourself, you probably are one of those socially awkward ugly people. You can be ugly and awkward and still "get some." It's called alcohol.

luv2run wrote:

You and your GF need to make this decision yourselves.

You are jumping to conclusions. First you need a gf.

coach d wrote:

luv2run wrote:

You and your GF need to make this decision yourselves.

You are jumping to conclusions. First you need a gf.

lol

Of course you should wait. Also you must only have sex for the purpose of recreation. Otherwise it's sinful.

Well, in the long run it really doesn't matter. By no later than the fifth year of marriage, if not before, you won't be having sex with the bride anymore anyway. You'll be seeking it out elsewhere by then and all of the pre-marriage frivolities will be long forgotten.

Totally up to you. I took the approach of having sex whenever it felt right, natural, and I felt ready. It happened before marriage, but if it hadn't I would be ok with it. Sex is not as scary, special, or dramatic as our society makes it out to be. It's as natural as breathing. Don't think about it too much, stress over it, or become intimidated by it. It's no big deal really. Once you grow up a little and have had sex a few times you'll laugh at how complicated you made it out to be. Live life, have fun and don't over think things too much. Life doesn't have to be complicated.

Sam...Edwards wrote:

Live life, have fun and don't over think things too much. Life doesn't have to be complicated.

Tell my fvckin boss that.

I think it is worth mentioning (as a reminder) that greater than 90% of these responses are from males in and below the high school age (even though they wouldn't admit it). Their hormones over power any actual thought processes weighing the risks and benefits. Leaving them mostly incapable of giving a well thought out response or even considering the other party involved. The lone female response is all that really matters anyway as no matter how much the man "thinks" he has the option....it's going to come down to the other party.

ecin wrote:

I think it is worth mentioning (as a reminder) that greater than 90% of these responses are from males in and below the high school age (even though they wouldn't admit it). Their hormones over power any actual thought processes weighing the risks and benefits. Leaving them mostly incapable of giving a well thought out response or even considering the other party involved. The lone female response is all that really matters anyway as no matter how much the man "thinks" he has the option....it's going to come down to the other party.

So you're telling me that the majority of LR posters are adolescents?

I disagree that it shouldn't be complicated and that it should be done when it feels right. But I disagree about it not being special. For so long, I thought men trivialize it. But after experiencing a man's reaction after having it with me, I would say they think of it as a huge, important act. They generally rethink the relationship after the first time they do it with the woman - should they cut or continue? It impacts them greatly. The woman almost becomes their claimed territory, in a way. Even if he cuts off the relationship at that point, she is still part of his territory and any guy after is moving in. It bothers him because she is his.

If the guys wants to cut it off he will say afterwards, "I'm not ready yet." What is he really saying? Sleeping with you opened up an emotional part of me that I don't want to open up yet with you. I felt it and it freaked me out because of the expectations you might have about where this is going to go now.

The woman is just feeling a strong emotional connection to you. She's not thinking those things at this point. She thinks about where the relationship is going at different times.

I *agree that it shouldn't be complicated...

The Woman wrote:

So many of my friends have gotten pregnant even when a condom was used.

Absolute BS

When used properly condoms work. Your friends are lying.

What I wrote is one of the main reasons I delay adding the physical - because the guy isn't emotionally invested and ready to be vulnerable yet. If it is too early, he cuts it off and runs. Timing in dating is important. The timing of building the base friendship, the sharing of emotional struggles of your life, the physical aspect. If it didn't matter then we'd all have secks and share our darkest, most depressing times in our life on the 1st date.

Went to two weddings this year, and both of the brides waited until marriage to have sex for religious reasons, but they are not crazy or anything. Both studied science and take a reasonable view towards evolution and various other scientific principles.

The grooms were not virgins, but I know them well and they did not sex with more than a few girls, at most. They met their wives in college, and decided they were solid enough women that they could wait. Both couples were married rather young, under 25.

The brides had that naivety and glow that you see in virgins, and an enthusiasm for little things that gets lost when serious adult topics invade too much of our lives. Not to say they were children, because they certainly could hack it as responsible adults.

I think waiting definitely spices up those first couple years of marriage that much more, and make the honeymoon that much more memorable. It also forces the couple to evaluate their mate on factors besides desire. And if they are happy with decisions and it does not hurt anybody else, then there is nothing wrong with that.

On the downside, if they did not live together before marriage and did not have sex, that could cause some serious marital problems down the road.