Wife cheated, son is not mine. Advice?

I'm too lazy to read through to see if anyone said this yet, but get a lawyer AND a counselor/therapist immediately, before you confront your wife.

This is a complex situation, and you need these people to be your sounding boards for both the legal AND emotional choices you'll have to make. This next phase of your life (and the kid's life) is too important to not get full professional advice on BOTH aspects of what's going on.

Distraught Dad wrote:

OP here. Still haven't told my wife, but I have managed to contact a lawyer and will be meeting with him tomorrow. Thanks for all the replies and advice. I still love my son deeply, but having this dropped on me has made me question whether or not I want to keep custody, but I will keep everyone posted.

Also for those who asked, my 5K PR is 15:03. Recently I decided that I'd like to break 15 and have been training for that, but this mess has really been getting in the way

10/10

? The OP drops this bomb so blatantly it's as if he grew tired of continuing the effort, yet only a couple have caught on so far ?.

I'm not an attorney but my understanding is in most states the OP is responsible for thread support even if it's a troll, which is why he has been forced to continue the charade. He should definitely seek legal council before posting further, but for now, we could all do him a favor by just letting it die.

I'm curious to hear how this major stress has affected your training. In my experience, running has always been a great outlet throughout my life when dealing with stress of small problems. But when something really heavy came along last month (totally different situation than OP`s, but probably similar in terms of the stress level), my training oscillated between two states: one where my heart rate was through the roof all the time and I could barely keep an easy pace, and another where my heart rate would be fine, but I would feel like I was going to black out for the first 20-25 minutes and then after that I would be on cloud nine.

Can you comment at all on how your training has been going and if it's actually given any positive stress relief from this unfortunate situation?

XK18 wrote:

I'm curious to hear how this major stress has affected your training. In my experience, running has always been a great outlet throughout my life when dealing with stress of small problems. But when something really heavy came along last month (totally different situation than OP`s, but probably similar in terms of the stress level), my training oscillated between two states: one where my heart rate was through the roof all the time and I could barely keep an easy pace, and another where my heart rate would be fine, but I would feel like I was going to black out for the first 20-25 minutes and then after that I would be on cloud nine.

Can you comment at all on how your training has been going and if it's actually given any positive stress relief from this unfortunate situation?

Good question. Within the last couple weeks mileage has been low, but I have tried to get a couple short runs in. I too, few weird when running right now. I’m not sure if it’s just just the immense stress and weight I’m feeling or what. All I know is my running is taking a massive toll. I was doing 60-70 mpw consistently, and that number has dived to nearly 0 over the last 2 weeks. I’m finally starting to feel a little more emotionally stable, so I think I’m going to try to pound some miles in tonight. I don’t want this situation to turn me into a slouch.

Also, no major updates as of now. Just been doing some trivial things with the lawyer and such

-DD

It looks like you are doing the right steps.

Looking at the big picture you need to make some important decisions.

Will you divorce her or not - it looks like you will, but it's good to take this time away to make the decision practical and not just emotional.

Will the child learn you are not the father and when - I think the child needs to learn this early on. You don't want this to be a big reveal when he is 18 or something. Age 4 isn't a bad age to learn this. It will probably be one of his first lasting memories, though, but he will never have a solid memory of you being his biological father.

You can still raise him as you son and maybe adopt him if you want to keep him in your life forever. Or, this is a good time to break it off because he will become more attached every year. Leaving when he is 10 would be bad.

Do you want to legally adopt him and simultaneously divorce your wife? I think that may be a reasonable route to go. I couldn't imagine losing a 4 year old that I raised as my child.

Yeah, this sucks.

Sorry

Better idea. Go pound out some ladies...not just miles.

In all seriousness though, not a bad idea. It will help get over this easier. You do not want to go back to her. I repeat...you DO NOT want to go back to her.

You will end up staying with her for a couple more years until it ends. You will regret those years when you knew it wasn't right. Trust me, it is easier to get rid of some of the pain now by making excuses and going back...but the pain and regret will be worse in the end.

