Scared to death of a false accusation from a girl

Sham 69 wrote:

Now you get to find out who your real friends are. Don't sweat it if you're innocent.

not that simple. the "believe women" movement has me damned. from now on i'm wearing a mic every time in the bedroom or leaving one in my clothes

yiikessss wrote:

Long story short, last night a date and I were getting into it when suddenly she decided she wasn't down and told me to leave. I didn't touch her as soon as she had backed away and said that and immediately left with just an apology, as I walked out she mentioned something about how it felt "nonconsensual". The encounter hardly went anywhere (nothing more than touching & kissing) but she screenshotted some messages of mine and I'm scared to death. All she has to do is accuse me and I feel like I have zero defense in today's society. Any advice? Before we started I literally asked her if she wanted to and she said "yeah" but I have no way of proving this.

Didn't you get the memo? You are supposed to get one of these prior.

You can also have that form just filled out by your attorney and then sent to her attorney. Keep a copy on your phone for reference when "in the mood".

Sham 69 wrote:

Don't sweat it if you're innocent.

Now that sounds like bad advice.

One thing I'd want to know is whether you're college or university students. As bad as the legal system can be for the accused, the disciplinary system in almost all colleges and universities is far, far worse. You lack the basic constitutional protections of the criminal law system, and the administrators who will make the initial findings and conclusions about your case tend to be a highly self-selected group of legally unsophisticated bureaucrats who have an agenda that does not favor the accused. (From the most recent issue of the ABA's "Judge's Journal": "An empirical study of the 298 concluded cases [court challenges to university determinations of guilt of sexual misconduct] from policy adoption (referring to a disgraceful policy adopted and effectively mandated by the Obama administration in 2011 under the purported authority of Title IX) to August 2019 found universities in the wrong in 151 cases (51 percent) with another 74 case (25 percent) ending in settlements before the court case was concluded."). Even when a determination of guilt is tossed out by a court or otherwise negotiated, the accused's life is likely to be in tatters for a long time. (I like Barack Obama, but he was dead wrong on this.)

I wish I had some decent advice, but this isn't my field of expertise. Obviously, depending on developments, you shouldn't go through any subsequent disciplinary or legal process without consulting someone who knows the ropes and is on your side. Regardless of what happens in the near future, you will probably be walking on eggshells for a while. And obviously, be careful about what you say in text messages.

Watch A Promising Young Woman.

Hopefully she woke up this morning and didn't decide to try and ruin my life but it's possible. I am not a college student at the moment but I'm still fairly high profile and if she accused me the time it would take for me to prove myself innocent (assuming somehow they didn't just take her word for it and convict me) would still probably ruin my life. The only thing I can think of is there may be security cameras at her place outside that showed her opening the door for me before and after (showing I was only at her place for about 10 minutes) and also showing she opened the door for me to leave and I just walked out (when she suddenly stopped and said she felt weird I immediately left, didn't try and negotiate or anything). I'm sure I'm overthinking this but just her suddenly saying "that felt nonconsensual" scared the fck outta me.

Alright also a crucial piece I left out for the sake of pg-13- she had told me she liked to be "dominated" so when I asked her to do a certain common thing and she said "I don't know" I said "should I make you" teasingly which is when she suddenly stopped and told me to leave etc etc. I still think that was a simple misunderstanding because "being dominated" has different meanings for different people.

Tell her, gee what a coincidence, YOU felt it was nonconsensual as well. Share how it feels with her. Maybe she will take pity on you as you will be perceived as identifying with her feelings. She was moving fast and you didn't feel comfortable. Cry if you can.

If legal problems come out of this situation, just make sure to get the story straight.

You got her consent, she decided she was uncomfortable, as soon as she said she was uncomfortable you stopped, and you apologized and that was the end of it.

You’ll be alright. Even if the judge was to rule against you, not much happened, you’d get a slap on the wrist. You’re fine. Sorry this happened to you if this isn’t a troll.

I don't believe you and hopefully you get the book thrown at you. If it was consensual I'm pretty sure she wouldn't tell _you_ it was nonconsensual. She might have brought that up to friends or police later, but that she told you that she thought you were sexually assaulting her is really bizarre. And then why the hell would you apologize if you didn't do anything? You either read the signs very wrong or are a creep. Either way, don't be alone with women anymore.

You pushed the envelope. She said “no” and you still tried to appeal to her. That’s life buddy. Learn to control your hormones next time.

byron evans wrote:

I don't believe you and hopefully you get the book thrown at you. If it was consensual I'm pretty sure she wouldn't tell _you_ it was nonconsensual. She might have brought that up to friends or police later, but that she told you that she thought you were sexually assaulting her is really bizarre. And then why the hell would you apologize if you didn't do anything? You either read the signs very wrong or are a creep. Either way, don't be alone with women anymore.

