Nice try - but everything you said in that Long post is complete bullshit. Thank you.
I self-DQ all the time. It's where I cheat and send an email to the RD requesting a race reward be mailed to me, but then if the RD catches me, I can say ....wait a minute everyone....I self-DQ! I.e. I never had any intentions of running the full race course! So I'm innocent I tell ya!