cousin blew through $2-$3 million inheritance, now hitting me up for cash. I cannot believe it

Quietly change you phone. number

If the house isn't owned, move around the corner.

Unless you have a lot of FU money

Let her and her family move in with ya

StroggCore wrote:

Damn she's dumb! I can't believe people like that exists for real.

Would you be even more shocked to find out that not only do people like that exist, but that you're probably one of them? And I am too? 70% of people that get a large windfall (lottery winnings, inheritance, etc) end up broke within 5 years.

People are very bad at managing money in general.

On a more gentle note, if you actually care about her and kids, tell her you'll try to help as you can. 1) She needs to bring a list of all the assets, estate holdings when her parents died. Go through each one and verify everything is gone or is it tied up (annuities, real estate, life insurance, business holdings etc). Verify if there are any assets or income? Does anyone owe her money - have her try to collect debts. 2) Look at expenses - school, apartment, credit cards, etc downsize. Can she get her deposit back on the apartment?

That's about it. Tell her it's up to her after that. Good luck and let us know!

UsedToBeKnowItAll wrote:

StroggCore wrote:

Damn she's dumb! I can't believe people like that exists for real.

Would you be even more shocked to find out that not only do people like that exist, but that you're probably one of them? And I am too? 70% of people that get a large windfall (lottery winnings, inheritance, etc) end up broke within 5 years.

People are very bad at managing money in general.

i would say the majority of people currently living paycheck to paycheck would end up in that situation.

I wonder what happened... This is an 11 month old post. Wonder if OP is still around

don't make a loan wrote:

If you do give her money, make it a gift, not a loan. You know you aren't going to be repaid, so why not just be honest with yourself and her from the beginning instead of pretending it's a loan and worrying about getting paid back.

That said, I wouldn't give or loan the money. Just respond and offer to help her find a cheaper place to live. "Sorry to hear about your difficulty. I can't give you any money, but I'd be glad to take a day to help out with apartment shopping as you try to find a living situation that better fits your current budget."

This.

My sister, many years ago, asked me for a 'loan' to pay off some debts she had accumulated. She was going to pay me back with her 'tax refund'. Yeah, right. I knew it was BS but I told her this "If you insist on calling this a loan then I expect it to be paid back come April. If you don't pay it back don't ever ask me for shite ever again." She was all "oh no, no, no - as soon as I get my refund you'll get it back". Needless to say she never paid me back. But I knew she wouldn't and she knew the consequences of not paying it back. In all the years since, and she's gone through some tough times, she's never asked me for money again. I consider that 'loan' a small price to pay to have gotten her off my back forever.

You're going to think I'm an idiot for doing this, but I did give her about half the money. To put it mildly, she was anything but happy after receiving the venmo, and I've received three missed calls from her husband (who has talked to me a handful of times in the last 10 years)... I'll keep updating as things progress.

Why were you forced to pay it?

No one forced me. Although in all honesty, her husband does terrify me. He's the type of irrational guy who acts emotionally and without fear of consequences. Almost a decade ago I saw him clock a guy in the head with a pool stick after the guy had accidentally backed into him while lining up his shot. Most people would have just ignored it, but he was out for blood and continued acting crazy until the police arrived and physically intervened. I don't think he would hurt me but I cannot guarantee that, and that's certainly played a part in me ignoring his constant calls since venmoing the money.

Anyway, family is family. I don't have much of an explanation for helping her out other than that.

If I was in a position to help her, I would, but there would be conditions.

Such as:

-You want to see pay stubs for 70 hrs/week between the two of them, or you will add 20% on to whatever they make.

-Financial planning class attendance

-Smart debt management

-Demanding an amount equal to, or a percentage of, your assistance be paid forward at some point in the future.

Those are just ideas. But if you can engineer it so that your help is promoting and amplifying good behaviors, then they will do well, your relationship with them will be good, her kids won't feel the brunt of this, and you can feel good about your karma.

