Post-nuptial shutoff?

I'm sorry but what then would be the purpose of marrying, unless it were for monetary reasons.

Cougars are always on the prowl.

Check out

www.sugardaddyforme.com

if you're one of the male posters here who's single and making over $150K.

That is where you'll find some true hotties. Just have the lawyer get the 'arrangement' papers ready in advance.

It's an entertaining world out there.

Good point.

need data wrote:

Married guys: how long after the ceremony did it take for your wives to start shutting you off?

About 500 posts after the ceremony.

I just read her some of the posts on here about the wives shutting their husbands off. For some reason, that's pretty much a guarantee that I'll get some. I guess she doesn't want me posting that I'm also shut off.

We've been married about 3.5 years...with children.

My wife is a walking contradiction... a bit of a prude...because of religious convictions and a very repressed upbringing...but I think she has hidden fantasies and not about me. She is very involved in her church and thinks its one of her biggest priorities...she's even gotten me involved in bible study etc. there mere utterance of a profanity will get me in the dog house and TV is controlled like crazy.

She is very dominating...makes significantly more money that I do but doesn't make an issue of it.

Although...

1.) We were heading home from a friends wedding

a couple months after we got married and as we were getting on the plane she passed a very good looking co-worker, with his wife, already on the crowded plane and said very publicly..."hey are you into swinging?" she thought she was being funning, I was totally mortified...esp. considering her "Sweet Christian" demeanor

2.) She will wear mostly flannel pjs ands sweats to bed

but very revealing clothes that show major cleavage to work...she's 36ee!

3.) I find her occasionally enjoying "Girls Next Door" and is always watching Access Hollywood and other trashing shows when I'm not looking...when I catch her she says...

oh...I just think these show are so stupid...that's why I watch them...confirming the Bob Thompson theory ..."why do smart people watch bad TV?

4.) We recently had a nice romantic get away planned at a very nice hotel...her parents were going to watch our kids etc. i spent quite a bit of time massaging etc. what i got back in return...just about nothing.

5.) we avg. sex about 1-2 a month. she often complains about not being into it because she's constipated etc.

I still find her very attractive and love her very much.

Not sure she is being 100% honest with me. Any thoughts?

You are Kidding, right?

You can hire a Private Investigator to see what she's really doing between home, work and church.

It's your business, though.

oh...forgot this one...

she's also very interested (or conflicted)about going to one of those "Passion" parties. The ones that sell sex toys etc...I don't really care if she goes...no biggie...but it totally contradicts that "Sweet Christian" demeanor she's always professing...and trying to portray...and our sex life is so lame to begin with I don't think she'd be doing it for me. The fact that she would mention that she'd like to go would lead you to believe that she'd be a little more autocritical about our sex life in the meantime...since the mention of the "Passion" party we've barely done anything...and this even after the romantic getaway.

what to do?

She needs to realize that it is okay for a sweet Christian girl to be a vixen in bed with her husband. As a Christian myself I have seen others struggle with this. From a Christian perspective, God created sex for husbands and wives to enjoy with one another. It should be hot and steamy. If she wants to get toys involved (and wants you to use them with her) that is good, but I think it sounds like she is afraid to because she thinks its wrong. She may have other fantasies too from the sounds of it, and possibly not all of them involved both of you the way she is talking, but try to find out what her fantasies are with you and try them out. Role playing, toys, etc. whatever the two of you can do to get it going. She needs to realize it is healthy and good for Christian women to be sexually alive. She may also need to get some professional counseling about it. Good luck, I feel for ya man.

She may also want to get another person involved - a woman!!

You may want to consider letting her in on the secret that there is no God. That will relieve quite a few anxieties...or could create quite a few more depending on how stable and mature she is. Or she can go on believing that sex is evil and that she'd be hurting Jesus.

3.5 wrote:

what to do?

Find her a real man that can dominate her in the bedroom and doesn't wait like a weak little puppy in hopes that she might "want it" tonight.

You are a "nice guy" who is the submissive in the relationship. This destroys attraction for her.

i've tried the donkey punch shit before...

doesn't work with her.

I think 3.5, that your wife has lost interest in you. Hiding behind Christianity as a reason for her lack luster sex drive towards you is what is going on here even though it is really something else/different she is looking for. Are you regretful for marrying this woman? It seems to me that there is more here than meets the eye. More than just what happens (is not happening) behind closed doors. Something has gotta change or I see this being a negative experience (marriage) for you. I hope she doesn't end up having an affair with some middle-aged man from church with you. I would hire an investigator...

I'm an atheist, but that was a great post.

What if you never had sex before you married? Any guys like that out there?

Is it even possible to be shut-off? Maybe after the first year or so when the "novelty" wears off?

I'm bummed I've only found this thread now. HaHa

Been married over 11 years, dated for about 8 before that. Typical like most other relationships. Did it like rabbits when first dating, but things slow a bit after marriage, jobs, kids, etc.

Sure requency isn't what it used to be, but my wife is a freaky demon in the sack. Quiet average teacher type by day, freak-a-zoid when she's in the mood.

I don't have any sage wisdom for anybody other than to say good luck when picking a woman. Mine's awesome. She doesn't sweat stupid stuff like most other women do. Like when there's a bachelor party and me and my buddies are headed to the nudie bar, I don't have to lie to her. On the way over in the car, my buddies will have to talk about the plan of what to tell the wives where they were. F--k that. I tell my wife and she's cool with it. The only thing she'll usually say is "Try not to put the girls through college all in one night." Hahaha. Oh and she digs porn too!

Man, now I want to leave work and nail her.

wait until she has a kid...then it is over.

need data wrote:

You are Kidding, right?

You can hire a Private Investigator to see what she's really doing between home, work and church.

It's your business, though.

I bet she likes the missionary position. Maybe with a missionary?

Marriage is a three-ring circus.

Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ring