no time, fat, got family, nearly 40, used to run, want to do 18mins for 5k in 3months to annoy pal

Let’s talk once you get off your xanax high, you sound bared out bro.

Okay; run 30 minutes 4 times a week. One day, warm up 15 minutes, then 5 x 60 seconds on/off, 5 x 30 seconds on/off. Alternatively, find a hill and beat the shite out of yourself for 15 minutes.

Cut back a bit on the beer and drop a few pounds. Hopefully after 12 weeks you might be able to look down and see your pecker instead of gut. Then run your 5k.

Get a bloke that can translate your blarny ramblings.

Ghost of Igloi wrote:

Get a bloke that can translate your blarny ramblings.

It’s Blarney not blarny, blarney is Irish by the way and means to speak with charm.

The OP clearly stated he’s Scottish. Bawbag is your ball sack in Scotland for those interested.

Absolutely!

A) Focus on nutrition foremost. Veggies, fruit, whole grains, and free range meats.

B) Next, you've gotta train within yourself and stay healthy. It's going to get tough, and everyone has a plan until they get punched I'm the face. Whether it's adversity or your buddy literally punching you in the face, you've gotta be ready for it.

C) Third, Vaporflys.

D) Goal setting. Write you goal in magic marker on the wall and repeat it to yourself out loud every morning and every night.

E) Finally, train with your dog. Come race time, strap yourself to your dog and let him help pull you to your goal time.

F) have sexybuns chase you on race day sporting chaps and a codpiece.

Doin fine thanks for axin.

My guess is that you don’t have a chance in He€ll.

“Not bad turn of speed back in the day” means that maybe you were capable at 18. Even if you were that fast 3 years ago at 37, your self described fatness will prevent you from breaking 20 (my complete guess: what was your time for the most recent 5k that you ran?).

If you’re only going to run for 30 minutes at a time 4 times a week, you better be running balls-out the whole time. Ain’t no shortcuts though. You gon fail.

Obviously any smarter “programme,” with an extra “m” and an “e” like a ’t@rd might spell it, would dictate that you need to run more, but give er a whirl.

Do keep us updated.

bawbag wrote:

My pal is a diddy (scots for a tit) and trains all the time a.

Not really helpful, to be honest. What is it American for.

With the right motivation you can do anything.

How fat we talkin'? Basic running for a few weeks with the primary goal to be to lose as much weight as you can (via diet, mostly). Then we can worry about a training plan

shug wrote:

Okay; run 30 minutes 4 times a week. One day, warm up 15 minutes, then 5 x 60 seconds on/off, 5 x 30 seconds on/off. Alternatively, find a hill and beat the shite out of yourself for 15 minutes.

Cut back a bit on the beer and drop a few pounds. Hopefully after 12 weeks you might be able to look down and see your pecker instead of gut. Then run your 5k.

About the best you can do running.

I would recommend biking or cross training mostly, so you can do more volume without wrecking your joints. Losing weight and getting basic fitness is all you need for 18 min. You probably could do it without running a step before the race and just cross training for weight-loss and fitness.

People really believe they can jump from fat, out of shape, not running at all to 18 minutes 5k in 12 weeks?

That's impossible unless you are elite talent and odds are that you aren't.

Presuming, this is a genuine poster, check out Jimmy Watkins from Wales, he would be more accomplished than you, but started from somewhere similar last January, he made pretty rapid progress, once he committed to training.

Obviously I think your motivation isn't ideal, but if it gets you back sub 18, great.

Best of luck and thank you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ScottishPeopleTwitter/

The Irishman wrote:

Ghost of Igloi wrote:

Get a bloke that can translate your blarny ramblings.

It’s Blarney not blarny, blarney is Irish by the way and means to speak with charm.

The OP clearly stated he’s Scottish. Bawbag is your ball sack in Scotland for those interested.

Thanks, I knew someone would come to the rescue. Glad to hear about bawbag.

How'd you feel doing the 2 mile test at 8 min pace? Was it an all out effort?

I don't speak Pikey, but from what I gathered from your post, you're not going to run 18 anything for 5K in 3 months.

I would suck for you to train hard for 3 months and still fall short of the mark.

So don't even try.

It may even be more satisfying to pretend you're in shape, make him race hard and fall back to an easy 25 minute 5K.

Day 1: 2k hard, go for season pb each week

Day 2: rest

Day 3: 3k moderate

Day 4: rest

Day 5: 1k x 3 hard go for season pb on final rep each week

Day 6: 5k easy

Day 7: rest

Repeat

This is exactly what I needed this morning