Who can actually communicate with thier wives?

Ask her if she wants to go for a coffee. Tell her you want to get to know her better. Look at the Ed Sheeran song. We talk for hours and hours about sweet and sour and how your family is doing ok. So surely you can do the same with your wife. Talk about food. That is a good subject. Then talk about her family. Ask her does she know her great great great grandparents and her family history. Talk about running. That should be an obvious thing to talk about. Tell her about Bekele and how you should watch Amsterdam together.

You sound frustrated at not being able to communicate with her?

We take regular walks +- an hour. Sometimes we'll get coffee or ice cream, sometimes we just walk. It gets us both away from work, phones, etc. and we always end up talking the whole time, in a better way than we ever would at home. Everything just flows better when we are moving (in the same direction).

Your wife communicates with me with her eyebrows as she has her mouth full.

Pics?

Is asking her "Where's my dinner, woman?" communicating with her?

Ghost of Igloi wrote:

I have been married 44 years and it is not that hard....talk....listen.....put the iPad or newspaper down. Best advice I have. I am very happy to be married.

Igy

+1 to this.

Unsolicited advice to everyone - put your phone on silent and out of sight when you are at home with your family, or in the company of people. Its a f'ing drain on your life. There's nothing worse than trying to talk to someone who can't stop scrolling through facebook. The world would be a better place with more socializing and less social media-ing. Its not the same thing.

Be vulnerable. Put it all out there. Take her on a date and ask questions. Get to really know her. Listen and at that same time open up to her and be 100 percent real. Honesty even if it hurts or is hard is best but you both need to buy into it. I don't hold anything back from my wife either does she. She knows it all good bad and ugly. She knows my weaknesses, struggles and my strength.

She knows the worst ugly things of my past and my triumphs. The only way to truly be known is to be open, honest and vulnerable.

I would sit down or go for a walk and tell her exactly what you said in your first post. "I feel like I'm failing at communicating with you sometimes, and I want to do better."

Working on communication with your spouse is something you'll deal with as long as the relationship lasts. Honestly, communication in any relationship is something that needs pretty much constant attention.

Find stuff to do together and talk about it. Be interested in things she does without you - ask questions. Share what you think she would be interested in, but you can't possibly tell her every detail of your day.

It gets better as you figure out how you should communicate with her.

Make sure you always give her a heads up if your plans change - this is one thing most women will be pissed at if you don't.

The only way to talk to your wife is with the hand. This will eliminate any confusion about who is in charge and will smooth out all disagreements. If you don't keep them in line they begin to think they can make the rules.

You’d think, but wrote:

JaminLoper wrote:

Jamin and Hardloper then would be the worst. They can't even score a real date.

Hardloper is actually married. The only stand up thing that guy does on here is to not talk about his personal life. Other than that he’s a terrible human being.

FYI: Married = Can't score a real date

The best male communicators are the ones who have insightful viewpoints and express their love through honest care and affection (that includes taking care of themselves as well as others). The rest are useless lumps of flesh.

This may seem counter intuitive, but a good way to communicate better is to not text/call each other so much during the day. I found that it gives my wife and I more to talk about at the end of the day.

I used to be a very bad communicator, but I have learned to open up a LOT more. Most of this is from me becoming a Christian.

There are still times where my wife and I will eat dinner in silence or just be in the same room without talking for a while. I think that is normal and healthy. Just like spending time apart, with other friends is important.

I am happily married, btw.

Not so fast bro wrote:

Just ask her about her day and try to listen. Make some observation about it so she thinks you're paying attention. Then tune out.

"How was your day?"

"Well, so and so stopped and got Starbucks on the way to work this morning..."

"Oh, did she pick something up for you?"

"No, and...."

(at this point, you can tune out as you've expressed interest and demonstrated that you were listening)

Just say "oh?" or "really?" or "no kidding?" every few minutes.

This Although the rest of the conversation might actually be going:

"I'm having an affair"

"Oh?"

Yes, I t's been going on since before we were married"

"Really"

Yeah, and I want a divorce"

"No kidding"

Married 13 years. 3 kids. Wife grew up in a small family where everyone was proper and rational...cursing was VERY taboo. I grew up in a big family where there was a lot of yelling and some cursing...like "shut the damn door, it's cold out there!". If that was said in my wife's family growing up, their heads would've exploded. I curse a fair amount...my wife hardly ever. So for us, cursing has been my biggest adjustment. If I make a passing remark and include a profanity, my wife focuses solely on that. I could say "I JUST F*CK'N WON THE LOTTERY... OR CURED CANCER!" and she'd emotionally shut down because of the f-bomb.

You say guys are bad at communication. I feel the opposite way. I think guys are much more clear, efficient, effective, practical and straightforward. Men and women are different, but I would argue that men have superior communication methods/abilities/styles, etc.

Vulnerability wrote:

Be vulnerable. Put it all out there. Take her on a date and ask questions. Get to really know her. Listen and at that same time open up to her and be 100 percent real. Honesty even if it hurts or is hard is best but you both need to buy into it. I don't hold anything back from my wife either does she. She knows it all good bad and ugly. She knows my weaknesses, struggles and my strength.

She knows the worst ugly things of my past and my triumphs. The only way to truly be known is to be open, honest and vulnerable.

Don't listen to this guy. I'm 100% serious. Women want you to be a man, regardless of what they might say or even think at times. Men and women are different. Each needs the other to be what they are. Your wife does not need you to be another woman. Furthermore, she won't respect you in her heart of hearts.

Harlinsdaler wrote:

Married 13 years. 3 kids. Wife grew up in a small family where everyone was proper and rational...cursing was VERY taboo. I grew up in a big family where there was a lot of yelling and some cursing...like "shut the damn door, it's cold out there!". If that was said in my wife's family growing up, their heads would've exploded. I curse a fair amount...my wife hardly ever. So for us, cursing has been my biggest adjustment. If I make a passing remark and include a profanity, my wife focuses solely on that. I could say "I JUST F*CK'N WON THE LOTTERY... OR CURED CANCER!" and she'd emotionally shut down because of the f-bomb.

Well Damn, son! What makes her curse? Hopefully you shut down too.