Getting enough guts to approach my crush...(D1)

Just say hey and start a conversation.

"Are you new here?" Where are you from? What's your major?"

Say "Hey" to get her attention.

I was a steeplechaser in college and married a softball player. Most softball girls are as awkward as runners, some go for the traditional jock, so you need to overcome that with confidence and guts. Man up big time! You'll also find that by having the confidence to approach a woman will give you the confidence to take the lead in a race!

1. Wear clean clothes that match and fit.

2. Watch a softball game with your friends/ teammates--ok to show up late if coming from practice/ race.

3. Approach her in athletic training room, gym, whatever and introduce yourself. Show real interest in her sport by asking intelligent questions about it. Ask a follow up like how long she's played, what positions, etc.

4. See where that goes:

A) you like her, conversation running dry, leave on your terms in a friendly way.

B) conversation goes well, follow through with invitation to something (coffee, hike, etc), ask to walk her to her car, class, whatever. Get number.

C) bump into her 2-3 days later and be honest with her: "hey, I really enjoyed meeting you the other day. Can I take you out for coffee or a hike?" (Hopefully you know what she likes by now, so give her 2-3 options to make her feel like she's in control.)

D) clean your car before taking her out. Empty all trash, wash it and make it look as best you can. Small details like this show that you have your act together. Women want men to be dependable, strong and protective. Demonstrate these qualities at all times. If you cannot do this, learn to do it!!!

First date: compliment her early on. "I like your hair, what did you do differently?"

Tonight: watch a WW2 documentary and realize that the Americans shooting nazis were your age. Show the same courage and determination and achieve your goal!

Love this post. +1 Confidence from it. Still shaking thinking about doing it though tbh lol

Just got to grow a pair and do it bro. Because if you don't some other guy definitely WILL I guarantee it!

Just go up to her and say something she's not going to attack you for it. You start feeling nerves just keep talking anyway,

It is very easy to say "just grow a pair and do it." She is extremely attractive and hard for me to swallow that pill of just randomly approaching her...would be freaking out when I was about to do it / during it..

MWRunner wrote:

Love this post. +1 Confidence from it. Still shaking thinking about doing it though tbh lol

Ok good, you're thinking about it. Treat this like your NCAA qualifier: you know your goal, but now you have to practice.

Practice talking to other people you barely know before you approach her. Even if it's the neighbor next door.

Look man, I was a college coach for a while and I told the athletes something I wish I knew when I was competing: in order to run a time you've never run before, you have to race in a way you've never raced before!

When your goal was to break the 5 minute mile, you didn't get there by opening up in a 75--you had to open up in a 70 and push yourself to do it 3 more times! And each lap got harder! Now you open up an 8k in 5 minutes and have a pizza slice at the same time. If this girl is what you say she is, guess what: there are other guys just as scared as you are who want her. You have to acknowledge that fear and and approach her with a winning mentality. Woman like winners.

My issue is that obviously no one wants to be embarrassed for their rest of their college years, walking up to a girl who was never interested in the first place. Obviously she is going to tell all her teammates and I would have to deal with the repercussions for the next few years, if things didn't go well / I made a fool out of myself. Essentially that's why I hoped naturally it would be easier, because it wouldn't look like I went out of my way, or randomly approached her. Would be more subtle..

MWRunner wrote:

It is very easy to say "just grow a pair and do it." She is extremely attractive and hard for me to swallow that pill of just randomly approaching her...would be freaking out when I was about to do it / during it..

Lol bro I wouldn't be saying "just grow a pair and do it" if I didn't know exactly how you feel and wouldn't be able to do it myself. Like sh*t my man, just give me her instagram and I'll come and steal her from you myself to prove my point lmao.

It's not about getting nervous. You think this girl is adorable, ur going to be nervous you probably will not be able to get around feeling the sensation of anxiety. You just have to go through with talking to her even though you feel the anxiety. Stop treating anxiety as if it controls you and start looking at it like any other kind of sensation. If you had an itch in your foot and needed to ask a old man for some water because you were thirsty would you let the itch of your foot stop you from getting what you want? No you wouldn't.

Once you initiate the conversation and start talking it gets easier I promise you.

MWRunner wrote:

My issue is that obviously no one wants to be embarrassed for their rest of their college years, walking up to a girl who was never interested in the first place. Obviously she is going to tell all her teammates and I would have to deal with the repercussions for the next few years, if things didn't go well / I made a fool out of myself. Essentially that's why I hoped naturally it would be easier, because it wouldn't look like I went out of my way, or randomly approached her. Would be more subtle..

Nah the opportunity will never be as perfect as you hope for. Bro, I know u are thinking of how embarrassing it could be if you mess up but if you don't sack up and talk to this girl some other dude is going to come and sweep her of her feet and you're going to regret being a little p*ssy and not talking to her for the rest of your college life probably.

If you mess up and she thinks your just some clown and goes for the quarterback at least you can have the satisfaction that you tried the best that you could at the time and that you have balls. If you're going to go down, go down fighting. Don't be disrespectful to yourself like that and deny yourself the opportunity to get what u want.

