social anxiety, anyone have the same issue?

I think a lot of runners do, and it’s been discussed here before.

You should talk to a professional about it. Try to be confident and think of something positive everyday. Medication is a last resort, but can be helpful.

I have it to, but I’ve improved over the years. Ask yourself why you care what others think about you. When you stop caring, it takes a big load off and you will naturally be more confident. It takes time and if it’s that bad you’ll need help.

Excessive criticism creates that scenario.

Friends are usually those who accept you, so that you don't feel as judged.

Dwelling on what others think of you is usually a recipe for unhappiness.

Find something you care about, and immerse yourself in it.

You won't have to be good at it, do it because you care about it.

I have some social anxiety but not like what you are talking about - you should definitely seek help from a professional if you haven't already. Someone should be helping you with the panic attacks in particular. It must be horrible dealing with that at school. Do you have any close friends you can confide in?

A good therapist would give you helpful tools to help your mind reframe the way you think about things. You've also got to try and work out what helps yourself.

I have mild social anxiety. I worry constantly about what people think of me and my life and cringe inwardly at things I have said I'm the past, but I have got quite good at compartmentalizing stuff - which comes with its own problems. I lost a lot of confidence after quitting a stressful job and that seemed to have triggered mine initially. I have also narrowed my group of friends over time and find attending any sort of group situation very stressful - I will try any excuse to avoid.

I wear an elastic band on my wrist during particularly stressful phases and flick it to help - it's meant to stop your brain when it is following unhelpful thought processes or something like that. It's only a tiny thing but would recommend. Don't suffer in silence whatever you do.

I know someone who had horrible social anxiety, then he took acid alone and became the most authentic and confident person ever. Looks like there's some research going on about it too. Basically, he realised that his social anxiety was a stupid waste of time

Oh thankyou so much for the advice, yeah this sucks so bad i end up hiding in the bathroom when i get the panic attacks. The worst part is when you don't mean to come across as ignorant or mean at the same time awkward when people don't realize you are literally fighting a war in your head while barely managing to look socially appropriate.

I will try to get help, i don't want my parents to know about this so it will be hard to find a shrink, i have what you would call teammates, but honestly because of this has been going on for 4 years i don't have friends and lost my previous friends because of these demon soul killers!

I will give a look at that acid stuff, i will pretty much do anything to cure this illness as long as it won't interfere with running performance, ps don't ever try Seroquel, it will kill your body mentally and physically.

Please listen to this. I know a bit about social anxiety disorder and I feel for anyone who has it because it can be an awful experience. However, the good news is that it responds well to treatment--but the hardest part of all is usually ASKING FOR HELP from a doctor or therapist. If you have social anxiety disorder, you definitely need to treat it because it may not improve at all or get worse. It can become very emotionally debilitating if left untreated.

It is not your fault if you have social anxiety, it is usually caused by experiences in childhood and adolescense--parenting style is a common culprit, usually authoritarian and/or an overprotective parent(s) can cause it.

A doctor prescribing medication to help it and also therapy may be necessary to address the cognitive distortions (negative thinking patterns) and the bad coping habits associated with the anxiety. Avoidance usually causes and exacerbates anxiety, so therapy usually focuses on gradual exposure to anxiety provoking situations that the patient typically avoids or uses bad habits in. Once the avoidance stops and the situation is faced enough, the brain becomes trained to acknowledge that the situation can be handled and it is not that scary.

Again, the key is seeking help. Go to a doctor and if they will prescribe medication and also try to have them send to a therapist or find one that specializes in this area.

Good luck to OP and anyone else dealing with this it is no fun at all.

OP, Regarding thinking everyone is staring/judging at you, I recommend looking/glancing at them because it sounds as if you avoid looking at them because you fear proving yourself right that they are judging you at all times. Chances are they're not even looking at you most times. Reality is, most people are too in their own minds in a similar way and not really paying attention to you or others. You have no control over what others think, so don't worry about it. Control what you can control, do not try to control things you can not simply because, you can not control them! This is a cognitive distortion/poor way of thinking that you've trained your brain to do for probably a while. Try to change your actions and perspective. Try not to view others as out to get you because really, they are not out to get you.

I'm older now, but when I was younger I thought the same thing. Not as much as you, but sometimes.

It's like the first time wearing short running shorts or tights... you think everyone is staring at you.

Trust me, no one is (unless they like you) and no one cares.

I've had a few women that would stare at me with a puzzled look on their face, and I had to ask them what they are looking at. A majority of them I found out that was their way of flirting with me to get my attention.

