Survey: How many of you married men or women have/ had affairs?

happily married wrote:

Sagarin wrote:

Just remember, there's a higher court

Sorry, I don't believe in your magical fairy creatures that judge you after you die and decide if you are worthy of heaven.

You will be judged whether you believe it or not. Disbelief won't make it go away.

I always love these type of threads. Very entertaining. The levels of self righteousness combined with the near delusional naiveness can't be beat.

Do you feel self-righteous about being above all this?

happily married wrote:

Sorry, but I just don't feel the occasional BJ or HJ is cheating. This is not a weekly or monthly habit. I can count on two hands the number of experiences I've had over our 15 year marriage (and 20 year relationship). It's not a habit that is addictive because it's always been opportunistic, i.e. out of town on business (and I don't travel frequently).

The last thing I got was a HJ last January at a strip club. Sorry that I don't feel any guilt. We average sex about once a week and we both initiate.

Look, it doesn't matter what YOU think is or isn't cheating. It matters what your WIFE would think.

A previous poster said his wife is ok with him having sex outside his marriage. Sounds reasonable to me.

But you implicitly lie to your wife because you think the truth might hurt her. I'm not cool with that.

Let me say that again: You lie to your wife.

Now I know people are probably going to bash me and say that I'm discouraging people from posting, but I didn't want this thread to get started in the first place and frankly I'm disheartened that people are biting. The original poster has started other similar troll threads (obvious from the syntax of the writing) and I've found myself similarly disgusted with each of them.

someone else wrote:

happily married wrote:

Sorry, I don't believe in your magical fairy creatures that judge you after you die and decide if you are worthy of heaven.

You will be judged whether you believe it or not. Disbelief won't make it go away.

what if we're just here...and that's it? poof, next.

why are people so afraid of this idea? does it bother us that we may be no more important than a rock, a bug, a mouse, etc.?

why do you need a god to make yourself feel important, special, and like you're here for a purpose?

religion brainwashes the f' out of people like you. and people like you ride around on your high horse judging the rest of us who could give a flying f' about your warped views.

elevator wrote:

Do you feel self-righteous about being above all this?

I am most certainly above all of this. Although I don't judge people who do or don't cheat, the thought has never crossed my mind. I'd say that I am above this.

A guy who should know told me the secret to cheating was to give it to his wife twice as good/hard during cheating phases. This way, even if she finds out, she has good reason to think twice.

Of course, there's always the Eddy Murphy route (warning: lots of f-word):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA65N1MFUdY&feature=related

Anyone who would cheat on a marriage would also have no problem cheating in a race.

Therefore, cheaters are scum. No different than Kip Litton.

Plus, if you have to pay for sex, you are a pathetic loser. I pity you. Scum. No different than gang bangers who can't stay out of jail. No responsibility.

I ran 14 yesterday afternoon, took the wife out for a nice dinner with friends while the kids were with a babysitter. Had a few drinks after dinner, went home and had really good sex with the wife. Slept like a baby with her in my arms. Woke up and just finished making breakfast for the whole crew. I am happy. Really happy.

Here is a hint. Think about your family over yourself. You will find that in the end it makes you more content.

Gotta go, meeting a buddy for an easy 10 in about an hour.

Chris Rock said "You're only as faithful as your options"

I promise you that 80% of these keeners who would never cheat on their wife would cheat if given the opportunity. Maybe not the first time but if continually in a situation to get a little you will eventually have a taste.

elevator wrote:

Do you feel self-righteous about being above all this?

No, I don't.

BEASTMODE wrote:

someone else wrote:

You will be judged whether you believe it or not. Disbelief won't make it go away.

what if we're just here...and that's it? poof, next.

why are people so afraid of this idea? does it bother us that we may be no more important than a rock, a bug, a mouse, etc.?

why do you need a god to make yourself feel important, special, and like you're here for a purpose?

religion brainwashes the f' out of people like you. and people like you ride around on your high horse judging the rest of us who could give a flying f' about your warped views.

HE WILL SMITE YOU!