The lesson here: If you will be passing money on to someone, make it conditional that they take some type of money management class before the will pays up.

I was not replying to you. I was reply to the guy whose brother bought a bike and rode away.

It's true family will always be family no matter what but that doesn't mean everyone one must interact and do things for one another. In my case I have a sibling that has treated me with such disrespect, particularly when I have been having a difficult time. That moron now thinks that because I offered to give him some of my unneeded stuff that everything is all right with them. They have no idea I'm doing that so that if I predecease them that's all they'll get of my estate that is worth many times more. It's a legal thing.

Does she or her husband have any skills you can exploit?

UsedToBeKnowItAll wrote:

StroggCore wrote:

Damn she's dumb! I can't believe people like that exists for real.

Would you be even more shocked to find out that not only do people like that exist, but that you're probably one of them? And I am too? 70% of people that get a large windfall (lottery winnings, inheritance, etc) end up broke within 5 years.

People are very bad at managing money in general.

"Most people do it" does not equal "it isn't a stupid thing to do."

I inherited an amount in the low seven figures. If anything, it has made me more frugal. I finally have financial security, and losing it is the last thing I want to do.

I really don't care what 70% of the population does. Hell, I don't care if 99% of people with a seven figure inheritance end up going broke. I'd be in idiot if I blew through my money and went back to living paycheck to paycheck.

30%er wrote:

UsedToBeKnowItAll wrote:

Would you be even more shocked to find out that not only do people like that exist, but that you're probably one of them? And I am too? 70% of people that get a large windfall (lottery winnings, inheritance, etc) end up broke within 5 years.

People are very bad at managing money in general.

"Most people do it" does not equal "it isn't a stupid thing to do."

I inherited an amount in the low seven figures. If anything, it has made me more frugal. I finally have financial security, and losing it is the last thing I want to do.

I really don't care what 70% of the population does. Hell, I don't care if 99% of people with a seven figure inheritance end up going broke. I'd be in idiot if I blew through my money and went back to living paycheck to paycheck.

As financially literate as you may be, you seem to be illiterate. I never said "it isn't a stupid thing to do." Of course it's stupid. I just think it's funny that everyone thinks they wouldn't blow the money, but 70% of people do.

I agree with what one other poster said. If you're currently living paycheck to paycheck, it doesn't matter how much money you are given, you'll eventually be back to paycheck to paycheck.

Where did I say that you said it isn't a stupid thing to do? Am I not allowed to add my thoughts unless I am disagreeing with you? Clarify the rules for me so I now how I need to converse with you to keep you happy.

You are looking for an argument where none exists.

If she blew a large amount already she is probably going to blow anything she doesnt truly earn again. Sometimes with people blowing money it's not because theye dumb, it is because of underlying psycological and or emotional issues. The money gives them an opportunity to let loose some of those demons and "chase the dopamine" via spending. This is exacerbated if they didnt work hard to earn the money themselves such as an inheritance or lump sum payment. Your sister was probably living paycheck to paycheck (which is a lot more common thank you think-maybe 35-40% of people) before the inheritance, Tell her to stop living above her means with the loans and lavish lifestyle. You do not owe her anything and especially since she has been proven irresponsible with money you may as well burn it than give it to her. Unless you want to directly pay for something for her such as food or her rent deposit. Otherwisr the money may go to her drugs or lingerie.

Don't know why did they delete my post. But I guess you're right.

Well, calling people dumb sometimes is insulting, LOL. At the other point... My brother is kinda' idiotic too. There was one time when he borrowed money on

https://crowdreality.com/pt/mintos-pt/

just to spend it on freakin' bike. And the very next day he quited his job and ride away. And I was the one who was forced to pay his loan off. But it wasn't too hard. Lucky me, they didn't give this idiot too much money and the interest rate was low. And so, I kinda' understand you. Good luck dealing with this problem!