My Wife's College Friends are Visiting and I can't Wait for them to Leave

Has to be asked wrote:

Pics of wife and friends? Any tales of college “experimentation”?

At 45, am I to old to be laughing at this? Just spit up my drink.

But the OP says they've been inconsiderate. I dont' think so. They were invited by your wife. They have young kids. What do you expect them to do? Paint the hallway. Young kids make a mess.

Just go to a co-working space for the week.

Deebo wrote:

One word chump: hotel.

With that woman whose been trying to hook up with you.

Wadster wrote:

Deebo wrote:

One word chump: hotel.

Amen.

When people want to visit me, and are angling for a night at the "ranch", I offer up affordable hotels that have a pool for the kiddies. And privacy for the adults! I don't pay for it, but I value my privacy, and usually the other people do to.

I learned this after watching a relative deal with too many relatives coming to visit her - she lived near some good vacation attractions. She should've been charging for the number of visits she was getting.

Spot on.

Weve got a great pool which attracts unwanted " guests. "

so I tell them "i got a pond and a pool. The pond would be good for you."

Unfortunately, most dont get it.

Spray them all with a spray bottle of water, laugh when you do it like you're having great fun, and keep doing this till they leave. If that doesn't work, then start using pillows, and whack them all on their heads, again laughing the whole time like you're having great fun. If they stay anyway, at least you'll be having a good time and enjoying yourself.

knives wrote:

This is the one part that really resonated with me! (Grouchy old-ish man on this end.) I have expensive knives that I sharpen myself on water stones. Cutting on a granite countertop won't scratch the granite -- but it will absolutely destroy the knife edge. Almost nothing grinds my gears more than when a guest looks around, grabs whatever knife they find, and starts cutting something. Almost never the appropriate knife for the task; almost always cutting stuff raw on a counter or just as bad, on a plate; and it just seems rude to me if you're in someone else's home and you presume that you can touch anything at all without asking about where and what you should use.

I completely get this, 100%. I'm not OCD or ASD or anything, but can be perfectionist and have extraordinary attention to detail. I know exactly what you mean.

However...

I also taught myself in my late teens and 20s, in a semi-deliberate way, how to behave in the completely opposite way. How to relax utterly, and happily let things get ruined, spoiled, lost, etc. Not the 1% of things I REALLY care about (actually, sometimes even those), but everything else. You can guess the next part - it was liberating, joyful and life-affirming and is a mindset I gladly kept.

Now I can happily switch between both at will, and feel that it's a real strength - most people I know are towards one end of the spectrum or other other but not both. I can be the most intense, highest-performing person in some field and at the same time be the most laid back, Zen-like person, virtually simultaneously. It's a wonderful feeling, and at times it's clearly palpable to others.

In your situation, my instinct would be to nurture the knives lovingly, sharpen them to perfection, and not care one single jot when a guest uses them to rebore their engine. Just sharpen them again, buy new ones, or do without. As for cutting a tomato on the counter top - come on.

You get joy and contentment from both caring aout things and not caring about things. Do both.

Re-reading my post, the obvious reply is I'm a smug, self-satisfied ahole. But I'm really not (imo).

sorry to hear about that bud... just stay in your lane and try to ignore them... just go for a run, I promise you'll feel better

Get all sweaty, come back and give them all hugs.

Deebo wrote:

One word chump: hotel.

Yes! Once on spring break to an expensive city we stayed with relatives to save money. At the end of 4 days, they were so annoying, we moved to a hotel with a fantastic pool and had a blast. Best thing we did. Well worth the money.

All the self-righteous nimrods on this thread bashing this dude are probably the same types people that let their kids run around out of control screaming at restaurants, yell at fast food workers when they mess up their order, and wear these shoes. Sucks to suck.

https://www.amazon.com/NIKE-Monarch-Athletic-white-black/dp/B0059OZ16U

Are they hot?

