HELP: MARATHON WITH GIRLFRIEND

curiouser wrote:

You're coming to support her... you paid for the flight... she can't even find you a place to sleep... let her pay the entry!

Best advice I've seen thus far...

Pete, you did it three times? I don't like it. My issue is not really about the entry fee (but I think you should have paid), but about the CRUTCH you provided to your wife. Marathons are hard. You are alone for 26.2 miles and it's up to you to find the best race strategy, correct pace, and to learn how to deal with the pain and discouragement.

WHY does your wife even want to run a marathon if she needs you to help her along the way? For me, that's not a real experience. In a way, it's almost like the people using headphones in a race. They cut themselves off from the real experience, "needing" the music because their mind is weak.

Finally, it is not fair to the other runners. I saw that last year cheering on runners at my local marathon. I was located at mile 20 when it gets tough. Well a few runners had 'friends' ready to jump in at that mark. They were loud and arrogant...look, I'm so fast, I'm going to help this lesser (female) runner to finish...I'm awesome, a real man! Well, no, quite the opposite. The worst was to see the other runners, the real COMPETITORS, looking even more discouraged when realizing that the girl next to them had a huge help for the last hard miles.

Pete, how would you like it if a guy jumped in to help your competitor and left you in the dust at your next marathon?

It's just plain wrong. I usually like your posts Pete, but not this one, and sorry to say it but I have the feeling I wouldn't like your wife.

I think runners who use that crutch should be disqualified from the race, and people who help them barred from running the race in the future. I believe some races actually stipulate that.

Feel lucky that your gf is even a runner. I'm a 2:48 marathoner like yourself and my gf doesnt run at all. She really doesnt understand the concept... Makes it hard when I have to say 'sorry, but I need to go run right now.' and I dont come back for an hour or two.

1.) Bandit runners are funny. The $100 kind of sucks if your not going to race, if your worried about your name with a slower time just mis spell your first name or something or get her to help you buy it and make up a name.

2.) Walking durring the meat and potatos of the race isnt too bad but near the end is the worst thing you can do, you'll never start runnning again. But doing what you do in practice is always your best bet.

3.)Dont say a word unless your asked something, try and grab a cup of fluid, a goop bag, or a stick of vasoline for her, and once you can see the finish line start the encuragment and congragulations. (Then take a huge duce on the finish line, saw that once, no joke the poor guy just couldnt hold it anymore ahahaha).

I knew I'd get some heat for coming clean on this, and that's fair. As I've already acknowledged, what I did was wrong. Just not wrong enough, to me, to cause me to lose any sleep. But I accept your rebuke, and I definitely understand your perspective.

do not do that, period wrote:(1) how would you like it if a guy jumped in to help your competitor and left you in the dust at your next marathon?

(2) I have the feeling I wouldn't like your wife.

(1) Here's where I can draw a line between me and my wife. When I race, I'm competing. In her marathons so far, she's been a participant, learning the distance, and not really competing, per se. If she were a threat to place in her age group even, I wouldn't run with her. In fact she occasionally does place in her age group in shorter races, and I've long ago stopped running along her in shorter races. As a competitor, I wouldn't take support like this (let me qualify this - I have had buddies rabbit me once or twice in track races where there was nobody around my ability - but there was no prize money, trophies etc on the line - just a time). I've seen my competitors occasionally receive assistance, and I didn't like it. Mind you I didn't do anything about it (I came second in a small local marathon to a guy who had a support crew giving him food and drinks all along the course against the race rules), but yes it irritated me.

(2) Oh I don't know. Very few people who meet my wife don't like her. She's got the sense of humour of a 13 year old boy. What's not to like?

I can understand my perspective (and actions) in this subject irritating people. I guess that's one of my crosses to bear.

I agree, only world class runners should have rabbits.

7/10...solid trolling effort.

3/10.... you wouldn't make any of my movies or photo shoots.

do not do that, period wrote:

WHY does your wife even want to run a marathon if she needs you to help her along the way? For me, that's not a real experience. In a way, it's almost like the people using headphones in a race. They cut themselves off from the real experience, "needing" the music because their mind is weak.

WHY does it bother you what her motivation is? And who really gives two craps about what a real marathon is to you? Take your sense of entitlement elsewhere.

And to the OP, this situation is a little tricky since the race directors forbid pacing. I have run races as a pacer before (for friends) and have had people run with me as pacers. I always had it cleared with the race director though. And the people who did not pay for the race only ran a portion of the course and did not partake in any of the services for paying runners.

While I think the hatred towards bandits is a way over the top around here, I would say that if you have the $100 at your disposal, then pay for the race and fully utilize the services on the course. If you don't have the money then maybe consider only running alongside for part of the race. Don't take up space in the starting corral and certainly do not cross the finish line or take aid on the course.

To the guy who said $100 won't break the bank, I think you are completely out of touch with reality. I am not a college student, but I am pretty poor. I made under $9000 last year (just did my taxes yesterday). One hundred dollars represents over 1% of my annual earnings. I don't know much about the original poster, but I do know that it is a big deal to me to drop $100 on a race. Don't be so presumptuous.

