I’m a runner and runners annoy me!

After reading this, the divorce makes sense. You’re incorrigible.

I run with a running club and I have made two types of friends within this group; 'running mates' and 'mates who are runners'. The first are people that are fine to go for a run with and maybe have a pint after a race/training session. The second is people that I would happily meet up with outside of running.

Not knowing your group, I would suggest that the reason that you're only talking about running is that you have nothing else in common, it's not their fault any more than it is your fault. Keep running with the runners and try other social activities too.

So you came here to letsrun to whine about how you hate runners talking about running?

Self loathing plagues you

most people don't talk about running with their family and closest friends. Because they don't care and have no idea what you are talking about. That is why running friends talk about running with each other. Who else is going to give a sh%t?

Dear Deidre has pretty much everything else right.

kjstaley wrote:

Anyone else feel like this!?!?

no. maybe you should quit running.

Most runners are boring af. So there is nothing else to talk about with them than running and it's good so. I like to talk about training and racing. It's an opportunity to learn and share experiences. Those people annoy me who talk about sacrifices and that they don't have time for running because they have to sleep 10 hours a night or have family obligation.

I could talk about running all day. And I feel it helps to race well when you discuss your upcoming race with people. It builds it up in your mind like it's a really big deal. And if you're running a race and don't think it's a very big deal, you're going to have troubles digging deep and running your best race. Because why run so hard if the race doesn't matter at all?

You are not alone.

I absolutely LOVE running. The days I am unable to get a run in are significantly less fulfilling for me than the days I am able to run.

But I don't do two things:

(1) run with other people

(2) talk about running

I don't do the first because running, for me, is quiet time: time for me to be with my thoughts, to meditate on things, to think about my life and goals, to reflect on life and how I should be grateful for everything life has given me, etc. It's not to hear about Kathy's chaffing at mile 2 of her local 5k.

I don't do the second because (a) when I do so with someone who doesn't run, I know they don't care and I'm not contributing anything to their life with a running story, (b) when I do so with someone who does run, it turns into a whole running conversation that bores the crap out of me, and (c) running, as referenced above, is my personal space that I enjoy by myself. Talking about running with other people counters that personal space.

It's also one of the reasons I come here: there is a part of me that does want to talk about some aspects of running, but when I'm on the internet I can just shut the page or leave the conversation if I get bored or annoyed!

Do you hang around public toilets and have chemsex with male strangers? If so, that’s probably the cause of the issue. You need to do more cruise intervals with like minded men brah.

People that just talk about running are insufferable. Gotta have more than just that going on in your life. Running with people who you know well and can talk about anything with is great. Find better people to run with, I guess.

Placed in overall?

You can have interesting in depth conversations about running, most people don't. I like the psychological aspects of it and how it reveals the character of the person who is running.

Being happy about a PR, I'll never deny someone the pleasure of that but endless discussions about shoes or food/diet sometimes are just too much. Race stories I find very compelling especially if well narrated.

Nothing wrong with you, maybe it's good that some derive happiness from obsessions, I tend to enjoy many different aspects of life simultaneously and avoid doing a deep dive into any particular one.

Maybe you should be more vulnerable with people. Making friends as an adult is hard. It takes a time to establish yourself when you move far away.

I am right there with you. I have been a runner for 40+ years, and ran professionally for a number of them. One of my favorite things about hanging out with my fellow competitors at races was that we NEVER talked about running! It would have been like hanging out with your work friends, and talking about work. Everyone is different, and some runners enjoy the social aspect of it, and some don't. To each his/her own, I say!

I feel that with running groups 85-90% of the people you meet, you can be friends at a ‘surface’ level as you put it. You might meet 2 or 3 people though that you actually like in other contexts though and make good friendships.

I do my best to talk about my own running and elite level athletics. Most people respond with blank looks as I take them through 10k world record splits, Kipchoge’s brilliant sub 2 marathon, and other astonishing feats. It’s about communicating the excitement of distance running and planting seeds of interest for potential fans. At the very least they will be knowledgeable and able to educate others on the subject.

As a near-lifetime runner, one thing that took a while to sink in for me from the forums here on LRC is that many don't really seem to love running just for it's own sake. Competition is the be-all, end-all. That's the perspective they view it from almost completely: times, distances, nutritional strategies, shoes, strength training, anything to make them run faster, that's mainly it. Once they can't improve their PRs anymore, they lose motivation for it, asking what else could keep them into it.

Similarly, with so many here, money, finances, and career seem to be one of the main criteria they use to define and judge others in life. I.e., you're a loser if you don't have a successful career, make big bucks. It seems to parallel the obsession with competition.

Don't know how many here that actually characterizes or in local running groups, but a large number of the posts seem to reflect this mentality. What about loving running for its own sake, and competition as a fun, challenging add-on perhaps, but not the core or essence of it? Running just for the running itself, moving through the landscape on your own power like an animal, the physical joy of it, being outside in the weather and nature, a natural way to connect with yourself, with life, etc.

Finding out that many, maybe most runners just want to yak about the minutiae of running, it's not surprising that the average runner you find in local running groups can be one-dimensional and boring when you get right down to it. I used to think most runners had more going for them than that, but I have come to conclude otherwise.

P.S. I meant to add that a reunion I attended a few years ago for the track/cross-country team I was on in college really brought this subject home to me.

With only a few exceptions, almost nobody I talked to that had been on the team (over a 20-year span of graduation years or more) was still running. Many were overweight, etc. I had somehow thought runners were different than football players or whatever in that regard, that we were a different breed and ran just as much because we truly loved running and not just because we were competitive athletes. Not true.

To the OP, the crux of the matter is this - you joined a running group, not because you wanted to share the running experience, but instead "... to run with a group to make new friends."

You found the group lacking, but I wonder if the reason is due to your pretense for joining the group in the first place. Not going to beat this to death, but i think you can see that what you were hoping to get out of the group might be different than what brought most of the others there in the first place.

Good luck with it. Maybe try different social settings or groups based more on social goals.

Hmm, funny. I have acquired the same issue with cycling. been part of it for 40 years, but watching people ride 3 across the road with a giant chip on their shoulder flipping off everyone who doesnt move over 50 feet has made me literally angry at them. Running not so much.