I used to have it in college, especially in the classrooms that are configured so that everyone is facing each other. I remember getting sweaty and feeling my heart pounding. I never got treatment for it, but eventually it faded as I got older. Now in my late 40s, I really don't care what anyone thinks, aside from friends and family.

I would seek therapy for it though. There's no point in suffering through this if you don't have to.

differentperspective wrote:

I know someone who had horrible social anxiety, then he took acid alone and became the most authentic and confident person ever. Looks like there's some research going on about it too. Basically, he realised that his social anxiety was a stupid waste of time

this suggestion needs to be taken with a lot of caution. there is a lot of risk involved, and a lot can go wrong.

I was lucky to have a role model in my life (coach) who didn't browbeat me (he put a small stone in my shoe) and taught me that it was not others expectations that are important, but my own. I had to figure out my own value system-not a lot different than many systems (i.e. 10 commandments) and judge myself solely by these measures that I set for myself. Since you sound like a perfectionist, you will still have to give yourself a break when you don't hit your own standards, but it is far better than beating yourself up over what you think others think. That is simply chasing ghosts.

I used to have exactly your level of social anxiety some years ago. Had very bad times; struggled with depression and one (serious) suicide attempt. Going for a walk was painful, I was scared of bumping into a neighbour! At one point, I had no contact with almost anybody; cut ties with my friends. I wouldnt even relax with my own parents. My life was miserable and I was not even aware of how down I was, as I had gotten used to it.

Luckily, I decided to visit a psychologyst bc of the feeling of depression which I was aware of -she told me about my severe social anxiety-

It took me a lot of time and effort, I tried almost everything and felt desperate at times... Some years later -but it didnt take me years to drastically improve!- I am like a new person. Social anxiety is like 15-10% of what used to be; I am just a moderately shy person. And this is not anectdotical evidence. Social anxiety can be well managed with therapy, life style changes and, if needed, medicaction. My depression has drastically improved as well.

I had to change my life in order to feel better. I was on meds, which honestly helped me, I was as hardworking as I could in therapy, I changed my sleep habits and found that running and sport could be life changing to manage stress -which made my anxiety and depression quite better-, so I am quite strict about it. I meditate regularly, which is moderately helpful I guess, and learnt new coping skills. I realize when I am feeling a little bit down and things could start to get out of rails; so I am able to reach for help.

So you are probably desperate and see no possibility of change. Doing what you have been doing won't help you; actually, some things you are doing to try to feel better in the short run -like avoiding social situations- are probably making things quite worse in the long term. But you can break tha cycle. Tell somebody you might trust; look for professional help

Best wishes buddy

I have something similar I used seroquil when I was running 100 miles per week the first time but it made me want to take a nap on the side of the road …I won’t be doing that again. It’s not a bad medicine but really all it does is put you to sleep

I suspect the original post might be a troll post, but if not I would suggest lifting weights. Maybe even add some martial arts like BJJ or boxing or wrestling. You need to build your core confidence as a man. Those things help. Get your ass kicked and learn how to do it to others. No safe zones.

Also, eat red meat.

I dread basic stuff....if I wake up in the morning and have a work call at 9:30am I stress so much about it.

It sucks

Possible cures for Social Anxiety Disorder. ***Not APA approved***

Get out of your own head, take a trip to Kansas.

http://www.kansastravel.org/balloftwine.htm

Read all the old Jamin posts.

Follow Ukrainian hotties on the interweb.

Take up bowling or pickleball.

Write your congressman and complain about lack of funds being spent on narcolepsy.

Join a Toastmasters club near you.

Only give speeches advocating Neo-Luddism.

Give up High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Avoid Canadians.

Run more.

Strangeee3 wrote:

I dread basic stuff....if I wake up in the morning and have a work call at 9:30am I stress so much about it.

It sucks

The runination is a problem. If you think there's something to be anxious about, it will only make you more anxious and continue the cycle. Facing your fears gradually is the only way to trick your mind into realizing there's nothing to fear. Think of your brain as a computer program. Your past experiences shape who you are today. If you have cognitive distortions or anxiety, there maybe some past trauma that programmed it.

STEVE THE ADDICT^^^^^^""""""""'"--';"- wrote:

The runination is a problem. If you think there's something to be anxious about, it will only make you more anxious and continue the cycle. Facing your fears gradually is the only way to trick your mind into realizing there's nothing to fear. Think of your brain as a computer program. Your past experiences shape who you are today. If you have cognitive distortions or anxiety, there maybe some past trauma that programmed it.

This makes sense...do you have any other advice? This is something I struggling seriously with everyday. The worry and fear are intense...