E wrote:

[quote]:

To the guy who said $100 won't break the bank, I think you are completely out of touch with reality. I am not a college student, but I am pretty poor. I made under $9000 last year (just did my taxes yesterday). One hundred dollars represents over 1% of my annual earnings. I don't know much about the original poster, but I do know that it is a big deal to me to drop $100 on a race. Don't be so presumptuous.

Who said anything about your situation?

With your reading comprehension level, I can see why you made 9 grand last year. And if you did only make 9 grand last year, you should spend less time on letsrun and running races and more time making a living.

You made 9 grand last year, and you are telling someone else they are out of touch with reality?

E, do you know--do you care about--the difference between right and wrong? Do you go through life without ever thinking about the consequence of your actions?

If your answer is no, you are either:

- 2 years old. Fun! Have a good day at the park, good weather today.

- more evolved than a fish, but still considerably less aware than my 8-year old nephew. That might explain why you make 9K a year.

pay to play wrote:

Did you know your girlfriend could be DQ'd if an official, such as myself, sees you running with her and if we feel you two know each other. (You canlook up the rules in the USATF rule book.)

But that's true whether he's entered or not. Fortunately, most officials aren't big enough jerks that they would DQ a 4hr marathoner for this.

dukerdog wrote:

But that's true whether he's entered or not.

--> Wrong.

dukerdog wrote:Fortunately, most officials aren't big enough jerks that they would DQ a 4hr marathoner for this.

--> 4hr marathoners don't count? Only your race is important, the other guys are just jokers?

E wrote:

To the guy who said $100 won't break the bank, I think you are completely out of touch with reality. I am not a college student, but I am pretty poor. I made under $9000 last year (just did my taxes yesterday). One hundred dollars represents over 1% of my annual earnings. I don't know much about the original poster, but I do know that it is a big deal to me to drop $100 on a race. Don't be so presumptuous.

I think his point was to say that, if the OP had enough money for a plane ticket and a hotel room, he should be able to put up another $100 for the entry. My guess is that if he only made $9000 a year, he probably wouldn't be pacing his girlfriend because he wouldn't be able to afford the travel.

Pete wrote:Here's where I can draw a line between me and my wife. When I race, I'm competing. In her marathons so far, she's been a participant, learning the distance, and not really competing, per se. If she were a threat to place in her age group even, I wouldn't run with her. In fact she occasionally does place in her age group in shorter races, and I've long ago stopped running along her in shorter races. As a competitor, I wouldn't take support like this (let me qualify this - I have had buddies rabbit me once or twice in track races where there was nobody around my ability - but there was no prize money, trophies etc on the line - just a time).

This is exactly how I see it. I can afford the $100 fee, and as I stated in the OP, I probably will pay it. I'll pay it so that I can start and finish with her - don't see this as an ethical issue in this particular case though. I see a gray area when there's prize money on the line, but in the case of running a 4hr marathon? Come on!

DCT wrote:

Run along side of her

Then break up with her at around 22 miles in when she really wants to quit

She will be so pissed at you she will forget about the pain, and push on to finish.

POD!!

And to those of you who are troll rating this - bonus points are awarded because he was linked to the front page.

LMLOVEDATE wrote:

I see a gray area when there's prize money on the line, but in the case of running a 4hr marathon? Come on!

[quote]:

Think of yourself much?

Do the rates for supporting slower runners go down or up for 4 hr plus runners?

This is why your women won't amount to anything. No independence; can't do anything for themselves. OP's woman supposedly is an experienced runner and OP is "flying in". Gimme a break. Don't hassle OP & Pete for banditing; hassle them for being a couple of spineless wusses.

Guys, tell your women to MAN UP.

pay to play wrote:

If you don't pay, you're a bandit plain and simple. You're trying to get something for free that most everybody around you is paying for--things like traffic control, race volunteers, etc. Did you know your girlfriend could be DQ'd if an official, such as myself, sees you running with her and if we feel you two know each other. (You canlook up the rules in the USATF rule book.) Unregistered runners also clog up the streets and make it more difficult for those who paid. Pony up the $100 and be legit.

Blah, blah, blah. don't listen to this weenie. you're basically engaging in an act of charity by escorting your woman through a butt-ass slow marathon; you don't need to be penalized $100 on top of that. That being said, rules (no matter how black and white, restrictive, and/or nonsensical) are rules, and you and your gf should be prepared to deal with the consequences if caught.

PS. As other people have already stated, don't cross the finish line, and don't partake in any of the food or drink that's being dished out before, during, or after the race.

[quote]pablo wrote:

[quote]LMLOVEDATE wrote:

3.) What can I do during the marathon to encourage her/take her mind off the pain? The past couple long runs when she started slowing down I think I've come across as slightly agitated and not supportive. On marathon day I want to be as helpful as possible.

Be flexible. Adjust your (and, more importantly, her) expectations according to how she's feeling and what sort of race she's running.

Basically, don't do what I witnessed a couple of weeks ago. A guy was running a half marathon with his GF (or wife). We were running into a steady 20 mph headwind with gusts as high as 45 mph. She said, "This is too fast. I need to slow down." His reply? "I'm running at exactly the pace you said you wanted to go." For him, it wasn't a difficult pace. For her, it was probably murder to sustain if she'd been used to running that pace NOT in a brutal headwind.

Good for you for supporting your sweetheart. But, I agree with the others: don't bandit. Pony up the $100.