Stay away, keep running, hang with friends, tell family, keep posting here, take a trip, pound out the ladies.

The end. You will succeed.

I think you guys are just a bunch of trollers. You’re 5K time is probably terrible and not even an avid runner.

I have completely lost any motivation for life.

As I said earlier, I decided to go on a seven mile run tonight, but was feeling homesick so decided to run past my house just to see what I've been missing. While running, I noticed that there was an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I decided to check it out, so I glanced in the front window and found my wife and tyrod having sex on the couch in the living room while my son was at school.

I've never felt so defeated, so I finished up my run and decided to go for a drive. Currently updating you from Idaho. Not sure how far I'll be going, but it doesn't seem like I'll be stopping any time soon.

-DD

Distraught Dad wrote:

I have completely lost any motivation for life.

As I said earlier, I decided to go on a seven mile run tonight...While running, I noticed that there was an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I decided to check it out, so I glanced in the front window and found my wife and tyrod having sex on the couch in the living room while my son was at school.

-DD

So your son goes to night school? Calling BS

My life was destroyed when my husband sent me packing, after 13 years we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to get my husband back to me. One day at work, I was distracted, not knowing what to do, so my boss called me, so he sat and asked me what it was all about, I told him and he smiled and said it was no problem. I never understood what he meant by it was no problem getting back my husband, he said he used the help of Erica to get back his wife when she left him for another man, and now they are together till date, initially, I was shocked hearing something like this from my boss. He gave me an email address (erika_raven_temple@ religious. com) of Erica temple which helped him get his wife back, I never believed that this would work, but I had no choice coming into contact with the sayings that I get done, and she asked for my information and that my husband was able to propose to throw her the spell and I sent her the details, but after two days, my mother called me that my husband was pleading that he wants me back, I never believed, because it was just a dream and I had to rush off to my mother's place and to my greatest surprise, was kneeling my husband beg me for forgiveness that he wants me and the child back home, when I gave Erica a conversation regarding sudden change of my husband and she made clear to me that my husband will love me until the end of the world, that he will never leave for another woman. Now I and my husband is back together and started doing funny things he has not done before, he makes me happy and does what it is supposed to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need the help of any kind need, please contact Erica temple for help. Her email is emagicp101@ gmail . com or erika_raven_temple@ religious. com her website is www . ericaraven. webs . com

Wow that's like the saddest spam I've ever read.

Why would you want your husband back when he doesn't want you? It's like slavery. Why would you want to do that to someone you care about? It's not right, Sarah.

10/10

Great cúck story to get much response from the LRBF cùcks. Well done, treat yoself!

Distraught Dad wrote:

I have completely lost any motivation for life.

As I said earlier, I decided to go on a seven mile run tonight, but was feeling homesick so decided to run past my house just to see what I've been missing. While running, I noticed that there was an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I decided to check it out, so I glanced in the front window and found my wife and tyrod having sex on the couch in the living room while my son was at school.

I've never felt so defeated, so I finished up my run and decided to go for a drive. Currently updating you from Idaho. Not sure how far I'll be going, but it doesn't seem like I'll be stopping any time soon.

-DD

Good job with the troll thread I guess, it was getting pretty obvious early on but people were still biting. The early posts were the best I've seen on here in a long time, 9/10.

sbeefyk2 wrote:

Unless you keep the kid as your own, you are not a dad. Parents are not those that donate reproductive fluids. Parents are those who raise the kid.

Biological parents are automatically parents regardless of whatever you might claim. Also, you don't get to strip people of the parenting title that men earned by acting in that role for years, because they choose to walk away from the situation entirely.

My wife one day dissapeared. The police investigated as homicide and i was suddenly in their searchlight. It looked like a murder and I was about to be convicted for it. Then she reappeared and I found out she did it to get me convicted. Then she drugged and raped me and when I told her I would leave her, she said she was pregnant. Now I have to stay with her forever.

Hi Nick!

Sounds like something a LIBERAL would do. Those stupid liberals. DEMOCRAPS