It sounds like they crossed a boundary for you which you have not discussed with your wife previously, probably becuase you didn't know it would be an issue. Have a boundaries discussion with her so you can have a method for dealing with these things in the future

I think this is a situation for the open robe. It's just what it sounds like. Wander the house wearing your robe, open, with nothing on underneath. It might not change your current situation, but your wife will never invite guests over again.

In college, my dorm was on the ground floor, right near the main drag. Our Resident Advisor was a tour guide for prospective students, and he'd often bring tour groups into our hall to show them a 'typical' dorm. He would often tell us to clean up and behave. We got sick of that crap. So, we'd find out if he was bringing a tour by, and watch him through the window. Just as he entered the hall with his group, someone in our hall would walk down the hall towards the bathroom with their shower supplies, buck naked. He stopped bringing tours by after the second time we did that.

Your body is your greatest defense in this world.

Frustrated Husband wrote:

One of them is definitely headed for a divorce in the future.

Yeah. Yours. You're selfish.

UA Runner wrote:

My advice.. since you're working at home, drink just enough to take the edge and anxiety away, until they leave.

Alcohol has never solved a problem.

Alcohol is a compound consisting of a hydroxyl group that is attached to a carbon atom it is not a solution.

"Fish and visitors smell after three days." -- Benjamin Franklin

Flagpole wrote:

Wow, brother...this hasn't gone as you had hoped, eh?

Should tell you how wrong you are.

Oh, blow off. No one here has legitimately valued your opinion in over a decade. That said, having kids doesn't preclude people from basic courtesies, like taking said kids outside for a while to blow off steam (especially) if the host is working from home, or adhering to an easy-to-follow instruction like cutting fruit on a board dedicated to cutting fruit. Just because a dude's wife invites friends over doesn't mean he needs to prioritize their pleasure over his work or his well-being. People are answering OP as if he walked into someone else's house and began issuing demands rather than simply voicing reasonable objections about how semi-obtrusive third-parties behave in his home.

Deebo wrote:

Wadster wrote:

Amen.

When people want to visit me, and are angling for a night at the "ranch", I offer up affordable hotels that have a pool for the kiddies. And privacy for the adults! I don't pay for it, but I value my privacy, and usually the other people do to.

I learned this after watching a relative deal with too many relatives coming to visit her - she lived near some good vacation attractions. She should've been charging for the number of visits she was getting.

Spot on.

Weve got a great pool which attracts unwanted " guests. "

so I tell them "i got a pond and a pool. The pond would be good for you."

Unfortunately, most dont get it.

You wanna tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?

Poleflag wrote:

That said, having kids doesn't preclude people from basic courtesies, like taking said kids outside for a while to blow off steam (especially) if the host is working from home, or adhering to an easy-to-follow instruction like cutting fruit on a board dedicated to cutting fruit. Just because a dude's wife invites friends over doesn't mean he needs to prioritize their pleasure over his work or his well-being. People are answering OP as if he walked into someone else's house and began issuing demands rather than simply voicing reasonable objections about how semi-obtrusive third-parties behave in his home.

That's what I was thinking. It's his house, his rules (or to be politically correct, it's their house, their rules).

What he was asking for wasn't unexpected nor unrealistic. He works from home, so he should expect to be able to set some boundaries there. And as for treating things as he would treat them, that's a basic expectation and totally reasonable.

If I ever loan out my car (it's rare), I expect it to come back in at least the same condition as it left in. People who give it a wash and top off the fuel are usually the type of people I'd re-loan it out to. If it comes back dirty and no fuel, chances are you won't be able to borrow again from me. So, when I borrow a car, I bring it back washed and fueled.

Stay at my house and expect me to wait on you? or let your kids run wild? or not treat my stuff with respect? You won't be invited back. If you offer to pitch in on some stuff, keep it clean and appropriately quiet? You can expect a another invite.

When I stay at someone's house, I offer to help out with stuff like cooking/cleaning/whatever; respect their stuff, and not be inappropriately loud. That's just being a good houseguest.

Thread is too long to read through lol. Because we all know the real problem; your wife banged one of the friend's husbands. Get over it.