It is actually even better that she plays softball. How long is a softball game last. While she is playing on the field you could be doing a long run by just lapping the fukk around the field many times. When shes sees that you have been able to run nonstop for the full duration of her time in the field, she will think you are some sort of endurance god and will think you must be training for the Olympic marathon. You could finish your run as she is leaving the field afterwards. Pretend you are exhausted and collapse onto the ground right in front of her. Look up and her and smile and say something witty like, I wouldn't have made it this far if I didn't have you to look at. You are the greatest softball player I have ever layed eyes on. Then drop your head onto the ground and pretend to be unconscious. She will probably be hugging you and giving mouth to mouth. Open your eyes after a few minutes and ask her if she is an angel. Ask her if you are in heaven, as you could only imagine someone as amazing as her could exist there.

At this stage she will think you are a hero and the nicest person ever. Girls like compliments. She will be impressed that you can be so strong and nice to her even after collapsing, and will think you are alpha because you are not crying in pain after collapsing. Say something funny like, you play softball, I play hardball. When she sees what a man you are so will want you and there will be a sofa waiting for the 2 of you in Starbucks the next day.

MWRunner wrote:

My issue is that obviously no one wants to be embarrassed for their rest of their college years, walking up to a girl who was never interested in the first place. Obviously she is going to tell all her teammates and I would have to deal with the repercussions for the next few years, if things didn't go well / I made a fool out of myself. Essentially that's why I hoped naturally it would be easier, because it wouldn't look like I went out of my way, or randomly approached her. Would be more subtle..

Why don't you just not approach her at all? That would be waymore subtle, not to mention suave!

"Repercussions for the next few years"? Are you serious? After she rejects you -which is the only possible outcome at this point- within 45 seconds she'll have forgotten you completely.

Do you think this way going in to races? You have to think different: "I'm going to try to put myself out there and take a risk. If I fail, I will re-evaluate and change what didn't work, and figure out what did work."

Doubtful that she tells ALL her teammates. Maybe a select 1-2. I was shut down by at least 5. women in college who were on various teams--including 2 softball who thought I was a total dork! Most athletes knew because I went to a small NAIA school. You think I cared what others thought? I cared about my mentality and that's it.

You're looking for the easy, organic, Hollywood way of having all the pieces fall into place. I hate to break it to you: this is real life, not a fairy tale! Put your big-boy pants on, lose the running watch, walk tall with your chin up, with confidence and pride in yourself and don't take NO for an answer!

....

Story time: my softball playing wife and I broke up for a few months right around the time I graduated. In between that time, I met another young lady who was on the soccer team and was pretty damn hot--way out of my league. For 2 weeks I tried the organic thing like you're doing, and told myself on a Friday morning, "today's the day!" Well, guess who was a no-show? She wasn't there and I was pissed all weekend. Monday morning rolls around, Christmas break has started and I know I won't see her for 2 months. I had to be at the school for some dumb reason and guess who I see that day? I had to do what I'm telling you, and to this day it's one of my most proud accomplishments. Conversation goes like this:

"Hi, I've seen you here almost every day. I know you play soccer, what's your name?"

"Dumb laugh, small talk, name given."

Me: "so what are you up to today?"

Her: "I'm driving home tonight because my mom and I are doing something tomorrow."

Me: "oh that's too bad."

Her: "what do you mean?"

Me: "well, I wasn't going to take you out for dinner tonight, but since you can't, I'll see you next time." I turn to walk away, she takes the bait--"wait! I can go out for dinner!"

Me: "no way, I'm not stepping in front of mama bear! She has the priority!"

Her: "no, its cool, I can leave in the morning. So where are we going?"

At this point, I was actually nervous. I had 3-4 hours to get all my crap done and take her out. I told her an idea I had, and said I'd pick her up at 5:30. She loved it. We had a nice evening, and I'm glad I did it. She was cool, but we knew after 2 weeks that it wouldn't work. No big deal. We still said hi to each other. I earned respect from others for taking her out.

Just remember, "A faint heart never won a fair lady".

A great-uncle of mine gave that advice when I was probably 10 years old and it served me well.

You have serious balls from that last story...lol. I really like your advice, and your last post as well. Seem to understand my situation.

I have a lot of confidence in myself but don't naturally show it, because I hate people who act like that. With girls it is tough, because I know I am a nice, good guy, and would treat her well. But obviously its hard to judge someone off of first impression, or what you've heard about them. I think I am a good looking guy, but I feel as if she is out of my league; due to herself playing a more prominent sport, and being a very pretty girl in college, who I assume several guys have already tried. I just want to distance myself immediately from anyone who has already tried, since I believe I am "better" for her than them. How would I show her that? Like I said, first impression is hard to tell who someone truly is; all you have to judge is looks, way of dress, and what you've seen / heard briefly...

Just ask her out. Make it clear that it's a date. If you can't find the courage to do that, then you will never be a couple. Who cares about what other people think. Asking for a date isn't a tacit way of asking to f' someone...it's saying, "Hey...you have qualities that I like, and I'd like to spend some time with you to get to know you better." Approach dating with this mindset, and it won't matter if she rejects you, which she probably will. So what? You can take it with grace and show her that you have good qualities, too.

UhHuh wrote:

Cringing at all the bluepilled Beta cuk advice in this thread. smh

+1

Not even trying to be mean. But all this "I'm a nice guy" and "I'm better for her than them" and putting her on a pedestal. Puke.

She already has worked her way through a stable of jacked chads, there is no hope