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need data
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/2/2008 7:42PM - in reply to Mmm...Bristol Palin Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I'm (seriously) glad this thread has proved to be such an eye-opener for so many, and I hope, it has been educational and may have allowed some to address issues in their own lives, and, hopefully, improved them.

It's also a lot more reserved than the Bill O'Reilly/Barney Frank shouting match I just viewed.

Wow.
Great Stuff
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/5/2008 5:12PM - in reply to need data Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Great Stuff
My name is Michelle
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff? 10/5/2008 5:19PM - in reply to Richard21142 Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Richard21142 wrote:

[quote]kids the real shut off wrote: men need sex. women sometimes do.


I car pooled with a women who told me that she could go the rest of her life without sex. She said this while she and her husband were divorcing. She was about 30 years old at the time.[/quote]

This woman has more resolved personal issues than the standard female.
My name is Michelle
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff? 10/5/2008 5:26PM - in reply to My name is Michelle Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
UNresolved. sorry. :)
Mrs. Masterbooner
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/5/2008 9:47PM - in reply to need data Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Can we please shut off the the post-nuptual shut-off thread??
that is not that
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 1:08AM - in reply to Mrs. Masterbooner Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Hitting too close to home here?
need data
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 7:00AM - in reply to Mrs. Masterbooner Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Unlikely. It has proved to be of help to people. If you don't like it, or it hits home, don't read it.

Have a nice day.
Mrs. Masterbooner
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 8:25AM - in reply to that is not that Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Actually my husband's penis was talking to me last night. It said, "Leave me alone!" I wore it out.
hate stalkers
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 10:55AM - in reply to Mrs. Masterbooner Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Mrs. Masterbooner wrote:

Actually my husband's penis was talking to me last night. It said, "Leave me alone!" I wore it out.


OK--the 'Gaydar alert' is flashing code red...or perhaps pink.
Mrs. Masterbooner
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 10:59AM - in reply to hate stalkers Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Just because I like lots of sex doesn't mean I'm a man.
Gluestick
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 12:26PM - in reply to hate stalkers Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I hate stalkers too.
Stop Blaming the Women
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 1:51PM - in reply to need data Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I have not had time to read all of this thread, but what seems to be missing in what I have read is the lack of acknowledgment by the guys that if she is cutting you off, there is a reason, and if you want it back on, you need to find out what the reason is and address it. And not wait 2 weeks, months, or years to face the problem. Women like sex. Find out what you did to turn her off. She probably wants to fix it as much as you do.
need data
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 2:27PM - in reply to Stop Blaming the Women Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
So why don't women communicate when men ask what's wrong?
femmerunner
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff? 10/6/2008 2:41PM - in reply to My name is Michelle Reply | Return to Index | Report Post



I car pooled with a women who told me that she could go the rest of her life without sex. She said this while she and her husband were divorcing. She was about 30 years old at the time.


It's probably hard for men to understand, because as I understand it, even "bad" sex for men is rarely physically painful. Imagine that every week, you had to go get your penis rubbed raw and didn't get to orgasm, and you were supposed to act enthusiastic about it.

When my ex-husband and I were divorcing, I also felt like I would be happy to never have sex again- because during our marriage, I had come to associate sex with physical pain. Maybe he thought I was cutting him off, but he was hurting me and didn't see fit to change that.

Now that I've been in a good relationship for almost two years, we have sex several times a week and it's great. If she doesn't want the sex, maybe you're doing it wrong.
Stop Blaming the Women
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 2:55PM - in reply to need data Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
It is my experience that women do communicate, but action to change behavior on the part of the man does not always follow when needs are communicated. My husband is a fantastic asker and listener, but struggles with the behavior change part. I am not saying I am the shut-off type, but I can certainly see how a man becomes less attractive after a few rounds, or 10-20 years of this kind of stuff. Thankfully we both still love each other and respect each other, so the sex is never gone for long.
the challenger
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 2:58PM - in reply to Stop Blaming the Women Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

Stop Blaming the Women wrote:

I have not had time to read all of this thread, but what seems to be missing in what I have read is the lack of acknowledgment by the guys that if she is cutting you off, there is a reason, and if you want it back on, you need to find out what the reason is and address it. And not wait 2 weeks, months, or years to face the problem. Women like sex. Find out what you did to turn her off. She probably wants to fix it as much as you do.


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know!!! There was a female shut-off thread. SEVERAL of them, actually. Each one has been deleted. I don't know why - it was something that may have helped a few guys out there.
My Mother Told Me...
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 3:39PM - in reply to need data Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
My older brother is 39 and he is finishing his marriage. His marriage has been rough for a few years now. It's common knowledge in the family that she stopped putting out a long while ago. My mother told me it's each person's job to put out and if one partner stops the other has the right and the human need to go get it somewhere else. My Mom has always had a great perspective on life.
heartlove
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 3:42PM - in reply to the challenger Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
I'm a woman currently in the midst of a shut-off. We're both under thirty, fit, attractive and we haven't been married all that long (5 years and a bit). I don't know exactly how it happened, I can see my husband is handsome, honest and hardworking. He's attractive to me but we hardly ever have sex anymore. I'm talking once a month now and I know it's my fault. I feel very guilty for not wanting more and even that once a month is more for him than for me. It's not that I don't think about sex, I do. I don't understand why I can't want the man that clearly wants me. I know this will destroy our marriage, he's only human. I didn't think this would ever happen to us. I just thought I'd share this as a womens perspective, I wish I could give more insight. I'm just not sure love is supposed to feel like this but I know I love him.
walrus
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 3:50PM - in reply to heartlove Reply | Return to Index | Report Post

heartlove wrote:

It's not that I don't think about sex, I do.


Do these thoughts tend to include other women?
heartlove
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff = WAKE THE F___ UP 10/6/2008 3:56PM - in reply to walrus Reply | Return to Index | Report Post
Yes. This is getting kind of personal but a lot of times I think of other women with my husband. Does this mean something?
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