Here is one of the reasons that you need to be really scared for your future..

byron evans wrote:

I don't believe you and hopefully you get the book thrown at you. If it was consensual I'm pretty sure she wouldn't tell _you_ it was nonconsensual. She might have brought that up to friends or police later, but that she told you that she thought you were sexually assaulting her is really bizarre. And then why the hell would you apologize if you didn't do anything? You either read the signs very wrong or are a creep. Either way, don't be alone with women anymore.

there's nothing that was done that was nonconsenual. She said it "felt" nonconsensual after I suggested I "make" her do something, which I said because she had told me she liked being "dominated". I am seriously the most cautious guy, so this statement alone was pretty out of character for me, but I was just trying to go along with what I thought she wanted. Once she said no and gave me a funny look and said I should leave, that's exactly what I did, with a brief apology as I threw my clothes on and walked out. and as I walked out she said it "felt nonconsensual" which scares me. Theres no reason for me to lie on here. If I had done anything more than this my guilt would be obvious to me and I wouldn't be on here posting and i'd be a monster.

Disko Eric wrote:

You pushed the envelope. She said “no” and you still tried to appeal to her. That’s life buddy. Learn to control your hormones next time.

No, I didn't. once she said no I didn't argue with her or try and touch her or anything I just left dude

yiikessss wrote:

Alright also a crucial piece I left out for the sake of pg-13- she had told me she liked to be "dominated" so when I asked her to do a certain common thing and she said "I don't know" I said "should I make you" teasingly which is when she suddenly stopped and told me to leave etc etc. I still think that was a simple misunderstanding because "being dominated" has different meanings for different people.

So she's a Sub looking for a Dom and you just came off creepy with the "should I make you" comment. You don't force those things man, you just let it happen naturally.

Anyway, you'll be fine. She's probably moved on to her next wanna-be Dom.

Alan

Runningart2004 wrote:

yiikessss wrote:

Alright also a crucial piece I left out for the sake of pg-13- she had told me she liked to be "dominated" so when I asked her to do a certain common thing and she said "I don't know" I said "should I make you" teasingly which is when she suddenly stopped and told me to leave etc etc. I still think that was a simple misunderstanding because "being dominated" has different meanings for different people.

So she's a Sub looking for a Dom and you just came off creepy with the "should I make you" comment. You don't force those things man, you just let it happen naturally.

Anyway, you'll be fine. She's probably moved on to her next wanna-be Dom.

Alan

Look, its great you post here with your name. But maybe consider posting anonymously in threads like these? It isn't that big of a deal, but you might as well post anonymously for anything in a gray area?

dhdhdhiekedbd wrote:

Runningart2004 wrote:

So she's a Sub looking for a Dom and you just came off creepy with the "should I make you" comment. You don't force those things man, you just let it happen naturally.

Anyway, you'll be fine. She's probably moved on to her next wanna-be Dom.

Alan

Look, its great you post here with your name. But maybe consider posting anonymously in threads like these? It isn't that big of a deal, but you might as well post anonymously for anything in a gray area?

From what he described he didn't do anything wrong because nothing happened.

They fooled around a little. He made a comment that made her change her mind. She left of her own free will. The night ended. That's exactly how this situation should have gone. Had he tried to force her to stay then there would have been an issue. He didn't. So there wasn't.

Is he some young dumb kid lacking sexual experience who thought he was wooing someone he thought was a freak with some laughable stupid ignorant comment about making someone do something? Yep. Did he actually make someone do something? Nope.

Should he look to have a political career? Probably not because nothing becomes an allegation in 20 years.

This is what our wanna-be overly excited Dom should do. Call the girl. Apologize for the comment. Move on.

Alan

PS: I've signed my posts like this for over 20 years here. Ain't changin.

byron evans wrote:

I don't believe you and hopefully you get the book thrown at you. If it was consensual I'm pretty sure she wouldn't tell _you_ it was nonconsensual. She might have brought that up to friends or police later, but that she told you that she thought you were sexually assaulting her is really bizarre. And then why the hell would you apologize if you didn't do anything? You either read the signs very wrong or are a creep. Either way, don't be alone with women anymore.

You are a cretin and your take on this is sickening.

People often apologize when they haven't done anything wrong (this is quite normal human behavior - e.g. two people bump into each other and both apologise - it doesn't mean they both think they were at fault). If you can't understand human interactions, you either haven't socialized much or you are extremely autistic. Either way, don't comment on topics like this.

Good call. I am super autistic.