Some people just need to be threatened with a bad afterlife to be good people. And they then feel the need to state their superstitions as incontrovertible facts and assert their superiority over those who are willing to be good people simply because it's the right thing to do, not because we fear being struck down by God's hand or noodly appendage. Welcome to humanity.

happily married wrote:

Destroyedbycheating wrote:

And as for Mr. Happily Married, just because you are doing it with hookers and strippers does not make it any better. You are sick man paying into a sick, abusive industry. Do you have daughters? How would you feel if when they grew up they turned tricks giving dirty old men like you hand jobs and BJs. Shameful.

I do have two young daughters. I like Chris Rock's opinion on this matter:

"Sometimes I am walking with my daughter, I'm talking to my daughter, I'm looking at her, I'm pushing her in the stroller. And sometimes I pick her up and I just stare at her and I realize my only job in life is to keep her off the pole.

"Keep my baby off the pole!

"I mean they don't grade fathers but if your daughter is a stripper you fucked up."

News flash: You already did f*** up - as a father and a husband. Scum bag.

someone else wrote:

happily married wrote:

Sorry, I don't believe in your magical fairy creatures that judge you after you die and decide if you are worthy of heaven.

You will be judged whether you believe it or not. Disbelief won't make it go away.

I see someone has been watching the trailer for the new Anthony Hopkins movie...

Wow!

The fact that people who oppose adultry are placing family values, moral character, integrity etc. on the act of sex is amazing.

What's up with these barbarians who tell the "adulterers" to "try harder","see a counselor", or "get a divorce". Yet it's completely acceptable for the adulterer's spouse to dictate the relationship by not "trying harder" in bed.

Then we have the kids observing this animalistic behavior pattern of barbaric jealousy. They grow up thinking one of their parents is a "selfish" loser because they "cheated" on the other. The kids are left with an insecure stigma or behavior pattern centered on a physical act we have been using to survive since the beginning.

If the PARENT is doing a great job supporting the children, feeding them, educating them, teaching them to contribute to their society, why should a biological instinct of most humans (i.e. sex)be turned against them if everything else they do for their family is progressive and positive?

Why does the sacrafice fall on the person suffering from a lack of physical intimacy or affection?

What the hell ever happened to compromise in a relationship?

As for the haters, centering the moral standards, integrity, reputation and daily livlihood of a family on the act of sex is no less barbaric or selfish then the same people they accuse of acting on it. A standard remains. A standard centered around sex.

Out-of-Wedlock-Danny wrote:don't come at us with the older/more experienced-than-thou bulls h i t.

Actually, I agree with Dear diary....

When I was younger I was adamant about not cheating; didn't condone it or understand it. It's easy to be idealistic when you're young. Even early in my marriage I had absolutely no desire for any woman but my wife.

Now in my 40s, married with several kids, I see the other side. Months and months at a time with no sex from a depressed/angry/bitter spouse who refuses to help herself. I'm the sole breadwinner who helps out a LOT around the house - cook most of the meals, do lots of cleaning, laundry etc. Our stay-at-home-mom will rarely cook a meal, unless its to put a frozen pizza or chicken nuggets in the oven.

For those who say get divorced, it's not so simple. Not good for the kids & there's the alimony and costs of maintaining two separate households to consider. So I'm stuck.

Once every couple months when I get the urge I go seek "professional help" if you get my drift. Not heroic. Not something I'm proud of, or particularly even want to do. Certainly not something that's even particulary "rewarding". But I'm a lot less cranky and stressed afterwards.

Yeah everyone. Pay attention to the old wise guy. We young "idealistic" folk don't know crap.

someone else wrote:

You will be judged whether you believe it or not. Disbelief won't make it go away.

Well, we certainly know who got cheated on when they handed out brains.

You misunderstood your old man. What he was teaching you wasn't "duty, honor, country" --it was "pooty! On her c.u.n.t, wheeeeeee!"

Pretty good dude wrote:

I'm in my early 40's, married for 12 years, with kids. Very happy guy. Never once strayed, mostly due to the values and integrity instilled in me by my father, a retired high-ranking military officer. Duty, honor, country!

Here's a twist: I just found out recently that my dad has been a serial philanderer for many years. Apparently my mom has known, or been suspicious, but lived in denial. There's even a half-Vietnamese woman who has been calling him claiming he's her dad!

What a nightmare this has been.