We give our in-laws $500-600 per month, should I say anything to my wife?

no conversation needed you are locked into this lifestyle-- enjoy the peace it brings to your marriage.

So they are paying the mortgage on a house your wife owns (which is more than what you are paying them)?

Did I understand that correctly?

If so, not sure you have much to complain about. Also sounds like you knew what you were getting into before you married your wife. At this point, refusing to give them money is probably going to result in serious marital problems (just a guess). If I were you I would either continue as is or move to a more affordable area if that's an option.

So monthly you're coming out $300-$400 ahead (they pay you $900, you give back $500-$600), plus you're building equity in the home. Sounds like a good deal for marital happiness.

800k house with roughly 200k income a year total? I would not buy a house that expensive if I were you. Savings is important and it's great that you have 200k saved. However, the three big factors are income, assets, and credit. I assume you have great credit. However, the most important factor by far is income. I would think you would need a minimum of 250k gross a year to consider an 800k house.

You got sucked into marrying her parents too. She will go bonkers if you try to take away their salaries. Watch.

You sound like a whinny little b1tch. You are rich. Stop complaining about helping out family you stingy ass.

Thank you for your advice. Yes we make about 200k pre-tax combined, maybe closer to 220k or 230k after holiday pay and over time. My wife actually makes a little more than me so I guess I have nothing to complain about. Unfortunately put jobs are region specific (Boston area) which is why housing prices are out of control. These 800k homes were 600k just 3 years ago and there is no sign of slowing down. Maybe we'll get lucky and find something in the 700k range.

Yes you can say I got sucked into marrying her parents, but my wife supported them the same amount before we were married too.

1st world problems wrote:

These 800k homes were 600k just 3 years ago and there is no sign of slowing down.

A downturn is inevitable. Wait until mid-2020 and see what happens.

You can get something more affordable outside of Boston. You just have to commute or take a train.

If you knew this before you got married, then you're stuck unless you have a compelling reason to change course.

None of your reasons are compelling. I live in D.C., and I managed to find a moderately priced home with some concessions.

I used to give a far less amount to help with my ill dad's care. Well, he passed last month, and while the money was always a contentious issue for various reasons, I originally agreed to it, and I'd gladly would have continued it for the next few years if it meant I had a few more moments with him.

Keep the grandparents happy. The free child care is more than worth $500-600 a month.

Just keep your money separate. You each put $XXXX into a joint account each month. That joint account is used to pay or mortgage and household bills. The just goes into your own account. She gives her money to her parents. You save for the sports car you'll want after you get divorced. And you will be getting divorced. I would bet $10K right now on that.

You're a little sissy boy for agreeing to let this happen.

DeBron Lames wrote:

1st world problems wrote:

These 800k homes were 600k just 3 years ago and there is no sign of slowing down.

A downturn is inevitable. Wait until mid-2020 and see what happens.

Even in 2008, housing prices continued to climb in major markets. There can be a nationwide housing downturn, but it's unlikely to have much of an effect in Boston, NYC, DC, or SF.

simple solution wrote:

Just keep your money separate. You each put $XXXX into a joint account each month. That joint account is used to pay or mortgage and household bills. The just goes into your own account..

^^^^ DO THIS

Precious Roy wrote:

Keep the grandparents happy. The free child care is more than worth $500-600 a month.

This I agree with. Your in laws are probably not just cheaper, but better babysitters than a professional, since they'll love your children in a way a professional never can. Bonus points if they're teaching your children their native language, there is no downside and only upsides.

It sounds like you agreed to everything before you were married, so you cant really change it now unless you've experienced a recent hardship, etc.

Your in laws appear to live a modest life, so it doesnt seem like they're wasting the money, they're living more frugally than the vast majority in your area.

Your wife values family. That is a positive. It sounds like you both ended up with a good person for a partner willing to make family a priority. I'd reflect on that and maintain the status quo.

If you're stressed on money or just looking to save up to retire early, take vacations, etc find other ways to cut expenses. It may or may not apply to you, but most people have lots of easy excess to cut. Housing is the largest expense for most, so look there first. You may be able to downsize significantly if you're willing to move. Failing that, restaurants, alcohol, cars, and vacations are common places that it is easy to cut expenses.

Vacations on a low budget will be just as rewarding as long as you're not a full service cruise type of person. Rv rentals, camping are cheaper than VRBO or hotels. Eating at home is cheaper than eating at restaurants. Do your in laws know how to cook interesting ethnic foods?

DeBron Lames wrote:

1st world problems wrote:

These 800k homes were 600k just 3 years ago and there is no sign of slowing down.

A downturn is inevitable. Wait until mid-2020 and see what happens.

i lived in boston thru the last downturn and housing prices stabilized for a bit then kept going up.

we bought a fixer upper in a boston suburb (one of the many W towns) in 2000 for 300k. Its well over a million now. But if i sold it where would i go?

My wife and i were just looking at local houses on the market this morning. Everything is over $1M. And these are modest homes, not newton or belmont or westin or such.

good luck

No. Your wife makes more than you, so bite your tongue. First, she owns the house, so ultimately you are getting more cash flow than you are putting out. Second, what you are arguing is ex post facto. You understood the terms of her agreement with her parents before you signed into the marriage contract and now you are trying to change the terms. That is low. You want more money? Go make more money. Until that day, enjoy being a trophy husband.

Would they get a pension or a retirement where they came from, if they were back there? Are her siblings pitching in as well?